Post # 1
I wanted to get your opinion before I bring this up to all my BMs. The night of the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner, before the big day, I want all the entire Bridal Party to stay at the hotel that night. I have 9 in my bridal party and I have a 1200+ sq ft suite that can easily fit 10 cots if u move the dining table, some chairs etc. plus there are 2 couches that turn into a full size bed, and there are HUGE king bed. Being that all my bridal party are skinny, including me.. i find that with 8 cots + 2 couches that pull out to a full size beds, and my king size bed that all 10 girls can fit easily. This is the option if they do not want to pay for a room, at the room rate we got (which is $169). I think 2 or 3 of my BMs will just because they are bringing their husband or bf/gf and are not local and thats fine.
But I have the BIGGEST fear if they are not in that hotel with me the night of. 1- what if ((knock on wood)) they drink at the rehearsal dinner and get in a car wreck…that would be terrible and I’d feel responsible… 2- like i mentioned there are 9 in the bridal party + me + MOB + MOG that need to all get ready by 4pm. There will be someone on location to do all their hair, also, airbrush makeup as their foundation, and someone else to do all their eye makeup (part of their gift)… I don’t have a lot of time to get everyone ready, and be stressing because some girls are running late…. 3. After a rehersal dinner with an open bar, I will have everything the girls need in case of hang overs (plus they wont have to drive to the hotel early in the AM)…I will have advil, bottled water, room service.. whatever they want… etc. therefore, no late BMs due to a hang over… 4. i will know where everyone is so when hair/makeup starts… they are there and ready.
Some of my BM have already asked me if I would mind if they stayed with me in my suite as they only have the $ to pay to spend the night of the wedding at the hotel and thats when this idea popped into my head. I think it isn’t too much to ask because not only am I giving them the option to stay in a beautiful suite for free, and by no means are they having to sleep on the floor.. i mean 3 girls can fit in the bed with me…I can sleep through ANYTHING lol. The girls that want to and can afford to can get their own rooms in the hotel, they’ve blocked off rooms close to my suite for the BMs…..it will save them on gas, and from worrying about drinking and driving.
Please let me know if this is being a little over board, but really my main concern is their saftey!!!
Post # 3
I don’t think I would ask them to stay with you but I would offer.
Everyone has their own comfort levels and some of your bridesmaids might prefer their own space. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to ask them to be present the day of the wedding by a specific time but I do think it’s a bit demanding to ask them to stay in the suite with you.
I am sure some of them would be thrilled to take you up on an ‘offer’ to stay in the suite for free but some of them might rather get a good night’s sleep in their own space and meet everyone the next morning. The wedding day makes for a lot of togetherness for the bridal party so it might benefit some of the bridesmaids to have space the night before and then they’ll be refreshed and ready to celebrate all day long!
Post # 4
I’m assuming all of your BM’s are adults, therefore I would give everyone the offer to stay in your suite, but not “demand” that they stay at the hotel. Unless they have a past history of never showing up on time and consistently driving drunk, I would think that they would be able to handle an open bar at the rehearsal.
Post # 5
Another option could be to not have an open bar at the rehearsal dinner and to just offer wine and beer to help reduce the odds of a hangover. And then let them party like rockstars at the actual wedding.
Do you really want to be squished into your bridal suite the night before with no alone time and possibly drunk people running around crazy until all hours of the night?
Personally, I’m looking forward to sleeping by myself the night before so I can be fully rested for the wedding.
Post # 6
I’d offer the suite as an option, tell them you’d love to have them there. And I’d mention the conveniences of doing that, as well as getting another room within the hotel. I’m sure most of them will want to do that. But it’s not something you can really force on them, ya know? I don’t know your BM’s, but I’m sure they don’t want to disappoint you so even if they choose other accommodations, they’ll be sure to make it there on time. It’s so hard not having control of the situation, but it will work out.
Post # 7
Yeah, I dont know if I would go for this personally. I would offer, but not demand. If that were me, I’d want to be in the comfort of my own house, you have to trust that the bridesmaids will be on time, thats not asking for much. I would hope they’re not that irresponsible.
Post # 8
I would definitely offer it to them, just not make it a requirement. Personally, I really don’t like the idea of sleeping in another bed with someone other than my husband, so just keep that in mind…not all the girls may be up for sharing a bed. As a bridesmaid, I’d probably be up for a slumber party (as long as I got my own bed/cot lol)…but then again, with 9 bridesmaids and a bride, I’d probably want a little escape from the estrogen until the next day when my bridesmaids duties REALLY kick in. lol
Post # 9
I agree with the pps. Offer but don’t require.
Also, do all of your BMs know each other? If you have this relative, that high school friend, and the other one from college, they might feel uncomfortable “sleeping with strangers”, so to speak 🙂
As for driving drunk, it’s hard for me to know if you’re being a overly nervous, or your BP typically behaves this way. If they do normally drive drunk, you’ll need to rethink your alcohol plans for the RD. If they don’t, I think you need to find your happy place, and let it all go.
Post # 10
If I were a bridesmaid I wouldn’t want to sleep on a cot the night before the wedding I was in.
Post # 11
i definitely don’t think you can require them to stay- and as for worrying about them getting in an accident because they drank too much and drove, can’t the same be said for the other guests at the rehearsal dinner? i think it would be nice to have your girls there the night before, but with so many in the party, even if you get like half of them to stay, you will still have a very nice number of ladies to chill with that night. =)
Post # 12
I understand you want them all to be at the hotel to get ready in the morning with you, but that doesn’t mean they have to sleep there. Just tell them they have to be at the hotel room by 9 or whatever. Think about this: If you have 10 people staying in this room, you still only have 1 shower, right? Are all 10 of you going to take turns with the shower? That would be so hectic! You and your bridesmaids will be much happier if you have several rooms, I promise. Offer to let them stay with you if they would like, but don’t demand it.
Best case, a few will stay with you and the rest will either get their own rooms in the hotel or near by, and you all will get together in the morning. You can even have a brunch buffet for when they arrive, but there is no reason for them to sleep in your actual room. I can honestly say if I bride told me that I had to stay in her room because she didn’t trust me not to get so drunk the night before that I would be too hung over to arrive on time I would be really offended. They are adults and your peers, not your children.
Post # 14
I agree with the others. Offer, but do not demand. They are adults; tell them what time you need them to be at your hotel on the wedding day and let them make their own decisions about where to stay. Nobody likes to be micromanaged.
As a bridesmaid, I’d want my own space the night before the wedding, especially if I wasn’t close to the rest of the wedding party. It’s going to be a long day, and 10 possibly drunk girls in one hotel suite doesn’t sound like a recipe for a good night’s sleep. And ten girls having to share one, two, or even three bathrooms on the morning of your wedding sounds like a disaster.
Post # 15
I know personally I wouldnt want to stay there. I like to have my own space & bed a cot is just not for me.
You could offer in case they want to but I wouldnt ask/ demand that they stay there.
Post # 16
A hotel probably will not allow you to have that many people in one room. Most rooms are limited to 4 people.