(Closed) I am a bad person and I know this (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t see anything selfish in those three things. Honestly, at this point, since you’re already married, I would tell him you’re buying yourself a ring and see how he responds. If he dosen’t like it, he better get to the store! Sorry for all your frustrations. I thik they’re warranted, though!

Post # 4
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

#2 just sucks regardless. No harm in being upset about that! As for #1 and #3… it sounds like you really have a problem with the way you came to be engaged (without proposal or ring) and never got over it. I would be totally pissed if I were you too. In fact– I probably never would have married my husband if he hadn’t proposed unless there was some EXCELLENT reason for it. But it does get you into a sticky situation because an engagement ring doesn’t really mean as much if you buy it for yourself (or at least… it wouldn’t to me). You want the ring to be a simple of HIS love. Not just your style. So if you hurrang him into buying it for you… it kind of defeats the purpose. Which makes him kind of an ass for putting you in this position!! Have you had a conversation with him about how you feel about him getting you a ring and how important it is to you? If he understands this and if you two can afford it and if he’s still unwilling to do it then I think you have bigger problems than a ring. 

Post # 5
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hoeny, honey, honey…….. Take your man to the store where you want to purchase your ring, and buy it!  I wanted a princess cut white gold band, he had given me an old engagement ring which was nice, but not what i wanted any more.  And when he proposed, it was only after me telling him we better get engaged or else, basically.  Men don’t really care about the romance and the ring the way we do.  It was nearing my birthday and I had dropped hint after hint after hint and nothing, so we went into the jewelry store, I found the ring I wanted, and bought it my damn self!

 

I love the ring, I know my fiance loves me, they are just STUPID! 

Go drag his ass to the jewelry store and purchase the ring girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You are not a bad person. ((hugs))

Post # 7
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re married. Purchase your own ring. I know it sucks not coming from him, but why the hell not. I’m assuming you both share a joint checking account or something, so it would still be like “him” buying you the ring 🙂 🙂 🙂

You’re not being a selfish bitch in my opinion — we all have our days!

Good Luck!

Post # 8
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Is he just yanking your chain by getting you all worked up so he can surprise you?  Or is he just being cruel describing rings he refuses to buy?  If it is the latter, you should insist that he stop torturing you.  That is just mean.  And then inform him that since you are handling the finances (and you can “more than afford it”) you will be buying the ering for yourself and he can consider it his anniversary gift to you.  

Just to make you feel better, DHs step mom never even got a wedding band. (Something about rings only mean something if you let them.)  She eventually went out and bought her own wedding band.  FIL still doesn’t wear a band.  

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry but i actually agree with your husband about the e-ring not being really necessary now that you are married. like pp have said if you really want just buy it yourself, but personally I would just 4get about it, get a really nice diamond wedding band and move on.

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@bells: I agree with this. You should have brought this up BEFORE you got married.

Post # 12
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

if an e-ring is all that important to you, why did you get married without one?

Post # 14
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Penguingal06:

No it dosen’t. And you say he can afford one now and that’s why you’re frustrated.

Post # 15
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

that doesn’t make you a bad person, don’t be so hard on yourself!  Everyone has wants and needs, you and him need to realize that.

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