Warning! Angry post ahead! My MIL has been on a crazy streak this week. Emailing my husband nasty emails, calling MY mother to whine about how worried she is about us. So I drafted this email that I want to send to her, but I feel like I could use a little rationality proofreading. My husband refuses to tell her to keep her nose out of our business, so I am going to have to do it, to preserve my sanity.
I plan to show this to him before sending it, but I just wanted to make sure it sounded ok before I showed it to him.
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I appreciate that you are concerned about our situation right now. I’m sure it is natural, as a parent, to worry about your children long after they reach adulthood. However, I am asking you to remember that J and I are in our mid twenties, live on our own, and are about to have a child of our own. I don’t mean for this to sound harsh, but it is time to cut the cord, so to speak. There is no need for you to be concerned about when we send out our thank you notes, how much money we have in the bank, J’s progress on his course papers or any other matters which concern J and I as a family unit. There is no need for you to call my mother and worry her with your concerns about our ability to provide for our child. For one thing, it is offensive to me that you so intensely doubt our ability to manage our own finances and be adequate parents that you are apparently spending hours upon hours fretting about it. Please be assured that all of our bills are paid on time every month and we have a small savings account that we are working to build. I have no doubt that we will struggle, but I’ve been fortunate enough to find a supportive and understanding employer who is more than happy to provide me with work I can do at home while I’m on maternity leave and give me flexible hours when I return. She has also already offered me a substantial raise from my starting pay. We have loving and devoted friends and family, many of whom have generously offered us baby supplies. We have boundless love to offer this baby. We will be fine.
Regarding the thank you notes, they are in the process of being written, and I see no reason for you to have the level of concern that you do about them. I am sure that anyone who gave us gifts cares enough about us to understand that a surprise pregnancy and me starting a new job may have delayed them slightly, and will appreciate them when they receive them. Regardless of how you feel about the matter, thank you notes are not my number one priority at the moment, and they will be sent when they are sent. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from mentioning the matter further to J or to me.
<span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-family: arial, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small”>I hope that we can have a friendly relationship as mother and daughter-in-law, but I feel that certain boundaries are required. J and I are a family now. We love each other and work well as a team. Fortunately, we have reached an age where we no longer require constant parental supervision. I am asking you to care for us without burdening us with your irrational worries and fear, and without dictating to us what and when things need to be done.