I am a glutton for punishment

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@AngryBee21:  oh hun i know this is hurting you so much at the moment but you have to let this man go. I appreciate you have kids together and so need to have some contact but thats really the only thing you and him should be discussing.

Being civil for the sake of the kids and wanting to know if he has been out,checking his voice mails,asking him why he is talking to her……..well,thats not about the kids is it.

And all the answers are hurting you (understandably)

As much as you still love him,he cheated on you before you got married, you know he is not behaving as a husband should and you are separated now so need to create distance regarding your personal lives

Dont ask him what he has been up to. Dont check his voice mail. Dont mention the f**k buddy. ONLY discuss the kids

And take care of yourself and your children. read, meet your friends, start forging your new life and leave that douchebag on the outskirts of your life

good luck to you

 

Post # 4
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

He is in your past. It shouldn’t matter who he is sleeping with or who his roommate is or where he goes. None of that is your business, no more than it is his business who you date now.

Post # 5
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Horseradish:  +1

He’s not hurting you, you’re hurting yourself. Who he’s having sex with…wth does that have to with the kids. It doesnt.  Stop checking is voicemail.  get a hobby or some outside intrests rather sitting around wasting thoughts and energy on someone who isnt interested in you. If its about the kids, leave it at that.

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Listen, I get that you’re hurting…and when we hurt we sometimes act a little….well, crazy. But lady, you need to reign it in. You can’t be doing shit like hacking his voicemail. That’s illegal most places. You need to worry about your kids, and helping them heal , because watching you two behave this way is not good for them. I would really strongly urge you to look into some kind od individual counselling to help you let this man, and this behaviour go. They’re both toxic.

Post # 9
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@AngryBee21:  He is manipulating you and you are allowing it in the hope of things working out. You are going to need to muster up all your strength to stop this cycle

He says if he doesnt get sex everday you will lose him……you already have lost him and good job too,he sounds a real winner…..said no one ever

This will go on until he does in fact meet someone else,then you are not going to see his butt for dust.You will hurt far more when that happens.

protect yourself like you would your children and point blank refuse to enable his behaviour

 

Post # 10
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He has absolutely no right to know what you’re doing,  and you,  my dear, have absolutely no business sleeping with this sorry excuse for a man. If he doesn’t get sex every day he’s gone? Good friggin riddance. I don’t know whether you have boys or girls, but I’m going to guess you don’t want your sons growing up to think this is an acceptable way to treat women,  or your daughters thinking this is how they should be treated.  You need to be the responsible parent here  because it’s quite clear he won’t.  I know that is far more easier said then done, but they really need you to find that strength.  We both know they don’t deserve to grow up watching this crap between you two.

Post # 12
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why are you continuing to sleep with him, do everything for him, and let him abuse you?  His actions indicate he has no respect or love for you, in any way, shape or form.

Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Even though you said you wanted to work things out for your kids I think it will be much better for them to be in a healthy environment even if that means having divorced parents. Even though you think you are putting on a brave face for your children they pick up on more things than you think, so even though they probably don’t understand what’s going on they can definitely tell that something is wrong. Right now, you really need to let this guy go. If communicating with him and seeing him hurts you and makes you think “what if” then find someone else to plan and execute drop offs and pick ups of your children if possible. I would also tell him that you won’t be doing multiple pick ups and drop offs during a weekend. If he wants to see his kids he better be with them during the days that he is given with them. If he wants to go out and party then they should be staying with you. You definitely don’t need to be with this guy because NO guy NEEDS to have sex every night unless they have a problem. If he wanted to make things work with you he would be waiting for you and keeping things in his pants. I definitely agree that it is more than likely that he has been at least talking to these other girls before you guys separated.

Post # 14
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry hunny, but it’s hard to have sympathy when you know you are allowing him to be an asshole to you. Stop sleeping with him, stop rushing to him when he calls, stop being his wife – you aren’t anymore. 

And ps, if you DON’T collect child support, that is craziness in my mind, they are his kids too, unless you have joint custody (doesn’t sound like it), he HAS to help pay for them. You are doing your kids a disservice. 

Have some self respect and run, don’t walk, away from this man.

Post # 15
Member
817 posts
Busy bee

This is so sad.  You’re stuck in a vicious cycle because you still care about him.  Sweetheart, he doesn’t care about you.  He may say he does, but do you really think that a man who really loves you would treat you this way?

Please respect yourself enough to know that you do NOT deserve this treatment.  Don’t sleep with him anymore; I’m sure it doesn’t make you feel any better afterwards, especially since he’ll just sleep with someone else right after you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Stay strong for your children and know that you deserve better.

Post # 16
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t have sympathy for you, but I do have advice.. Stop sleeping with him and being his doormat, hes not making love to you, he’s fucking you because he can. 

Collect child support for the sake of your children and move on.

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