(Closed) “Hypothetically” speaking…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
    Keep actively trying to work on your marriage, even though he doesn't want to : (11 votes)
    3 %
    Give it time and see how things develop : (12 votes)
    3 %
    Give it time simply because you can't deal with a divorce right now : (22 votes)
    6 %
    File the paperwork as soon as possible : (229 votes)
    66 %
    Other : (13 votes)
    4 %
    Make him be the one to file the paperwork, out of spite : (16 votes)
    5 %
    Call his mother, pastor and best friend whose wife left him for another man 5 months ago and tattle : (43 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Get proof, take it to a divorce attorney and clean him out!  Sorry, that may sound harsh if this really isn’t a hypothetical..that’s outrageous.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I would leave him.  I would never force it or even want to stay around with how much that would hurt.  I would want to go ahead and go through the process of dealing with it so I could move on. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    does this person have children?

    Post # 6
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Ummm… sounds to me like he already made a decision.

    Post # 8
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would leave him. ASAP. I am actually not sure why this is even a question… he has made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with the marriage anymore. You should move on for your own sanity. I’m sorry that this is happening hypothetically.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @QuietOne: as this ever happened before? as he ever tried to leave before? and is he abusive? emotionally, verbally, or physcially?

    Post # 10
    Member
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I firmly believe in trying to make a marriage work, but for this hypothetical husband to flat out say he is cheating and does not care to work on the marriage pretty much says it all. The hypothetical wife should move on and find someone who will treat her right. I would definitely wish this hypothetical wife the best and strength during what will be a difficult time, but it will be worth it in the end. Better to leave now than try to salvage that total disrespect only to find out later that it didn’t work, which, frankly, with an attitude like his, I don’t think it would work. Hypothetical hugs.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would file the paperwork. If he said he is not interested in working on the marriage there is nothing left to do. Dragging on a one sided relationship will only hurt you in the end.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Other. You shouldn’t be headed straight to the lawyers office. You need to gather support first. Talk to your parents, his, and get help from family and friends to help you and support you. You should not be alone during this time.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5892 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    please don’t call his pastor and mother.  be the adult in this horrible situation he put you in (i’m beyond sorry), get out with your dignity, and move on before you invest any more of yourself into this man.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @QuietOne: ok. you don’t have to do anything right now. I would wait to see what happens. I wouldn’t contact him either even though I know that will be tough. Give him his space and see what comes of this. 6 weeks isn’t that long, however, is your marriage date correct? Have you only been married since January?

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