I am afraid to go….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you’ve not RSVP’ed yet, why not just decline? Your friend sounds like she’s not being a very gracious hostess. 

Post # 4
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Give them what you can afford and feel comfortable giving. The same way I tell couples don’t plan your spending based on what gifts you get, you shouldn’t plan your gift based on what kind of food and wedding they will host.

You don’t have to go to the bar after, if you don’t have money for that, say bye to the bride and head home.

 

Post # 5
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TwoCityBride:  agreed. 

It sounds like your friend is having the wedding she can afford. The wedding isn’t at an established meal time, so she’s not providing a meal for guests. It seems like a strange choice of offerings, but you don’t have to partake.

Eat lunch before you go. Enjoy being part of your friend’s celebration. Gift whatever you typically would to a friend of the same status (close friend? acquaintence?). Eat a tiny bit of cake. be HAPPY for the couple. Go home. Easy.

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