- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I just think hyphenated names in general are too long. Who exactly would you be offending if you didnt take both names? I'm not sure how that would work legally tho so I may not be of much help. And I'm assuming that becasue ur FH doesn't like both names, he agrees with you?
I thought i would be offending her in some way since clearly there must be a reason why she chose to hyphenate. All her sister did the same thing too, even though there was a boy to pass on the name. I dont think he would care, but if it would bother her then he would have an issue. So i guess it boils down to asking her in the end.
I should clarify i also dont really want our children having a hyphenated name. So we would be reversing what they did by hyphenating it. I just honestly hate hyphenated names haha!
Maybe its a cultural thing? I've seen a lot of hispanic names that have both parents last names...I'd ask ur FH tho. Maybe he knows why it was hyphenated..Hmmm other than that idk
If HE only uses his dads name then I would only use his dads name. My friends husbans legally changed his name when they got married too. It sounds like maybe your hubby to be would be ok with it?
I'm not a fan of hyphenated names. I think they look obnoxious, being that most of them are so long.
I hyphenated when I got married because I couldn't bear to give up my maiden. Well, let me tell you, I am so over it. No one ever knows what to call me or how to alphabetize it if I have to call in to an office or pharmacy or something. I've started just telling people only his last name, and I'll keep my maiden for formally on paperwork but not try to use it anymore. (We were always going to give our kids only his anyway.) To be honest, taking his name was hard enough; I'd be even more annoyed if I had to take his and his mother's name! And if you're not going to give your kids the hyphen, I don't really think you need it. I like the previous suggestion of him changing his, too, and then you'll match, but obviously, he'd want to check with his mother. Maybe he can take her maiden name as a middle or second middle name if it makes her unhappy? Good luck!
Stick with just his father's last name. No need to further complicate things. If you only want to take his father's, being that's what he goes by anyway, then by all means do what you want! YOU are the one going to be using this name forever, so it should be what YOU want.
Thanks bees! This made me alot more confident that i wasnt being irrational or anything. So i talked to him about it last night and he said it was fine if i only took his fathers, and that it was fine if our children only had his fathers. And to my surprise he said he would change his name too! I really didnt think he would do that. So we will be reversing everything and getting rid of this hyphenated mess.
Yay!
I think whatever he is fine with should be fine with you, so if that's only taking his father's name then go for it.
I hyphenated my name after our wedding, because if I didn't I would have had the exact same name as someone in DH's family which I didn't like. I did it under the presumption that our future children will ONLY have my husband's last name - no need to confuse our children's teachers, friends, and future spouses! I wish I had only taken his name and just dealt with the fact that I was sharing a name with someone, because I'm already sick of signing my uber long name and trying to tell people what my last name is over the phone! Ugh. I won't go through the name change process again, however.
@Amaryllis: Have you run into any problems just using his name for everything besides paperwork? I'm leaning toward starting to do this myself.
Obviously it's up to you and your SO and if you've agreed on it then that's fine. But it might be worth giving his mom a heads up about it? I had a lecturer at college who'd given her kids a hyphenated surname, and when her daughter got to her teens she got sick of the hyphenation and started using just her dad's name. I think the lecturer felt that it was her daughter's prerogative to do that, but it clearly upset her a lot.
ugh, hyphens... thats all I have to say. My hand would get sore just signing checks, no thank you.
To bring another light to the table... how do you feel about your last name? If he doesn't like his hyphenated name becuase it is too long why not have him change to yours! I know its not traditional, some people might not go for it, but it is always an option.
HYPHENATED NAMES ARE LAME AND WEAK. Like George Carlin said "Pick a f**king name already"! lol
It's 2012 for god's sakes what's wrong with some women? perhaps it's the feminist side of me but you must admit that the whoe changing your last name to your husband's father's name is antiquated and silly!!!
why can't husband's change THEIR NAME? You won't see many that do that now will you?
As long as women continue to be subservient to men (the name change exemplifies that again the man is dominant) than women will not ber taken seriously and continue to be treated as submissive OBJECTS THAT ARE ONLY HERE FOR MEN AND THEIR WHIMS.
LIKE I SAID IT'S NO LONGER 1950, IT'S 2012. YOU DON'T NEED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME. KEEP IT AND BE PROUD.
My friend married recently and hyphenated her name. The funny thing is, her name and his name together have a nice ring to them and the hyphenated name sounds like it could be one full name. I told her they should get rid of their original names and create a new hybrid name. And add an umlaut. I think it would be badass.
@abirdword: lol
that's cool. I always felt like the women who hyphenate are either teetering on the fence "hmmmm should I maintain a shred of my independence/identity" or they just can't figure out what to do because our society is still (obviously) very male oriented and dominated.
I cannot recant how many WOMEN have hassled me about keeping my maiden name. Even on the phone when I need to give personal info I get women who sound very puzzled as if I have a screw loose or committed some kind of crime because i don't have the same last name as my hudsband. They have even had the audacity to question it and I find this all very peculiar especially coming from WOMEN. I would think in today's day and age the whole last name tradition thing would start to lose momentum. Guess not! Oh well, like I said I think it would be cool if I ever heard about a MAN changing his last name! Probably would never happen.
@KEPT MAIDEN NAME: It's weird to me that other women would care so much. So what, you kept your maiden name. Bfd. Why would they think it's their business?
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 22 |
| rebwana | 22 |
| Jenlon | 20 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| fishbone | 18 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| imageeksowhat | 3 |
| Cady | 3 |
| Sasha2011 | 2 |
| tenacity | 2 |
| Ms Flamenco | 2 |
| This Time Round | 2 |
| ladybugmommy2010 | 2 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| vmec | 1 |
| vlbee | 1 |
I put this under Relationships because i honestly dont know where else to put it lol.
My S/O has a hyphenated name. Its his mothers name and then his fathers. Its too long and he always introduces himself using his fathers last name. He signs stuff with his fathers name, he has complained that the name is too long, honestly i didnt know he had a hyphenated name until i saw his drivers licence.
I completely agree. I dont understand why it had to be hyphenated for all the children. They are both fairly common named. Lets just call him S/O McDonald-Fairmont.
Anyways when we get married i really have no interest in taking the full last name. Would it be super offensive to only take his fathers name? I'm pretty traditional, and i definitely dont see myself ever wanting the hyphenated name. I also dont see why my children will need to have the hyphenated name. But i really dont want to offend people!
What do you think bees?