Hypothetical: Would you let your child?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: What would you do?
    Let your child keep the gift : (88 votes)
    76 %
    Make your child return it : (16 votes)
    14 %
    Other (please explain) : (12 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’d let the kid keep it.  I’d probably call the parents to make sure it was a sanctioned gift, though.  Also not stolen.  Also why on earth would anyone spend thousands of dollars on a purse?

    Post # 3
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    peachacid:  +1

    Definitely would call the parents and make sure this was a sanctioned gift, not something the kid swiped from their parents (or a store ) because they wanted to impress your kid. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    4024 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Christy42213:  If it was truly given in gift form then yes, though I do agree with PP. I would call parents and make sure it was given knowingly (and not just the kid saying “Here, my mom doesn’t use this anymore..take it!”) and then make sure to send a thank you card from my kid to them/their child to show appreciation. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    As a mother myself (though I’ve never been in that situation), I’d let her keep it. I think it would break her heart for me to take away a gift someone else gave. Also, returning a gift can be an insult. I’d just make sure she took good care of it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    13004 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    How old is the child, does it know the value of the bag?  If yes, then it needs to be returned.  If no, she can keep it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Like most others here, I’d call the parents first. I’d find out the origin of the gift (ie was it purchased specifically for my child? was it a hand me down) and the purpose (to impress? pity? or just a genuine gift because they thought the child woudl like it?). If it all seemed benign, I’d let the child keep it. If there was something weird about the situation I’d have her return it or donate it. I’d also have a discussion with the other parent about expectations as far as reciprocation, the nature of the friendship, what types of gifts might be weird, etc.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6026 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Assuming the gift was legit, I’d make the child do some sort of volunteer work to make sure they understood the value of the gift. Like if it was a $500 gift, I’d make them do 2 full days of volunteering over a weekend and explain that someone on a minimum wage would have to work almost 5 weekends to get $500. Make sure they understand what it takes to put that gift in their hands.

    Post # 9
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve always been taught to graciously accept gifts and send prompt thank you notes. I will teach my (future) kids the same. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Assuming it’s legit, I would use the old saying of “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”. Meaning I would be more concerned with teaching them to be gracious of any gift, large or small, and  being a grateful receiver. Like a PP said, returning a gift could also be insulting. 

     

    Also, I would make them write a handwritten thank you note.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Horseradish:  But that’s not necessarily what it took to get that gift.  Why should your kid suffer through that because someone else is fortunate enough to have the money to give a gift like that? Think about a casual gift you might give someone…I assume anyone who’s giving away expensive gifts, casually, feels about that gift the way you might about a pencil or something.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    42469 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would make them return it. A gift of that value is completely inappropriate. Not only does my child need to learn that, but the giver also needs to learn the same lesson.

    Post # 14
    Member
    8705 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I was very poor growing up. When I went to high school there were a lot of wealthy families there… and when I say wealthy, I mean they have more money than I could ever imagine.<br /><br />I recieved a lot of very expensive gifts from my friends over the years. I got my first one when I was maybe 15 or 16 and it was a train case full of very expensive brand new makeup. I never recieved anything like a designer bag (Not my thing) but I kept all of them. I would let my children keep it.. why wouldn’t I? It was a gift.

    <br />ETA: This is provided that the item is not stolen or obtained by another shady means. Like taken from a family member or something.

    Post # 15
    Member
    13004 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Christy42213:  If they are younger, then it’s just a purse.  I’d tell them it’s “nice” and they need to take care of it though.  But if they are older and know it’s worth, they need to work and earn nice things and truely understand the value and what it takes to buy something like that.   I don’t want them to think that things like that are just going to be handed to them. 

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors