I always judged people who rehired their pets until I was in that same situation

posted 2 months ago in Pets
Post # 3
Member
6829 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I had to rehome my dog a few years ago. I was lucky that my SIL (brother’s wife) absolutely adored him, was thrilled to take him, and had a better living situation for him. I get picture updates all the time and I get to see him when we are both visiting my parents.

I’m sure people judged me for it, but you know what? It’s so much better for him and he’s very happy. You are making a sacrifice for him and giving him a better home that you can provide. No one should judge you for that.

I’m sorry you are in this situation but it will all work out.

Post # 4
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have you tried a specialist? A trainer? Someone who works with dogs and could offer some insight? While I understand your frustration, from your OP, it doesn’t sound like you’ve exhausted all options first. 

Post # 6
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

Just a note: you say you adopted him? If it was from a rescue, you may want to give them a call and explain the situation. Some rescues prefer to take the animal back and rehome it themselves. I work with a cat rescue where part of the contract actually states that if you need to rehome the animal, you must contact them.

No judging, I get, things happen.

Post # 8
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I completely understand this. You’re definitely doing the right thing, bee!It matters that each dog finds the right family for them.

FH and I rescued a 2nd dog last year (I’ve had my other rescue for about 5 years now) and after about 6 months, made the decision to rehome her. Like your dog, some of her issues/personality was misrepresented to us. That combined with her and our other dog not meshing (their energy levels, play styles, basically everything were polar opposites despite them being the same breed) made it just not able to work for us. The family we found for her was just beyond perfect for her, though! I’m friends with them on FB and it makes me so happy to see her thriving. Sometimes you just don’t have the time/resources necessary to help a rescue in the way that they need to be helped. Being able to recognize that, rather than just plowing on trying to force it to work, is admirable IMO.

Post # 9
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I understand that this must be so hard for you, Bee! You’re right, sometimes we have to make decisions that are in the best interests of the pet – and there is nothing wrong with this!

We adopted our cat from my SIL a few years ago. They decided to build their dream house but, in order to afford it, they had to sell their home and move into a rental. There wasn’t much available in the area, so the only thing they could get was a unit with a tiny backyard. There were a lot of other cats in the area, so their cat tended to stay indoors and just looked downright miserable. He started acting out in response to this (ie using the couch as a scratching post, which he had never done before in his 6 years of life). When my SIL mentioned that they might have to rehome him, we offered to take him. She cried when she dropped him off. She comes to visit him and asks about him all the time – she still gets a little sad, but said he is so much happier at our house that she couldn’t imagine ever asking for him back (due to issues with their build, they are still in the rental and won’t be in their new home until around Christmas).

Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I had to rehome my two cats. We adopted a dog who has separation anxiety, not as bad as yours though. But we knew adopting another dog would help her as she wouldn’t be alone during the day and she loves other dogs. We were right and she is a lot better with us having another dog. However, the new dog is not good with cats. Between that and my fiance being allergic to cats we had to make the super difficult decision to rehome them. I was like you and judged people who rehomed their pets before I had to do it myself. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But it worked out in the end, the cats found new homes and our dog is doing a lot better with another dog. The new dog is also one with a few behavior and health issues so we rescued him too really. It’s hard, but life isn’t perfect and sometimes you have to make hard decisions.

Post # 11
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

How old was the dog when you got him? What breed is he? That’s so unusual for him to have separation anxiety after a year. I have a Maltese mix and they are prone to separation anxiety as well so I understand. But I got him at 10 weeks so I was able to crate train and teach him that when I leave I will come back although that was definitely a ptocess. If you try drugs, that doesn’t mean that he will be on them for life. It could help him transition to healthier behavior in general so that eventually he is not dependent on any drugs. Try to get a 2nd opinion from another vet or trainer because separation anxiety can usually be un-taught in dogs. But if you don’t have the time/ resources I definitely understand and you should not beat yourself up when you are actively looking for a better home for the pup. It is not like you’re abandoning him to a shelter where he risks being euthenized. 

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

becomingmichi :  I know you said you’ve used behaviorists and the like, but there are SO many options. Can you not continue work with a behaviorist or trainer? I’ve worked with (and fostered, and adopted) dogs with the severest of separation anxiety and we’ve been able to work with them with diligent care and training so they could be happy in our home. I legitimately know no dogs in my 10 years of professional animal welfare experience that could not overcome this kind of anxiety. Medication is also a totally viable option. It’s the same as if a human were overcome with anxiety; go through therapy, and sometimes you need medication as well.

I really hope you can try to figure out a solution within your home as it seems you’re really bonded and committed to your pet. 

Post # 13
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

Hey Bee,

i went through this exactly, we had a dog with very bad separation anxiety. He also tried to hurt him self when put in a crate and became so destructive that we couldn’t leave him alone. The only thing that worked was desensitization training. 

‘He was one of the hardest pets I have owned. I loved him so much but at the same time would get so upset every time he destroyed something. It was stressful coming home every day because I was never sure what I would find. He had been rehomed twice already so we stuck it out but I understand how you are feeling right now. I have been there. It is hard when you adopt a Rescue because you know they have not had the best start in life and just want to give them the best you can. 

Feel free to private message me if you want to talk, my thoughts will be with you

Post # 14
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You say you’ve looked into doggie daycare – is your pup more comfortable with another dog? Have you tried leaving him with another dog?

A lot of dogs do better when there are other dogs around, would you consider getting him a buddy?

Sorry you’re going through this 🙁

Post # 15
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

becomingmichi :  how much exercise is he getting? I know that seems like a random question, but if he’s young and high energy, more exercise can help manage a lot of behavioral issues. 

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