Post # 1
Sorry girls for wasting your time writing this but I need someone to talk to and I am tired of pestering my mom and my friend about this. I have always been an athletic girl my whole life up until college when I gained 50 pounds. I lost it in 2008 and then gained back up to a healthy 133 (I’m 5 foot 4). I would have this obsession with not wanting to get big again and monitor my food, not in a eating disorder kind of way but would watch what I ate but still enjoy myself. Fast forward to last year – I was dealing with a bully at my old job (my boss), in the middle of a move across province and trying to sell our house and trying to find a new job in our new city. 6 months of stress caused me to gain 40 pounds and I tipped the scales at 170… In January I started eating healthy again and working out and lost 12 pounds before we went to Mexico but every since we got back at the end of February I am back in my routine of starting and stopping! i am about 159 right now and I really want to lose the weight, I am not looking to do it quickly – I just can’t seem to find the will power. I think about having a grilled cheese and then I just HAVE to have one, I cant stop thinking about it and then I feel extremely guilty. Today i started off with full intentions of eating healthy and then I grabbed tons of candy at work, plus other shit that’s not good for me. Ughh… I just feel like such a failure. I am NOT this girl. I just can’t seem to get back on it. i know getting married and looking good in a wedding dress should be my motivation but I keep reaching for food. I feel like I am obsessed and I don’t know how to stop it.. Has anyone felt this way? Looking for any support here.
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC
I don’t have any advice, but I’m in the exact same place as you right now. I also used to be very athletic, running xc and track as well as riding horses all through my childhood and high school. I gained some weight during college and am now struggling to get back to a place where I feel comfortable. I’m not overweight or unhealthy, but I don’t exactly feel good about myself. Constantly changing weather in my area (thanks, spring), combined with SO and I being long distance and a pretty hard work schedule is making me so tired, depressed, and unmotivated. I get on a really good schedule of working out and eating right only to get so exhausted and bored with it all. Keep your head up, we’ll get back to a good eating and exercise routine soon!
Post # 3
I don’t have any advice for you. In fact, I could stand to hear the advice myself, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone.
Post # 4
I have trouble with self-control when I’m depressed also. Have you thought of going to counseling to try to sort through all the changes and get less overwhelmed? Although everything looks amazing on the outside, my life just had too many big changes to close together and I’m struggling to deal with it and finally started counseling to ‘untangle’ all the changes and how they make me feel. Don’t beat yourself up about the food or being a failure. You’ve had a lot going on and that can overwhelm anyone. Don’t be afriad to find someone to talk through stuff with that not involved in your life (how I view it). It’s already helped and I’ve been twice and all we’ve done is talk in a rambling kind of way! Anyway, I just want to say you aren’t alone and don’t be afraid to explore help.
Post # 5
I am in the same place you are.
I was also very athletic, playing volleyball, running track, kickboxing and yoga. Ever since I started back at the University full time while keeping my demanding job, planning the wedding and taking care of my sick mother, I have gained 20lbs in 1 year. I really wanted to lose it before the wedding (in August) because I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I rarely exercise now, and I can’t seem to stick to any diet plan at all! It’s hard to try on new clothes for the bridal shower and bachelorette parties when I don’t even recognize my body in the mirror anymore and I have to try on clothes 2 sizes bigger than I ever have before.
Hang in there! I hope we get through this!
Post # 6
I don’t have any advice just *hugs*. I am addicted to junk food, am also 5’4″ and weigh about 184lbs. Just had to buy size 18 (Australian) jeans and shorts yesterday as my size 16s didn’t fit anymore! You are not alone, there are lots of women here who can offer advice or support if they are in a similar boat. I was never very into sports so I think that will help you that you did used to be athletic, it may be easier for you to get back into an exercise routine 🙂
Post # 7
lilymarie23: I could have written your post… Its literally like a force beyond my control makes me eat. I kind of wonder if this is how people who can’t find the will to stop smoking feel? its like my mind is completely obsessed with the idea of food until I give in and eat. And I love the eating part, but then I feel crap!
I actually started on a new healthy eating/exercise routine about 10 days ago and its going well so far… but we’ll see! (I HAVE to lose the weight for our wedding otherwise I know i’ll be miserable.. i’m not a big girl by any means so I’m not losing it for health reasons, but I’m bigger than I am used to and it gets me down)
I’ve seriously considered going to a psychologist to figure out why I have such an emotional attachment to food.. its so hard! My FI always says ‘just don’t eat it’ when I complain about craving bad food but its not that easy!
I guess this really hasnt been a helpful comment.. lol but you should know you’re definitely not alone!
Post # 8
Also if you are concerned that it could be a serious addiction rather than just habit, perhaps look into seeing a psychologist or someone that can help you with it? I am hoping my psychologist and/or psychiatrist may be able to help me with mine but we will see. They should be able to outline the underlying cause/issue behind it at least and work on that part with you.
Post # 9
I read that you try to eat healthy but do you also incorporate exercise? The best way to lose weight is to make sure you get plenty of cardio. Walk, run, zumba, spin classes… such great ways of shedding weight! Also you’ll feel so much better about yourself and it will boost your self esteem after a great work out. Good luck!
Post # 10
It sounds like you need to get into mindful eating, and not feel guilty about eating. Food should not inspire feelings of guilt. Food is food, it is not good or bad.
Healthy eating includes some of the richer, not so healthy foods. Denying eating those foods tends to make you want them more. For example, craving grilled cheese – allow yourself to have some, and include it in your healthy eating plan. Eat with care, and if half a serve is enough, then give the other half to your SO. Same with candy – one candy is fine on occasion.
I know you are trying to lose weight, but you need to do it in a way that you can live with it long term. If that means allowing yourself the pleasure of occasionally eating foods that aren’t so healthy, then include those, and don’t feel guilty afterwards. It is very difficult as we are programmed by society to think of foods as bad or good, with the related guilt, instead of everyday and sometimes foods.
You may need some professional support- if your health fund covers it, a dietitian and a psychologist may help.
Post # 11
lilymarie23: Starting an exercise routine will no doubt help your depression and food choices. Everyone has pitfalls and nobody is perfect. I try to make a habit of waking up early to get to the gym at least 4 days a week. Once you start seeing results you’re likely to be motivated and keep it up. Set a small attainable goal and take it one day at a time. you can do it!
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I heard the best advice I ever heard about food the other day. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”- Michael Pollan
That being said, it’s DEFINITEY not that easy. You, like most people, have a lot of emotion tied to food. I would deal with those issues before trying to conquer the food addiction. best of luck, I know it can be so hard. I experienced the same thing. It took me forever to come to terms with the fact I have to exercise almost every day and I have to use myfitnesspal.com to track everything. Changed my life.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Ugh, I feel you, OP! Living with my FI… I’m drinking less but eating WAY more: portions, meals, candy… and not a salad in sight. ugh. My weight is the highest it’s ever been and the wedding is in three months. The worst thing is that I almost never think about what I’m eating or how much at the moment when I’m doing it. I canNOT seem to break this new habit. 🙁 And I won’t even pretend exercise is remotely on the table. Bellydancing ONCE a week is it. 🙁
Post # 14
Think of it this way – there is nothing wrong with having a grilled cheese sandwich if you want one. Just think about ways you can make it healthier (low fat cheese, whole grain bread etc). Limit your portion sizes. As long as you are not exceeding your calories, you will be fine. The minute you start saying ‘I must NOT have this’ etc, it becomes extremely difficult.
Moderation is the key. I am currently eating to lose weight (I have a powerlifting competition in May). I still eat KFC, chocolate etc. But ONLY if I can fit it into my daily caloric allowance (KFC not so much because of the sodium content, but once every 2 weeks I have it!). Remember; moderation is key.
Start logging your calories! And don’t be afraid to have a little treat every now and then. I’m sure there are loads of healthy grilled cheese recipes you can find online. If you want to track your calories, go on myfitnesspal. My username there is Humbugsftw, shoot me a friend request if you want 🙂
I think it also helps if you find an exercise you really enjoy. For some, this might be zumba, badminton, dancing, whatever. As long as it gets you up and moving! For me, it is powerlifting (A type of weightlifting). I’m competing now, that’s how much I enjoy it. I was never athletic or sporty before, now I am training 15+ hours a week. It really makes a difference!
Post # 15
I agree with a lot of PPs. It’s okay to have candy and grilled cheese. You can’t deny yourself the things you love, as it will drive you crazy.
So have the grilled cheese, but not every day. Use whole grain bread. Have a big salad on the side and a nice big glass of water. Start with just half the sandwich and keep the other half out of sight until some time passes to make sure you aren’t eating even after being full.
Have that piece of candy every day. But make it one piece, not 20. You’ll really learn to savor it when you’re not downing a whole handful. Don’t take out the bag and eat the piece while you’re standing in the kitchen. it makes it so much easier to grab 5 more. Take the piece, put the bag away, and go about your business. Same with anything like chips – pour some into a bowl, put the bag away, plop down on the couch, then eat. Then you keep yourself from consuming way too many and keep it to a better portion.
I also find that water is key. Drink a lot of water. Half the time when I think I’m hungry and want a snack, I actually am thirsty. I drink a glass of water and suddenly I’m full and I don’t even want to snack anymore. Definitely drink water first to hydrate yourself, and only eat when you’re still hungry after that.
I also find I sometimes snack and eat out of boredom – again, water or tea can help me there. Gum also does too. It keeps my mouth busy and gives me some flavor.
You can definitely do this. Don’t beat yourself up over food. Limit the portions on the more indulgent things, but still enjoy them. Then eat as many vegetables as you want and drink that water. You’ll get there. I’m a similar size to you. I was 175lbs at my highest weight, and I’ve gone to 150lbs now (145lbs at my lowest). All I did was drink more water and limit anything that wasn’t a vegetable. I still enjoy my two Oreos everyday. 🙂 The weight loss might be gradual, but it will happen.