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It looks like her dress is very much dressier than yours. I think that's where the problem lies more so than the colors or the bow. Have you given her any suggestions of dresses you find appropriate besides the color?
I think a more casual dress, even if you don't care for it, would be the way to go. She's got her own style, so there's no changing that, just like you mentioned.
I would just tell her straight out that her dress is to formal for your wedding. She needs to get somthing more casual.
I agree with the others. Her dress just looks way too formal compared to what you've posted. Let her have whatever crazy bow she wants, I'd say, but the dress itself needs to be kicked down a notch or two. Maybe you should browse around yourself and send her some suggestions and re-emphasize how casual you want to keep it, she must just not get it. Even if you guys have different taste, it shouldn't be rocket science for her to find a dress she likes that fits the casual tone of your wedding.
So you're wearing the casual white dress with shrug?
Her dress is too fancy. And that bow is pretty ugly on it, too! It's a strange placement. I'd pick a dress for her and say, "here's what i'd like you to wear" or tell her "jersey print, X color" something like that.
Sorry, but your wedding, your style! She can make you wear big fat bows to her wedding. What is your cousin wearing? i think it'd be easier just to find something and say "here buy this"
Oops! That picture only shows my sweater. Here's my actual wedding dress, although I think it's still pretty tame 
dress_shopping_010_resize.jpg (85.1 KB, 42 downloads) 3 years old 
Can you flip the bow to the back, so the sash is straight across in the front, if she insists on that dress? Or remove the sash altogether to make you hate it less?
Personally, I think if you want to go casual that she maybe needs a matte dress (not shiny and satiny like this one) but if you decide not to fight it, maybe think of a way to dress it down? Good luck.
Ok, your dress is more formal than what we were gathering from the first picture. But the sweater does make it more casual. Are you were the sweater for the entire day? I don't have a problem with the BM dress, other than the bow. That is really out there, and terribly placed. What has the other BM picked out?
I think you have the right to veto the dress, if you don't like it that much. Or just look at some yourself, and give her some suggestions as to what you'd like her to wear. If you two have different styles, she was probably hoping to have a certain dress, she thought would look nice for your wedding. But you can remind her, that when she gets married, you'll be hapy to wear a BM dress that you don't feel comfortable in for her... You are being generous in allowing her to pickout something she can wear again. If she doesn't try to work with that, you can just "turn the car around" and pick out the dress yourself.....Then she'll be really unhappy. Good luck.
Thanks everyone for your advice! I talked to my sister today & she agreed to look for another dress (or get the sash in brown as a last resort) -- no offense taken!! Sometime I forget that the non-hurt feelings about each others' style goes both ways. :)
This is the kiss of death! Never give your BMs a free-for-all! You are the bride. She was honest with you about your dress, so you can be totally honest with her. I agree, that bow is just plain obnoxious!
BTW, for the record I like your dress. It suits you. 
I have a similar color scheme and I also wanted to find a bridesmaids dress that was simple and not too formal. It is WTOO style 246 and it can come in a variety of colors. I chose to do the thin ribbon in ivory, but you could choose to do it in a number of different shades instead. My girls will wear it with spaghetti straps but it can also be made strapless.
bridesmaid_dress.jpg (55.7 KB, 41 downloads) 3 years old You must log in to post.
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When we first got engaged, my FI wanted no groomsman. So I asked just my sister & cousin to be my MOH & Bridesmaid. I (thought) I could care less about there dresses. I told them to find something they liked in brown. Our colors are mainly chocolate brown and a deeper green (like moss, but more vibrant). I threw in a sort of orangey-pink sunset color as a very minimal accent color (for flowers).
Well, now my sister sent me the dress she's decided on buying (you can see it here: Bridesmaid Dress) I HATE it! Mainly the hideous bow, which she's decided to get in Tangerine. It's not the kind of sunset color I had in mind. I also think it's just too fancy. We want our wedding to be casual (see my dress pic & sweater I'll wear below) & think this pick is just not on par.
I asked her to wait to order it to let me think it over. Should I ask her to get a dress without the horrible bow? There's really no other color for the sash. Or should I just let it go & let her do whatever she wants. We have NEVER agreed on personal style - she vehemently hates my top shoe pick and told me that my dress color was ugly (it didn't hurt my feelings, I knew we'd disagree.)
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