- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I guess the sole purpose of this is to give you words of encouragement. I know I don’t know you, and I probably will I ever know you personally.. but for some reason or another we are all on this site, either seeking advice or giving it… but all I want is to encourage you to be strong no matter what your circumstances are. Things happen for reasons we can’t explain…and for reasons we don’t know the answer to…yet…
I grew up in the Midwest.. born and raised. In 2009, I got into what I (stupidly) thought was a healthy relationsip. Things moved fast and we had moved into an apartment together within a month and a half of dating. We dropped the “L BOMB” way too fast. Age is no excuse, but as a 19 year old, I was stoked. Our relationship began to unravel as quickly as it had formed. It dragged on for nearly 2 years. He was cruel. He was posessive. He was abusive. We would constanly be trying to one up each other on who could hurt each other most. I let the worst of me become me. I finally had my last straw. I was finally, truly done with him.
I got a chance to travel, and explore unknown territories. One trip to Florence, Italy changed everything. I met someone! Eventually I asked him to “show me his city”. That city, happen to be on the west coast…another uncharted territory I had yet to explore as an adult. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE WEST. Although we were never formally a couple, we still had feelings for each other…I wanted to move. Leave my comfort zone…leave the midwest. But, I had all this stuff…A history of 22 years that were behind me. Well, on March 9, 2012…I had a violent and fiery shove towards leaving my comfort zone and home. It was 1:45AM and the fire alarms were going off. I lost all of everything. That stuff was gone.
Oh, but life does have its strange ways of taking us all for a rollercoaster ride. (old) His mom was diagnosed with cancer. She was one of the kindest, warmest and sensible people I knew. So, he was able to rope me back into his life that way. I had always told him the day that I left him, he would only have one woman in his life, and that would be his mom. So to hear that his mom was sick tugged at my heartstrings…because I knew her time was limited. But, (new) him on the west coast was on my mind constantly. And finally, at the end of May 2012, I booked my one way ticket to start my new adventure in life on the west coast. I had not told (old) him… because I was afraid of te reciprocations. And I had a reason to be… When I told (old) him, he betrayed me. He went back to his old ways of trying to hurt me, and in this case my reputation. TWO DAYS before I was supposed to move he sold pictures of me, my name and my home state to the whole internet. I was getting random facebook requests and messages saying; “hey hunny, nice pussy!!” , “looking good baby!!”… it took a series of text messages from a stranger in new york for me to realize that my ultimate payback was to stand my ground and to continue on with the move to the west coast. My happiness and dreams are not to be crushed by this selfish person’s actions.
West coast guy found out as well… he decided he wanted nothing to do with me… the day before I was hopping on the flight… I was still not going to let this experience ruin my chance of adventure. My dreams. I was doing this for me. 10 weeks later I was working 2 waitressing jobs, paing my rent, had made some amazing friends… and since my sublet was up for the summer… I was apartment hunting. Luckily I had found a place where I got my own room… and little did I know this apartment would change my life. It’s where I met my best friend. It’s where I met the person I am going to marry on July 19, 2014. (43 days!)
It was instant. We met on the porch that our duplex shared. He lived downstairs, I lived upstairs. We became “official” on October 11, 2012… and he proposed on January 7, 2013. It was quick. And to be fair, the first time he tried to kiss me, I said “DON’T”. I told him everything that had just happen. Internet, crazy ex and west coast guy. He never judged. And thats why I said yes after only 4 months of dating. Don’t get me wrong, we are not a “perfect couple”. We have our disagreements and fights. But I know we always will be there for each other. When I moved to the west coast, I was not looking to replace (new,old) west coast guy… and as much as I resisted, neighbor guy won me over. I feel complete with him. We are loving kitty parents. We laugh. We cry. Through all of the (mainly) downs and ups… I am thankful they happen and happy I pushed through them because they all lead me to him.
So I guess I am going to end by saying; through all the things that happen in your life… know that you are strong even if you think different. We are all meant to do something great… We are all meant to have hardships.. but you can overcome them. Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.