Weddingbee boards

Okay, so a few months before FI and I got engaged, my dad's parents went through this crazy health crisis.  My grandparents both went into the hospital because they weren't caring for themselves (although, they could) and they both spent several months in the hospital.  They are out of rehabilitation now, but are still struggling.

A month before we got engaged, I went to visit them and saw my Aunt J and my Cousin S (her daughter).  Aunt J and Cousin S and I went out to dinner.  Well, after about 3 glasses of wine, I spilled the beans that FI had bought the ring and I was anxiously waiting on the proposal!!  My Aunt J gently explained to my cousin S that typically, with our family being so large, kids weren't usually invited to weddings.  I, being a wee bit drunk stupid, said that that was nonsense!  I only have 4 first cousins and three of them are under the age of 15.  Of course they would be invited!  Heck!  Cousin S could even be a junior bridesmaid, maybe!  How could she not!  She's family! 

Fast forward through a LOT of family drama involving my grandparents and Cousin S.  She is a manipulative person and she is constantly starting drama our family... at 13!  She is truly a product of her environment, but it is super frustrating.  She always has to do things to get attention, especially at family functions. 

FI and I officially decided that we were not going to have children be in the bridal party.  It was a joint decision that we did not want to worry about little ones on our big day, especially because I work with kids, every.single.day.  Well of course my grandparents, who are slightly caniving themselves (no, seriously), asked and asked about "what is going on with S?" "She is SO excited to be part of your wedding" "Haven't you asked her to be in the bridal party yet?" and so on and so on.  Now I KNOW that I dug my own grave, but they took it a bit far... The day I went to try on my wedding dress for the first time (it was ordered online), my grandmother had gotten her claws in so far that I had a panic attack before we left the house!

What FI and I did decide was to ask S to do a reading during the ceremony, which I feel is more important than being a Junior BM.  So that was our solution.  We would have my two other cousins (both boys) be ushers and hand out programs, if they wanted to have a job in the wedding too, but we haven't gotten that far and I managed to stay mum on that.

Now, here's the real problem.  I don't want the kiddos to stay for the reception.  They are welcome to the ceremony and cocktail hour... but how can I tell them that I don't want kids at the reception?  I want the adults to have fun and enjoy themselves.  I don't want to have to worry about the kids getting tired or needing attention- which happens more than I care to admit.  I was planning on hiring a babysitter and ordering them all pizza at the hotel we will be staying at so that they can have their own party, but still attend the big event.

I think you should just sit down with the kids parents first and tell them your plans then break the news to the kids.  Hopefully the parents will be on board with you.  Good luck!

I agree w/ talking to the parents. Also, the babysitter/pizza idea is a great idea, it will let the kids have their own fun.

A friend of mine had a going-away party at her house and designated one room the "KID ZONE" and had all signs up like, "no parents allowed" and "password-protected kid room" and stuff like that. They had food, a TV, video games, a computer, rented movies, etc.  The kids really did think of it as their room that they could do whatever they wanted in (they did have a 14-year-old babysitter in there to keep them sane) but we did not hear a peep from them the whole party!