I am done with my friend's 8 year old…would you be mad?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you be mad if your friend refused to play with your child bc the child hit her?
    Yes, she's only 8 years old! : (82 votes)
    23 %
    No, she's 8 years old and needs to understand that hitting and kicking a person ends friendships. : (235 votes)
    65 %
    Other. : (46 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    2174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    She does sound like a brat, but being snubbed by an adult whom she cares for is not an appropriate response.  You are, in essence, stooping to the level of an 8 year old.  I would discuss with her mother, and then next time Maggie is around, tell her that you are sad that she is so mean when she visits you sometime, and allow the conversation to go from there.

    That, or just tell your friend she can’t bring her kid over anymore.  Either way, don’t take it up with the 8 year old.

    Post # 4
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I don’t think it’s too harsh, she is freaking 8 years old and should know right from wrong. I would talk to her mom first and tell her you will not tolerate her child hitting you and yelling in your face and will no longer be playing games with her. If the mom gets defensive just tell her that you are not going to let her child walk all over you and you still will not be playing with her and you will tell her it’s because exactly what you said “Maggie, you hit me yesterday and screamed in my face. I don’t want to be your friend because you’re mean to me, so no, I don’t want to play with you.”

    She needs to learn manners and how to act at some point and it doesn’t seem like the mom disciplines her at all, this child will continue to be a brat. I know she’s only 8 but I certainly did not act like that at 8 and my 5 year old neice doesn’t act like that either.

    Post # 5
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    i think you should talk to her mother first. 

    Post # 6
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bunnyharriet:  You cannot reason with a child in the way you would with an adult.

    Go to her mother and say you arent’ comfortable watching her anymore because of her behavior.

    Again, do not try to have a heart-to-heart with an 8 year old like that. Her behavior is ultimately a reflection of her mother.

    Post # 7
    3778 posts
    Honey bee

    @bunnyharriet:  I think you are going to get sooooo flamed for this so be prepared BUT I would do exactly the same. This child needs to learn that her friends i.e you will only continue to be her friends and want to play with her if she acts nicely. Maybe getting told this by an adult who isn’t her Mum, but in child terms, i.e I don’t want to play with you because you don’t play nice with me… may really hit home to her. Maybe soften it a bit at the end by saying.. but Maggie, if you want to play nicely and speak to me nicely then I will play with you.

    Post # 8
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    I think you need to do it in the way that @OldMrsMcDonald:  sugests, because she IS only eight years old. I know that when I was younger there were times when I could be annoying, but if an adult I cared for told me that they didn’t want to be my friend I would be scarred.

    Post # 9
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    she is eight years old. it is her mother’s job to discipline her, not yours.  you are completely out of line.

    Post # 10
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would talk to her mother, not her

    Post # 11
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Talk to her mom, let her deal with the 8 year old, which it sounds as if she’s done a swimming job of so far. 😐

    Post # 12
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I wouldn’t say “I don’t want to be your friend”. I would say “It hurts my feelings” when you are mean to me. I am constantly talking with my 9 year old daughter about how we should treat our friends. This could be a great teaching tool for her, but could be devastating to a child to have an adult she cares about say “I don’t want to be your friend”. 

    Post # 13
    6631 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Who is the adult here, I would assume you. So why are you going to act like a 8 year old. And I hate to say it but that sounds like typical 8 year old behavior. I would talk to her mother and be an adult instead doing the 8 year old thing I don’t want to play with you because you are MEANNNNNN thing..

    Post # 14
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @sara_tiara:  I strongly disagree with this–the OP is NOT disciplining her at all. Another 8 year old who did not want to be hit would react the same way that the OP wants to.

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