Hyphenating- Drop Middle Name?

posted 3 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should I drop my middle name?
    yes : (17 votes)
    21 %
    no : (65 votes)
    79 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I wouldn’t get rid of my middle name. Your parents gave it to you and it’s been a part of who you are your whole life. It’s okay to have a long name!

    Post # 4
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    As someone who has to file away paperwork on people- I loathe hypenated names.  That being said, in my opinion, either drop the middle name and make you maiden name your middle name, or drop your maiden name.

    Post # 6
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    So… I have a question, and it is out of pure curiousity and I’m not trying to change your mind.

    When I took my husband’s name I didn’t feel as though I was loosing my identity, but rather adding wife to my identity.  And I’m not a piece of my husband’s property, but taking his last name has made us a family unit.  I have been thinking over what you said, and the only thing that comes to mind to me that could be misconstrued as becoming one’s property is the ring as it is merely a status symbol showing that you “belong to someone” or are “taken”.

    I am just wondering what is it about changing your last name that makes you (or other women) feel like your loosing your identity or that you become a piece of property?  because it’s not the first time I have heard that- I just sincerely do not understand.

    Post # 7
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I say go ahead and keep your middle name. How often do you use it anyway?

    Post # 8
    Member
    980 posts
    Busy bee

    Keep your middle name. Its not like you use it all the time anyways. And if you don’t have a middle name I think people would be more likely to think your maiden name is your middle name.

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    30313 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m kind of neutral, and can see it either way.  I say, go with your gut and make a game time decision! 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    980 posts
    Busy bee

    @Chelle-Lee:  I’m considering hyphenating as well. I just don’t feel that keeping my maiden name prevents us from becoming a family unit. It just means that I appreciate my past as much as I appreciate my future. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My DH already had a double barrelled name when we married and I just took his like normal so have ended up with one.

    I have a long first name (9 letters) a middle name of 7 letters and the surnames are 3 and 5 letters long.

    When written in full my name is quite long, but then I rarely use my middle name and my first name can be shortened to 3 letters (which I tend to do)

    I would keep your middle name as I don’t think it will make a huge amount of difference.

     

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    15072 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I like your hyphenated name with the middle name, it kind of rolls of the tounge and sounds good together, IMO.

    Post # 13
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t really see the point in dropping your middle name unless you are going to make your maiden name your middle name, which I’ve seen some do, since your last name will be long regardless and you don’t have to list your full name as often.

    My mom has a hyphenated name and she made her middle name legally an initial, so it’s Brittney B Coffey-Taylor, so that’s an idea?

    Post # 14
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    For the record… as this has come up before on WBee

    “Technically”… US Bees do not “officially” change their names in the sense that you also change your Birth Certificate (as is the policy in some other countries)

    US Bees effectively “assume” ** the name of their Husband whether they choose to do so singularily or with a Hyphen.

    So you will forever be in some part… Brittany Blair Coffey as that is what your BC says.

    If you choose to “adopt” Brittany Blair Coffey-Taylor or Brittany Coffey-Taylor on your Govt issued Documents… such as your Passport, Driver’s License etc… then that is up to you which choice you make in leaving in or elimating your Middle Name or your Maiden Surname.

    But in reality… it will not really GO anywhere.

    Altho the Govt WILL WANT YOU TO BE CONSISTENT in what ever you do ultimately choose…

    So, from a traditional viewpoint… even tho many women aren’t aware… you’ve all had in some regards double-barrelled surnames for centuries… (Fathers Surname – Husbands Surname) just that many women didn’t actually use them.  It is only in recent feminine history that acknowledging this and utilizing them has become “a thing”… such as Hillary Rodham Clinton

    But if you look back thru history you’d see it to be quite a pattern for how people referred to women so as to differentiate people with similar names (defined by lineage).

    Here then some examples – Caroline Schermerhorn Astor – Sophia Johnson Vanderbilt – Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy

    ** This is also the reason that US Bees have it so easy going back to their Maiden Names following a Divorce… they just are essentially “dropping” the “assumed” surname, and there is no need for example to go to court and file a legal name change… in the same way you would if you decided you didn’t want to be known as Brittany Blair Coffey any more but would much prefer to be Karen Diane Edwards

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    I didn’t feel like I became my husband’s ‘property’ when I changed my surname to match his. I kept my maiden name as my middle name because I didn’t want to give it up.

    Post # 16
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Why would you drop your middle name?  Plus, I don’t think you can legally do that with Social Security anyway.  Your middle name is an identifier to prevent identity theft.  You don’t have to sign your middle name and most documents only require a middle initial.  the only two documents that would likely show your entire First Middle Maiden-Married name would be your Passport and your Driver’s License.

    Hillary Rodham Clinton’d my name so I go by Beachbride Maiden Married at work and when I introduce myself.  I am waiting for Social Security to approve my name change.  Then my name will legally be: Beachbride (First name) Maiden (Middle name) Married (Last Name).  I found out through research that hyphenating names can cause problems when traveling or going to the doctor so this method allowed me to keep and use my maiden name while also adding on my married name.

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