- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
I feel sick, and nervous and really angry.
I’m getting married in 9 days, this time is supposed to be happy, but instead it seems like it has been plagued with sadness! I usually consider myself to be a very lucky, happy, successful person. I usually feel super blessed to have such an amazing life, right now though I feel like I’m cursed.
On the 28th, my horse died. She was my baby, and I’m still pretty sad about it, but given that it has only been a few weeks I think I’m doing pretty well. I really miss her though and it’s been pretty tough. We had her brought home and buried her under a big tree, so I can go and sit with her. It ended up costing us quite a bit of money to try and save her, then on top of that we had to pay a removalist to bring her home, so that has been an extra kick in the stomach, especially because all our vendor payments are due like, now.
Then, FI’s car had a stick go through the sump, which is ridiculous because there is only a small section underneath not covered by bash plates, and the stick managed to get in there and cost us a decent amount to get that fixed, too.
Then, to top it all off, my mum calls me today and tells me my nan is dying. Apparently she has an internal bleed, needs a transfusion but doesn’t want one. They said it’s a small bleed and she probably has a couple of weeks left.
I’m so angry! Not at her, I think people should be able to choose if/when they die, but I am SO angry at the situation! Not only have I just lost one of my babies, but now my nan is dying too- and all within 3 weeks of our wedding. I must have done something really horrible to piss off the universe.
Oh, there’s more. It’s nowhere near as bad as my nan or horse dying, but I don’t know what the fuck to do. We’ve paid for a pretty big chunk of our honeymoon, it’s all non-refundable and now we probably won’t be able to go.
Why couldn’t I just have normal bride dramas, like, my veil has gone missing or something like that?
Oh, one of our co-workers got murdered on Christmas and a guy I used to be friends with is in jail for armed robbery too. It has nothing to do with anything, really, but I can’t help feeling like anyone associated with me is doomed at the moment.
FI has been amazing through this. He tried so hard to save my horse, he even had his leg pinned underneath her at one point, and then kept her up and walking around for a couple of hours until the vet finally arrived (that was REALLY hard to do), drove her to the equine hospital, told me that no matter what it cost we would try and save her if it was in her best interests (colic surgery can be pretty expensive, so it was nice that he was supportive about the possibility of spending 10k to save a retired, but amazing old mare without a guarantee that it would work) and he said just before that he doesn’t mind if we can’t go on the honeymoon. I’m marrying a really good person.