(Closed) I admit it…I’m kind of jealous.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think that babies and weddings are two completely separate life altering experiences.  So people will be joyous for your event, please don’t worry about that!

Do you think this was just a timing issue?  Could you give them some more notice?  Perhaps your Fiance could suggest to his mother that she be more involved in the process?  Could his mother be afraid of stepping on your toes about wedding-related things?

EDIT: I wanted to add that sometimes I feel like my Future Mother-In-Law favors a particular one of her three children simply b/c that child has given her grandbabies.  It’s irrational on my part to think that.  It’s a grandchild and doting on him is fun for grandparents.  Please try to make more arrangements far in advance to get together with your Future Mother-In-Law.  I think it’ll help a lot.

Post # 4
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Have you always been otherwise close to them or had the feeling like they were like second parents? I can’t say for sure but it would seem that thoughts and actions about a wedding by a parent would be different for a daughter than a son. 

I would imagine if I have a daughter I will day dream about her wedding from the start and I probably wouldn’t do the same for my son no matter how much I love my FDIL.  So I can see why they might not be as excited about the planning and the details.  Assuming they haven’t been like second parents. 

Post # 5
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. Keep in mind, however, that Future Sister-In-Law is her daughter, and while you are her FDIL and I’m sure she loves you and your Fiance, it’s not going to be quite the same as her daughter that she’s raised from birth. As PP said, perhaps you or your Fiance could suggest that you’d love for her/them to be more active in helping you plan the wedding? Maybe they don’t realize that you want them to be a huge part of it. My Future Sister-In-Law didn’t expect to do anything to help me but was thrilled when I asked her, so it could just be miscommunication.

Also, I think it could just be timing. Future Sister-In-Law is moving through life stages- she had her wedding and now she has her baby, so Future Mother-In-Law has gotten to do the exciting wedding planning, and is now getting to be with her daughter as she becomes a mom. Different experiences, but since she has recently planned a wedding, it could be the excitement of the next stage in life. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable in being a little jealous, but I think looking at it from that perspective may help you see where Future In-Laws are at.

Post # 6
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@galloway111: I co-sign everything she said. Just try to find some support outside of your Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 8
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Wonderstruck: That’s what we’re all here for! It’s your wedding and your style is different than theirs, so what? I’m sure they’ll be so excited for you on your wedding day they’ll forget all the stuff they thought was silly.

And if you’re concerned about the rehearsal dinner, you could always get started- mention a restaurant you’d love to have it at or say something about how a Bridesmaid or Best Man asked where it would be and you were wondering if she’d had any ideas?

Wedding planning is stressful enough, so enjoy yourself and try not to stress any more than necessary 🙂

Post # 9
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I get this way too sometimes, my boyfriend’s brother is getting married in February and I’ll admit, I’ll let the green-eyed monster get the best of me every so often. Just focus on the great stuff, like you’re mom, your dress, your FI! You’re wedding will be great, nobody’s opinion about that matters more than yours!!

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