- 3 years ago
Oh goodness I know I am going to get flamed. Bare with me this is LONG. But amusing!!! =)
Just to clarify- I love my husband. The GOAL of that day was accomplished and I know that is what matters. I am not a spoiled brat. Heck, I think buying a clearenced shirt on a rack at Target is spoiling myself. So please don’t get the impression I am on some high horse. I’m really really not. I’m just really, really hurt by my wedding day.
First off I know this says this is my first post. It is most definetily not. See I was an active member 4 years ago. I think I got up to “Hostess Bee” Status?? I could be wrong but anyways, my FI and I were quite young, 21 and 22. We already had a 2 year old little boy at that time and we wanted to make our little family official by finally getting married. We were young, had no money but determined to have the best, intimate cheap wedding there ever was.
That’s when my dad hijacked the whole entire thing. My parents just kind of took on the role of throwing us the wedding and foot the bill for alot of it. I was beyond thankful. One more thing before I get into more. My parents are financially able to do this. This wedding was not a big strain for them. In Janurary we decided on a late May wedding. My mom wasnt the excited Mother of the Bride kind. She wanted almost nothing to do with any of it.
The Dress- My mom did take me wedding dress shopping and we found a beautiful dress. I was reluctant because it was $900. She loved it too and said “Yes this is the dress”. She put a down payment on and all was well. That was until my dad found out. He made me call up the bridal shop cancel the order and find a new dress. I was sad but I knew it was just another white dress. There are thousands more like it. We went to a discount bridal store where I found another dress. It wasn’t as grand, heavy or “princess” like but I still felt beautiful. The best part was it was only $400!! We ordered it and it was due in the store a month before the wedding. Fast forward to a month before the wedding- I find out the shop NEVER ordered my dress!!!! I tried on my dress TWO days before my wedding for the first time. It was 3 sizes too big and about 4 inches too long.
The Reception Venue- My dad searched high and low for the best “deal” in town. We found a charming but old resturant on a little lake. We were going to have drinks, dancing and dinner. It wasn’t what I had in my head but I was happy. After all I needed to just be greatful and keep a smile on my face. Although my husband could barely stand since his head almost hit the ceiling. (He’s only 6ft) I knew we could make it work. I thought all was well until 5 weeks before the wedding the restuarant called and said they are cancelling our reception. My dad never signed a contract or gave them any kind of down payment. We had already sent out the wedding invites. And that brings us to…..
The wedding invites- I bought them myself at a craft store on sale for $19.99 a box! Cha Ching!! I was going to have them professionally printed but my dad insisted on doing them himself at home. I have him all of them and we got about 10 good invites out of the whole bunch. Someone he botched them ALL up. So we went to Hallmark, the local grocery store and anywhere that sold cheap cheap invites as a back up.
The church- This is one thing I DID love about my wedding. My husband and I met in the same church, our son was blessed in that same church and then we married there. Our pastor married us for free (which my dad loved) and did pre marital counseling sessions. We had no decorations, no pamphlets describing our love story. But I will never forget the smile on my husbands face when I was walking down the aisle. I know this is what it was ultimately about.
The NEW reception venue- Was in a cabin known as the “Picnick Lodge” of a campground. It was $80 dollars to rent so my dad was sold. Everyone sat at log tables on log benches which I admit was kinda cool but yet…kinda not. It was closed up all winter so it smelled really, really bad. Alot of people went out side to eat. I’m not sure if it was because of the smell or that we really exceeded the amount of people allowed. Everyone had to use campground bathrooms on the otherside of the campground. Yeah…yuck. That brings me to….
Guest List!- This was mostly my parents friends. I invited a few close friend but I remember hugging SO MANY people I had no clue who they were. My husbands family is estranged from us and he had not a single person there on his side. I felt so bad for him. He had one childhood best friend who to this day I still respect so very much for coming. Other than that there were so many others I wish could of been there but my parents didnt invite.
Photographer- Oh this gets good. My dad does photography on the side. At this time he was just starting. He didnt have any weddings under his belt yet. He decided he was going to play photographer too. Since he had to walk me down the aisle he called up on another new photographer friend to take wedding pics for free. I still have yet to see any of these pictures. My dad said they were all bad so he deleted them. I have no professional pics with my husband, my family or getting married. At the reception my dad tried taking pics in between talking to his friends. In the mean time his camara was just passed around to those who wanted to snap a pic.
PlaceSettings- A family friend decided to chip in a give us a HUGE discount on all our table ware, linens and servers. I was estatic!!! She was a close family friend and really wanted to help out. My dad told her that to be cheaper he wanted us to wash all the silverware after the wedding and to cut out her servers all together. Two days before the wedding she told him that she would be losing money and this just could not work. Two days before the wedding we are without everything to serve our guests. My husband and I were up until 3 am the day of our wedding wrapping plastic forks in napkins in my parents living room while my parents were camping at our reception site with friends.
Food- We were blessed to have a caterer in the family. My parents met with her one night and didn’t bother to invite me. They picked out meatless pasta, salad and bread. The caterer said that you should have some meat. So my dad picked fried rice with the square bits of chicken. Just last year my caterer admitted that she was so scared I was going to hate my food. I really didn’t. It was very good. It just wasn’t what I would serve people who drove across state to be there. My cake was also done by a family friend of my parents who didn’t charge us a dime for it. I am so thankful for her. It was a small cake but it did the job. We had no alcohol because my dad didn’t want to buy it. Not even wine. We had no toasts from anyone either. People started leaving an hour into the reception.
DJ- Another one of my dads friends played DJ. He was such a friendly man and I am so very thankful he didnt charge us either. My dad tried taking over his job too. My dad grabbed the microphone and tried to do all the anouncments. It was awkward. But you get what you pay for right? The song for our first dance skipped. It was actually the first time my husband and I ever danced together. My dad tried getting us to pick a different first dance song. One that him and my mom liked instead. I had never heard of it before. I did stand my ground on that one. My husband and I had a special song and damn it we were going to use that.
Flowers- I had $30 dollars to get all my flowers. We did not have boutinears (I know I butchered that word) 😉 I bought beautiful gerber daisies at a costco like place.
The Reception- People started to leave an hour into it. It was just plain awkward. Some awesome people stayed and tried to make the best of it. I was outside talking to people around 8pm when I saw the DJ carrying out a speaker. I guess my dad said that the party was over and it’s time for everyone to go home. I thought WTH?! Really?! I was so embarressed. Later on I heard some people where still trying to show up to the reception to find an empty venue.
Wedding night!!- This is where is gets good right?! Wrong. My husband and I didn’t have enough money for a honeymoon and I never even thought of our wedding night from all the stress of planning. My dad announced to pretty much everyone at the reception that they would not be watching our son for our wedding night. That our son is to go with us while my mom and him camped for the weekend with friends. We spent our wedding night in my childhood bedroom with our son.
My dad still complains on how expensive our wedding was. Even though so much was GIVEN TO US FOR FREE. I will always be thankful for the kind hearts who donated time, money and heart to help us out. My dad did say he took out a loan for the wedding but ironicly two weeks before the wedding he bought a truck. Let me finish this by saying I’m not disappointed in a cheap wedding. I’m disappointed in how it was carried out. I felt so jipt. All I wanted was my parents to do what they could if anything at all. If that meant a beautiful wedding/cookout for 30 people on the beach, I would have done it in a heart beat. I just wanted honesty. I have thought about doing a vow renewal. On a beach somewhere with my closest friends. You would think I would just be “over it” but I feel like theres more to my feelings. I feel like maybe this is about more then my wedding day. I feel like I just needed to vent =( Thank you if you have read ALL of this!! You’re pretty awesome =)