I absolutely hated my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh my goodness, you poor thing. I don’t think you’re being entitled at all. I would have been a ball of frustration the entire day. 🙁

At least you got married to the man you love!

Post # 4
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

You didn’t say how long ago your wedding was, so I’m assuming it was 4 years ago since you said that’s when you were a member of the Bee. Four years is a long time to be feeling this bitter. I think it’s time to get it go. Clearly your dad made a mess out of the whole thing, and there’s nothing you can do at this point except try to make peace with it. It seems like you have a very complicated relationship with your dad – you gave him complete control and let him walk all over you, yet you are extremely resentful still 4 years later. Perhaps counseling can help you let go of these feelings. Have a vow renewal on your 5 year anniversary so you can replace these bad memories with great ones.

Post # 5
Member
8047 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well you let Dad do it Dads way (because it was Dads $$). Makes sense and happens to a lot of brides but not shocking that his wedding vision is not yours!

You should throw a vow renewal and anniversary party one day. Eventually youll laugh about when you were so young and Dad through you a very Dad-like wedding.

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

EllasGrace20:  You’re definitely not selfish, I just feel concerned that you’re holding onto it for so long, but it sounds like you have a good grasp on things. I’m sorry therapy hasn’t worked for you, but don’t give up on it! Definitely go for that vow renewal girl!

Post # 8
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee

Wow everything you wrote sounds terrible.  I would have been mortified and super stressed out if I were in your shoes!  But then again, I hate to say it but this usually happens if you are a very young couple getting married and your parents are footing the bill.

If I were you, I would chalk that up to a huge learning lesson and know that next time, I would NOT involve your parents in any planning unless you absolutely needed their help. 

And definitely, have a re-do of your wedding!  I would highly encourage you to do a intimate DW somewhere just the two of you and have the ceremony, your dress, photography, etc. just the way you and your DH would like. 

Other then that, your wedding sounded like it was NOT guest friendly — esp the bad smell at the reception site – that’s terrible!  Definitely a re-do is in order!

Post # 9
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

Wow! You poor thing! I hope someday you can have a vow renewal and do it your way!

Post # 10
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

I think you have a great attitude considering all that happened. I don’t think I would have been as gracious 😛

I’m sorry this happened. Take a trip with your husband and renew your vows in your own way!

Post # 12
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

EllasGrace20:  I have thought about doing a vow renewal. On a beach somewhere with my closest friends.<br /><br />I think you should 100% do this, you deserve it. And buy and wear a beautiful dress for it too 🙂 What a hot mess! 

Post # 13
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

EllasGrace20:  It sounds like most, if not all, of this stems from poor communication. I’m sorry you had to have your wedding go down like this but the best part is, you are married with a cute kiddo and I’m sure you’ll never do this to him when his time comes.

 

Post # 14
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

EllasGrace20:  I don’t think you are being selfish. And I’m sure that after 4 years it’s hard to let it all go since your dad is STILL bringing up– he’s STILL making it about HIM.

You sound like a really sweet person and deserve a beautiful wedding- cheap or not cheap. I’m with other PPs when I suggest doing a vow renewal, but doing it your way and with your own money. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Wow. Your dad is a major prick. 

 

It doesn’t sound like he spent more than about $2000 on a party (generous estimate as I don’t know how many people he had to buy food for) that was more about his friends than your wedding, and yet you are supposed to be grateful.  Normally I don’t totally get the idea of a vow renewal party… But this is definitely the time for it!!  screw what your parents think. And don’t let them pay for it.

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