(Closed) I am asking too much or being a brizezilla about this

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think I would ask them to stay with you but I would offer

Everyone has their own comfort levels and some of your bridesmaids might prefer their own space.  I don’t think it’s unrealistic to ask them to be present the day of the wedding by a specific time but I do think it’s a bit demanding to ask them to stay in the suite with you. 

I am sure some of them would be thrilled to take you up on an ‘offer’ to stay in the suite for free but some of them might rather get a good night’s sleep in their own space and meet everyone the next morning.  The wedding day makes for a lot of togetherness for the bridal party so it might benefit some of the bridesmaids to have space the night before and then they’ll be refreshed and ready to celebrate all day long!

Post # 4
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m assuming all of your BM’s are adults, therefore I would give everyone the offer to stay in your suite, but not “demand” that they stay at the hotel.  Unless they have a past history of never showing up on time and consistently driving drunk, I would think that they would be able to handle an open bar at the rehearsal.

Post # 5
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Another option could be to not have an open bar at the rehearsal dinner and to just offer wine and beer to help reduce the odds of a hangover. And then let them party like rockstars at the actual wedding.

Do you really want to be squished into your bridal suite the night before with no alone time and possibly drunk people running around crazy until all hours of the night?

Personally, I’m looking forward to sleeping by myself the night before so I can be fully rested for the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d offer the suite as an option, tell them you’d love to have them there.  And I’d mention the conveniences of doing that, as well as getting another room within the hotel.  I’m sure most of them will want to do that.  But it’s not something you can really force on them, ya know?  I don’t know your BM’s, but I’m sure they don’t want to disappoint you so even if they choose other accommodations, they’ll be sure to make it there on time.  It’s so hard not having control of the situation, but it will work out.

Post # 7
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah, I dont know if I would go for this personally.  I would offer, but not demand.  If that were me, I’d want to be in the comfort of my own house, you have to trust that the bridesmaids will be on time, thats not asking for much.  I would hope they’re not that irresponsible.

Post # 8
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would definitely offer it to them, just not make it a requirement.  Personally, I really don’t like the idea of sleeping in another bed with someone other than my husband, so just keep that in mind…not all the girls may be up for sharing a bed.  As a bridesmaid, I’d probably be up for a slumber party (as long as I got my own bed/cot lol)…but then again, with 9 bridesmaids and a bride, I’d probably want a little escape from the estrogen until the next day when my bridesmaids duties REALLY kick in. lol

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with the pps.  Offer but don’t require. 

Also, do all of your BMs know each other?  If you have this relative, that high school friend, and the other one from college, they might feel uncomfortable “sleeping with strangers”, so to speak 🙂

As for driving drunk, it’s hard for me to know if you’re being a overly nervous, or your BP typically behaves this way.  If they do normally drive drunk, you’ll need to rethink your alcohol plans for the RD.  If they don’t, I think you need to find your happy place, and let it all go.

Post # 10
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If I were a bridesmaid I wouldn’t want to sleep on a cot the night before the wedding I was in.

Post # 11
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i definitely don’t think you can require them to stay- and as for worrying about them getting in an accident because they drank too much and drove, can’t the same be said for the other guests at the rehearsal dinner?  i think it would be nice to have your girls there the night before, but with so many in the party, even if you get like half of them to stay, you will still have a very nice number of ladies to chill with that night.  =)

Post # 12
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I understand you want them all to be at the hotel to get ready in the morning with you, but that doesn’t mean they have to sleep there.  Just tell them they have to be at the hotel room by 9 or whatever.  Think about this: If you have 10 people staying in this room, you still only have 1 shower, right?  Are all 10 of you going to take turns with the shower?  That would be so hectic!  You and your bridesmaids will be much happier if you have several rooms, I promise.  Offer to let them stay with you if they would like, but don’t demand it. 

Best case, a few will stay with you and the rest will either get their own rooms in the hotel or near by, and you all will get together in the morning.  You can even have a brunch buffet for when they arrive, but there is no reason for them to sleep in your actual room.  I can honestly say if I bride told me that I had to stay in her room because she didn’t trust me not to get so drunk the night before that I would be too hung over to arrive on time I would be really offended.  They are adults and your peers, not your children.

Post # 13
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Sorry, double post!

Post # 14
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the others.  Offer, but do not demand.  They are adults; tell them what time you need them to be at your hotel on the wedding day and let them make their own decisions about where to stay.  Nobody likes to be micromanaged.

As a bridesmaid, I’d want my own space the night before the wedding, especially if I wasn’t close to the rest of the wedding party.  It’s going to be a long day, and 10 possibly drunk girls in one hotel suite doesn’t sound like a recipe for a good night’s sleep.  And ten girls having to share one, two, or even three bathrooms on the morning of your wedding sounds like a disaster.

Post # 15
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I know personally I wouldnt want to stay there. I like to have my own space & bed a cot is just not for me.

You could offer in case they want to but I wouldnt ask/ demand that they stay there.

Post # 16
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

A hotel probably will not allow you to have that many people in one room. Most rooms are limited to 4 people.

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