- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2007
I know we all have different feelings on the name change & whether it is for us or not. I am still debating this one 11 months into our engagement, and as we get married in 6 months, I kind of feel like time is going to make my mind up!
I have always been really iffy about changing my surname, and this is something we have debated about for years to be honest, even before talking about marriage! My name is current
First Name Middle Name Biological Surname (now 2nd Middle Name) Last Name (Stepdad’s surname).
So I already have 4 names, my first & middle names that I was name when I was born, and then my Mom remarried and I took my stepdad’s name as my surname, but my parents made my biological name another middle name. I have hated this for years, it made me really angry that my parents (Mom & Stepdad) included my biological name as a middle name when we changed my name (I was 3) but I am super happy that I have grown up with my Stepdad’s last name – this is my proper name as I see it and I never wanted to have my biological name in my name at all. Particularly because it is a weird name as well and actually means something, but not something you would name someone so people just thought I had a weird name. I intend to drop my biological surname/now 2nd middle name when we get married as it isn’t me.
So anyway, I have always struggled with the name change idea because of this change & just the fact that I don’t think you should have to change your name just because you marry. I want us to have the same name, but I don’t want to loose my last name (stepdad’s name), and I don’t really only want it to be a middle name as I want it to be a name that is used. So, hypenating would be the plan – except H2B won’t hypenate so it would just be me. I’m ok with this, he is less so but we can live with that. However, I am in my final few months of teacher training for primary school (Ages 4 – 11 in the UK).
It gives me two questions I guess & I’m wondering what the rest of the hive thinks
1. Is it ok to have a double barrelled surname as a teacher? It seems like a real mouth full to me for the kids to say – it would be Mrs. My Last Name-His Last Name. (My last name is short, 4 letters, his is 9 letters and not easy to spell). It seems so stupid to let a job dictate your name, but with a job where you are called Mrs. all day, it seems fairly important.
2. How do people address you when you hypenate & he doesn’t.
Mr His First His Last and Mrs Your First Your Last-His Last? Or do people just end up saying Mr and Mrs His Last which to a certain extent defeats hypenating?
Bit stuck really!