- 6 years ago
I just had a nervous breakdown and I told him I don’t want to marry him.
I have had this feeling for a little while and today I hit bottom. I am done! Yesterday I met him when I was leaving the gym after work and he was getting in. I had to go work out because I was so stressed out. I had problems at work the whole week and with family which I kept to myself. I can’t just talk to him about anything because he always says: “You can’t compare it with I am going through”. He says that all the time, plain and clear. He hates his job,, works long hours and is miserable all the time.
So that is, I am marrying someone that I can’t even talk to. Well I was marrying him. Yesterday though I really needed his support, so I sat in his car in the parking lot and told him I was having a hard time. He said: now I am going to the gym and it is not time to talk about it and again with his motto: You can’t compare it with my problems.
I left and came home. He arrives 3 hours later and din’t say a word to me. I slept in the other bedroom. This morning I didn’t say a word but when I was leaving to work I said bye. He said: Oh, now you are talking to me. And that is when I had a nervous breakdown. I gave him the ring back and I told him I can’t marry him.
It hurts but it is the best thing to do. I just can’t leave like this. I step on eggshells all the time. I can’t say anything because he blows up on me about everything. He is emotionally abusive in so many different levels. I just can’t take this anymore.
He blames his work, his problems all on me. All I do is work: clean, cook, serve him. I just can’t live like this anymore, I can’t. I am sitting here and crying but at the same time I fell happy that I will finally get out. I am taking my stuff and going to a hotel for the night and then see what I am doing tomorrow.
I called in sick at work, so I will ahve time to get my stuff out.
You know I feel like I would never be happy with him. He needs help. I couldn’t even think about having a kid in this environment.
I am sorry for the long post. I just needed to vent. I can’t really tell my friends or family about all this. Isn’t it sad? But as I was reading about abuse, isn’t it one of the signs? You pretend everything is great and don’t tell anyone about the abuse?
Anyway, that is it for me…