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I can't really help re: websites to look up nanny prices, but I wanted to say that I hate it when people pass that judgement about cloth diapers and they haven't even used them before! I know a lot of people successfully use cloth diapers with their daycare providers and it is no harder than using disposables for the provider. All you need to provide is a wet bag and cloth diapers with velcro that are easy for the provider to use. They take off the diaper and put it in the wet bag instead of the trash and put on a new one. Done!
It does sound like she has very different ideas from you, but maybe she will come around if you had some to show her in person and explained the process to her. I'd probably also have an open dicussion with her about other things she might differ in opinion about than you like napping, etc.
Good luck!
try www.sittercity.com and www.care.com
Hope they help!
It sounds like she was acting like the 'experienced' mom - teaching the newbie the tricks of the trade. I would perhaps talk to her a later point (maybe in several weeks) and ask if she was serious about not being your nanny over the diapers.
I honestly would be shocked if you'd find someone who wouldn't be a nanny over cloth diapers... but, I suppose they are out there.
Honestly, I've given very little thought to cloth vs disposable, but there is obviously a bigger issue here. While it will be wonderful to have your sister watch the (hypothetical) baby instead of a stranger, the dynamic will be different. She is already a mom and knows what works best for her, and of course will think it will work best for any child in her care. With a nanny, you can say, do it this way and that way, because you are her employer. But with your sister, you, well, can't boss her around as much, to be blunt.
I'd give it a lot of thought before deciding on anything, and think about what is more important to you-- getting final say in things like this-- which will extend to a ton of other things-- is TV ok, how long should thye nap, whatever, or having someone you know and love watching the baby. There are completely valid reasons to go with either.
When we were touring daycares, I made sure to bring some cloth diapers along with me so I could show them to the caregivers before they could possibly say "no". Once I showed them, every daycare I spoke with was on board. Perhaps it would be a similar situation with your SIL.
We use sittercity as well and LOVE IT.
I agree that it sounds like your sister isn't the best idea for a nanny.
Don't get discouraged with all the negative responses about cloth diapers! So many people think it's still square cloths and safety pins. There are lots of options out there, and it's really not bad. Just yesterday I was counting up all the good things about CDing:
We used www.gonannies.com; although I really prefer the layout and features of www.care.com. Some nannies already have their background checks posted on care.com and you can listen to audio recording of their reference checks, which is pretty cool.
@Pelikila: this is what I was going to suggest. Maybe you sister is just intimidated because she doesnt know how easy they can be. Im not even near TTC and Ive already made up my mind that we will be using cloth diapers. I just cant see any reason not to!
Have you thought of maybe getting the super easy velcro all in ones for her to use, its EXACTLY the same as a disposable. Just have her toss it into a wetbag and you take it home. I agree she must be intimadated by it. I am! but i'm also intimadated by disposables one too, I only recently changed my very first one. I better learn before August!
@KWebs: I agree with this. This is more indicative of what her looking after your potential child will be like.
I am assuming that you will be paying her so she should still act like any other nanny but she won't because she's family. Decide now if you're going to have a problem with that later on. Are there other things that she does differently than you would want to when you become a mom?
I worked as a nanny/au pair a few years ago and I got my job through www.greataupair.com
Thanks for all of the replies. I guess I am starting to think it may not be a good idea because I feel that if I'm paying her, I should have say in what diapers my kid uses. If I were hiring a nanny, I'd obviously not hire someone not comfortable with cloth diapers. We have some time because I'm not pregnant yet (hoping we got lucky this month...we'll see in a week :D) but I want to start thinking about how much money childcare is going to run us.
ugh, didn't read everything, but out MIL nannies and does cloth...we just use super simple dipes while MIL watches him (like BG Elementals or Thirsties duo diapers). You usually deal with them the same as sposies except putting in a wetbag instead of a garbage bag...big whoop! Just tell her you will deal with the poopy diapers once you are home with baby for the night.
I'm a part-time nanny, and I'm telling you bluntly...
Your SIL is not the childcare person you want.
Yes, there are benefits to not having "stranger" watch your kids. However, if you hire the right person, it's really slim. Am I related to the kids I nanny for? No, but I love them a ton. That said, "Mom" is mom, and I'm Sutsip. She lets me have a lot of leeway, but I use pretty much the same style of communication she does (which definitely not every person/relative/nanny would- it's waaay different than how I grew up), and follow her example on discipline and other important things. I'm also paid very well (honestly, she often pays me more than I think this type of work is worth.)
It sounds like your SIL is probably a great mom to her kids. That said, if you want to do something different, I'd worry that the diaper thing is just one example of how, when it comes down to it, she might not take your lead as the Mom. Is that type of behavior going to ruin your child and make them incapable of life long-term? No, but it sure will get annoying when Baby spits back "well Auntie so-and-so says..."
Also, I only nanny part-time for one family, but here in DC it's super common to have a "Nanny share" with another family in the neighborhood with a similarly aged baby. I think this is great and can't reccomend it highly enough. Generally the cost of a nanny for one baby will either be a) prohibitively high for the family or b) not really make a living wage for the nanny. Under a Nanny share everyone wins- your child (with the right person) is being cared for more personally and exceptionally well, the families can better afford the cost (say 9/hr instead of 12/13) and your Nanny can actually afford to live comfortably on her $18(or so) an hour.
Good luck!
I think if someone isn't willing to play by your rules then you shouldn't have them watch your kids. Family is great but I have serious ideological parenting differences with my FSILs, FMIL and my own family. About the only person I would trust with my kids on a regular basis is my sister (and of course, Fiance) but she is super close to me.
However, if you're really set on your SIL watching them, I'd try getting the easy All-in-Ones. I just think your sister has a misguided view on cloth diapers like many other people and she might feel a bit intimidated or arrogant that she thinks her way is the only way which doesn't bode well with a childcare provider.
I'm a firm beleiver that for both kids and pets, if someone else is watching them, they should do what the parent/owner wants.
I don't have kids yet (we're going to start TTC pretty soon). I do have pets, and I expect when I have someone watch them that they will follow my instructions with feeding, etc. And likewise, when I watch someone else's kids/pets, I follow their instructions even if I don't necessarily agree with their methods. Their kid or pet, their chocie how it is raised and cared for.
@Piccateer: Hey hon!
So I am interested in this because my sister decided to do cloth diapering, and I am TTC as well. So it got me researching and looking into it.
Anyhow, I just wanted to give an insider's opinion about nanny, it's been my full-time job for the last 4 years so I have a lot of experience with the "employee" side of it, pay and such.
I assume your sister would have accepted a lower price so you didn't have to worry about it.
But a nanny is pretty expensive. I didn't try to be expensive, haha, but price comes based on experience (as with any job), number of kids, type of kids, etc. I started at $5 as a PT nanny for one girl when I was 16. Of course that was the bottom of the totem pole! When I worked as a FT nanny in NY for four kids, I was paid $450/week plus room and board, and in the midwest for one child, I was paid $10/hr+ travel expenses+weekly excursions (trips to children's museum etc) etc.. I would say $10 is starting wage for a baby, especially considering with an infant, you want someone with at least 2 years of experience.
Sometimes if you allow nice benefits it can allow you to cut the cost a little. One family I interviewed with said they'd pay for my health insurance, so I'd be paid a little less, which was fine with me!
One family paid for my car insurance and gas.
You could also offer a gym membership, room and board (if you have the space and are comfortable with it of course), nanny car, etc and all these would help offset the cost a bit - but of course you have to know whether you're comfortable with a live-in nanny or something. The relationship gets very personal and it's really hard to have an employer-employee relationship so you do have to know what you want.
I also suggest having a written contract. This makes it so much easier, ESPECIALLY for the nanny! One family I worked for said so many things when I got hired that sounded great, and none of them came through. They explained the position was 45-50 hours a week, and I was working upwards of 70 hrs/week for months on end, and when I tried to bring it up, they said that was what was expected of me and we had agreed upon. I had no way to prove it wasn't. The contract includes hours worked, vacation/sick time, etc - all those benefits of a regular job.
I used www.care.com, www.nannies4hire.com, www.sittercity.com to get hired. Breed love is a nanny tax agency that takes care of nanny taxes (they have automatic withdrawals from your bank account based on hours worked/rate per hr, do the taxes, and then deposit it into the nanny's bank account - worked great for me!
I hope your sister comes around thought because i agree that's the ideal situation!!
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So we are currently TTC, and naturally, all I can think about is all things baby. When I first read through the cloth diaper thread, I went into it with a "wow they are insane to even think about it!". Ladies, you have completely changed my mind! I have read other blogs and did some research, and it is definitely something I'm interested in doing.
A few days ago I brought it up with my sister in law. She is a stay at home mom with my two nieces, so we always planned on paying her to essentially be a nanny for our future kids because DH and I need to work. She does disposable diapers with her kids. When I mentioned it, she had the typical response of, "Are you crazy? I'd never do it." I asked her if she had researched it at all, and she said she had. I told her well, I think it may be a good option for us. She responded with, "Well I won't be your nanny then. You won't last with cloth diapers any way." I was like, wow seriously? She wouldn't even test it out to make sure she hated it before completely dismissing the idea.
Now I'm sorta irritated because I'd love for her to keep my (hopefully soon conceived) kid, but I don't like the idea that I'd have to bend to how she sees it fit to raise a kid. I need to go back to work, so I'd rather she watch the baby instead of a daycare, but I fear this would only be the beginning of differing opinions.
Is there a website to look up pricing / ratings of local nannies? Also, would this bother you if you were in a similar situation?