Post # 1
We have 2 dogs, we both had 1 each when we met. I have always had symptoms of allergies but was never sure what caused them, now they are insane causing heachaches, nose bleeds caused from dry sinuses, itching eyes and now tighting on my chest and trouble sleeping at night. I also have mild asthma.
We have kids, and what started out is we put our dogs in the garage, because of the cayos and they kept waking our baby. Now he is almost 2 years old. They are still not in the house full time, and this is how I relised what I am allergic too, because when they are in, I feel horrible and also when I go clean the garage, feed them and let them out I get all symptoms really bad. My husband says he will not get rid of his dog, he said its dumb but it would be like getting rid of 1 of our kids. I completely understand because I have had my dog for 10 years, and love her dearly. I am willing to give her up because I am that miserable, and keeping her in the garage is not healthy for her.
It was wrong of me but I told me husband its me or the dogs, he said he will not get rid of them, and I can leave if I want. I do not want to leave him, and take our kids away from there home and dad. I know I can not live the next 10-15 years with a pet, as his dog is only 3 years old…Please help…and I have been taking allergy meds but they do not help. I need opinions on how i can mae him understand, or what to do, because breaking up my family is not an option
Post # 3
“I told me husband its me or the dogs, he said he will not get rid of them, and I can leave if I want.”
Post # 4
@Heather27: are you serious? your dh is picking the dogs over you???
can the dogs become outdoor dogs and have their own shelter built out in the back yard?
Post # 5
he really loves his dog, and he really loves me. I know he didnt mean it, but he thinks I am trying to find a way for them to go since it was my idea to put them in the garage because of our new baby 🙁
We have a brittany spaniel who is very senstive to cold weather, so leaving them outside isnt an option
Post # 6
Are you taking allergy meds prescribed by a doctor? Or just over the counter stuff? Is a different medication or allergy shots an option?
Not everyone on this site is going to agree with me, but my pets are like kids too. I would make my husband try absolutely anything for us to be able to keep them. I also have a contingency plan in place for if I even had a child that became severely allergic. My sister would take my pets, and I would take hers in the same situation.
If you just drop a 10 year old dog off at the shelter, it won’t have much of a chance. Do you have a family member or friend who could take her?
Post # 7
Yes my sister said she would in a heart beat but its my husband who wont part with his 3 year old dog
Post # 8
I’m not saying don’t try everything you can, but if my husband ever said that to me I’d tell him to take the dogs and get out, have a great life. Stubborn or not that is ridiculous.
Post # 9
OP I would encourage you to meet with an allergist and go over prescription medication options. My brother has serious allergies but with the right medication he has no problem being around the family pets, (as long as he’s not sleeping with them). I don’t think your husband is a bad guy for saying that. I think it was probably said out of anger in the heat of the moment. I would be incredulous if my Darling Husband asked me to pick between him and our pets and could see myself going off on him like that.
Post # 10
@Meowkers: I agree he did not mean it, and I know me telling him me or the dogs was wrong, but he just dont get how miserable I feel, and I wanted him to see how serious I am about it
Post # 11
My Darling Husband would tell me that he’d pick his cat over me too, and just because he was annoyed and sad at having to give him up. Can you take medication? I had to growing up cause we had dogs and on top of leaves & dust I was allergic to the dog. I outgrew it, thank goodness, cause I have one now and would die with out her. You can get Rx for it from your Dr, you could also switch the dogs food up to help lessen dander and shedding depending on what you are allergic too.
Post # 12
@Meowkers: Me too. When we first got my second cat, she was a terror. She was chewing up our house, stealing food as we put it to our mouths, all kinds of things. My husband was so fed up at one point, that he said she had to go, and in anger/frustration, I said HE could go instead. Obviously I didn’t fully mean it, but my pets are part of the family and I just didn’t want to dump her off/give up on her.
Post # 13
Your Darling Husband owes you a serious apology. How rude and hurtful. You should have sent him packing right then and there. Take the dog, your shit, and GTFO.
That being said, I would suggest to find anything you can to get this to work. Once you’ve tried EVERY option, then you should go to him and say, “I’ve LITERALLY tried everything. I’m miserable. I cannot live like this. Please, let’s give the dogs to my sister. If not, you need to take your dog and leave and I will give my dog to my sister. I can’t live with the two dogs anymore, they make me literally physically very sick.”
I’ve never heard of anyone breaking up over a pet.
I feel you, though. I’m allergic to my cats and my Fiance is trying to get me to get rid of them because I’m so miserable, but I can’t because it breaks my heart to think of where they will end up. I have no one who wants to take them and if I put 2 6-y/o cats in the pound, even a no-kill shelter, they are not likely to get adopted. It breaks my heart, but I know at some point, I’m going to have to get rid of them. And, I’m not even as sick as you are!
ETA: Is it at all possible that you’re only allergic to one of the two dogs? I happen to think one of my cats gives me an allergic reaction and the other one doesn’t or rarely does. Maybe you can have your sister take your dog for some time and see if that helps the situation? If it’s just your dog and not his, then maybe that would be a solution? Or if it’s just the fact that it’s 2 dogs together, getting rid of one might help?
Post # 14
@hotchildinthecity: +1 My Fiance has asthma and is allergic to animals (our dog is a short-hair, so it’s not as hard on him as say a guinea pig), but he takes allergy medicine to deal with it because we BOTH love the crap out of our dog. If it ever got so bad that we were out of options we’d give the dog to my parents, but I know for both of us that is our absolute last resort. I get the feeling it’s the last resort for your husband as well (I really don’t think he’d choose the dog) and this was his way of (badly) encouraging you to find another way to deal with it. Explore all avenues, see a specialist, and then if all else fails – tell your husband there are no options left and the dog has to go.
ETA: You can build a heated dog kennel for outside – it’s not that hard/expensive. I know tons of people who have them where I live and our winters get to -50C with regularity, often for a few weeks at a time.
Post # 15
Your husband is obviously being stubborn, but I understand where he is coming from. My dog is a huge part of my life and I signed up to take care of her for life. I couldn’t imagine parting with her.
The twist in my story is that I’m the one with severe allergies and asthma and the number one culprit: dogs. I found that it’s really about finding the right combinations of medicine and limiting their ability to jump on couches and beds. For me, nasal sprays and allergy meds together are the only thing that make my allergies pretty much non-existent. Without the nasal spray, I was still a mess, having attacks on the regular. Once I spoke to my doctor, and got on the nasal spray I was like a brand new person.
I’d really exhaust all options before considering giving the dogs up.
Post # 16
I don’t support giving up pets on a whim, (and especially senior pets who have little change of being adopted) we have enough issues with throw-away attitudes contributing to shelter over population, HOWEVER if you already have a loving home lined up, I think it’s an acceptable decision.
Also, there will be Bees who disagree with me, but I don’t believe a dog should live in a garage, or outside on a full-time basis. They’re way too social and it’s like a prision sentence. I believe living with your sister would be far preferable to living in the garage, and your husband if he really wants the best for his dog, should see that too.
I would schedule allergy tests if I were you, to be sure that the dogs are really the issue. Maybe there’s mould in the garage and that’s what’s causing your reaction, not the dogs… just a possibility. Having positive results will show your husband that you’re really suffering, not just wanting to “get rid of” the dogs.