Post # 1
OK this is a legitimate question…
I’m a prude. It’s who I am, plain and simple. I’m wondering why this is such a negative thing? My husband likes this about me, I like this about me, so why is it all of a sudden such a bad thing to be a prude? I don’t judge others for their belief system but I juse see hypocricy. I see people saying “Lighten up, stop being judgemental, let them be who they are” etc etc which is all fine and all but why can’t a prude stay a prude if others can stay the way they are? Why is being a prude such a big deal?
Sometimes it’s like I’m back in highschool and instead of being labeled “nerd” or something I’m labeled “prude”. It’s who I am. I’m proud of it. I have certain morals (and am not saying that those non prudes do not have morals, just that our morals differ) and I am proud of who I am. I grew up in a completely out there family, a completely open family about everything, I was not sheltered about sex or anything growing up, but over time I’ve developed my views and that’s what it is, I am a prude, I am old fashioned and often times I feel like I should have been born in the 30s instead of the 80s.
But why is this bad? I really want to know.
Post # 3
As long as youi’re not hurting me in any way I could care less if you’re a prude or not. Prude can mean a lot of things and your post really isn’t detailed enough for me to comment more. Some people are just jerks and have little tolerance for people who are different from them. Being tolerant of others is important, but so is surrounding yourself with people who are tolerant of your choices or share the same beliefs/morals/values as you do.
Post # 4
@MrsWBS: Agreed. I guess I’m more of a new age prude as I really could care less what you or others believe, we all are entitled to believe what we want. I just want to be left to believe what I believe as well without being practically stoned for having differing opinions.
For a prude, I guess I’d say I’m pretty relaxed. So long as I’m not subjected to things I find terribly offensive, people will be people, it’s their life not mine.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
@kris325: it’s only bad when it weighs on others. I can’t think anyone would judge you harshly about not sleeping around or flirting or anything (especially bc you are married)… But being judgmental when others make choices you disagree with invites them to judge you.
Post # 6
Why are you feeling so judged?
There is nothing wrong with having morals and sticking to them. I think it’s awesome.
Post # 7
What do you mean by prude? If you mean not sexually adventerous I’m wondering why you’re discussing it with others in the first place.
Post # 8
“Lighten up, stop being judgemental, let them be who they are”
Are you making judgemental remarks about others that are not prudes?
Post # 9
@Quickiebee: You are right, I do my absolute best to not ever be judgemental.
My grandmother was the most honest christian woman you would meet and when you did something she disagreed with, she’d shake her head and move on with her life. She wouldn’t give it a second thought as she knew, we are all different and we all have our own lives and our own paths and don’t see things the same. She was not judgemental and my ultimate goal is to be like her (in other ways as well) when I reach her age.
I don’t judge but expect others not to judge me as well.
When someone says “Hey, let’s go get wasted while our husbands are away at the local bars” and I say no, I’d rather not put myself out there like that (to be hit on in general) I get the remarks “You’re such a prude” “Get over yourself” “Lighten up” etc etc. Heck even my mom has called me a prude for not drinking with her.
I drink, it’s not about that, I just don’t get drunk unless I’m in the comfort of my own home with my husband (as it cane lead to fun).
I’ve just been called a prude many many times this week and it’s frustrating that it’s said in such a negative way.
Post # 10
I don’t know, why do so many people KNOW you’re a prude? I mean, if someone made judgely comments around me all the time for not seeing things the same way they do, that would get old hella-fast. It just seems odd to me that your prude-ishness is coming up so often in social situations. Are you sure you aren’t the one making a big deal about it?
Post # 11
FI and I are prudes at heart as well. I don’t want to hear about your sex life, I don’t want to see large swaths of your bare flesh, and I don’t much like drinking to the point of drunkeness. These are all things I would never do myself. If people do these things around me it makes me uncomfortable, but I usually don’t say anything to anyone but FI. We’re kind of odd at 23, but it works for us and we’ve managed to find peers who think the same as us. I find it kind of funny that the drink of choice in our social circle is hard cider and no one ever has more than 2 in a night.
Post # 12
@jny1179: This isn’t anything judgemental. This is quoting others who have said these things to me. Quoting others is judgemental how?
OK I’m getting a big flustered. Let me take a step back. You see the reaction already on this thread? If someone were to post “I’m a nudist, it’s who I am, I’m proud of it” there would likely be loads of “Good for you being confident” and such, and I’d be one to congratulate them for being confident. But you post about being proud that you are a prude, and even in past times being called a prude was a major compliment, it’s opened the door for people to try and read between the lines when there is nothing there to read.
Post # 13
@bridinmt: I would think that, but my whole family are party animals. I’m a homebody. They go out all the time and I only like to really go out at night if it’s with my husband. Sure I need friend time but I don’t enjoy friend drinking time. My family always wants to drink and talk sexual things. My friends are the same way, as well as my husbands friends. But most of these friends are friends from years ago, we are still friends but we’ve changed as we have grown and they all expect me to be the “party animal” and such.
I do have a few friends who are “prudes” as well and we get along really well, only because they kinda get where I’m coming from. But most family and friends are constantly saying things along the lines of “prude”
Post # 14
@jny1179: My question exactly.
@kris325: There is a difference between being a prude and sticking to your personal beliefs and being judgmental. You are entitled to live your life as you see fit but that doesn’t mean other people want to hear your negative comments on how they chose to live (not sure if this is what is occuring). If you don’t agree with how those around you are behaving and your way of thinking is constantly the focus of social situations then perhaps it is time to choose a new circle of friends.
Post # 15
you can be a prude, but are you making judgment calls on other people that so many people call you a prude?
Post # 16
There is a difference between being a prude and being a stick in the mud.