Post # 1
Hi Everyone –
I have a question for a friend/coworker of mine who didn’t want to sign up for an account. She is really curious about what to do regarding her soon to be last name. She wants to take her husbands last name, which is hyphenated, but she only wants to take part of it (half is a "normal" last name and half is somewhat silly). Is that done? She’s concerned she’ll offend his parents if she uses half of it instead of the entire hyphenated name. I’m going to use a fake name for this example to protect her privacy.
Current name: Jill Jones
Fiances name: John Smith-Pantyhose
Her desired name: Jill Smith
She’s afraid that the right thing to do is take the entire hyphenated last name, and be Jill Smith-Pantyhose.
Would love to know thoughts on this, I’m going to fill her in when I see her Monday morning. Thank you!
Post # 3
That’s tough….I think it would depend on the significance of each of FI’s last names. Is one his mom’s & one his dad’s? If so, then gosh, I would match mine to his so we’d both be The Smith-Pantyhose family. But it could be a case of one being an older family name, but the other name is more commonly used for them so in that instance maybe she could choose which one is more important (and more commonly used by FI & his family).
If I had a hyphenated name, it would be my mum’s & then my dad’s, if I was going to pick one, I would just use my dad’s as it’s more so all of us as a family.
What would her FI prefer she use?
Post # 4
I think names are so personal, you really shouldn’t sign up for one that you don’t like. I mean, it’s your name. It’s like a giant billboard for who you are, and it comes with all sorts of connotations that stick regardless of whether we want them to or not. So no, I don’t think she should take more of his name than she’s comfortable taking.
But happilywaiting asks a good question – what does her fiance prefer? If he’s fine with it, then I’d say full steam ahead. Don’t worry about offending anyone. Besides, parts of hyphenated names have to get dropped eventually somewhere down the line. Otherwise we’d just keep piling them on until our last names are four miles wide.
Post # 5
I am having a similar issue. FH’s last name is something along the line of "Smith-Jones" (2 common last name), but he commonly goes by WindyCityGroom Jones, not WindyCityGroom Smith-Jones. He uses Smith as his middle name, though legally it is part of his last night.
FH hasn’t talked to the Smith side of the family for 10+ years. Even though his name is hyphenated, as is his mothers, I will only be taking Jones, and thankfully, he is planning to change his name to WindyCityGroom Smith (middle name) Jones (last name) once we get married.
I say she should take whatever she is comfortable with, though I am taking Jones because it is FH’s father’s last name and a little more traditional.