I am having 2 bridesmaids, but my mom is encouraging me to have more…

posted 1 week ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4704 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

LittleKisses_xo :   Stick with your plan.   Tell your mom you have made your decision and it is final.  You have done well to choose women who are close to you.    What would “look bad” would be for someone else to force you to make a choice that is not truly your own.  

Post # 3
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

 

LittleKisses_xo :  Ignore your mum and stick to your two bridesmaids. There is no meaning in having another one just for the bridal party to look better. I’ve read so many stories about nightmarish bridesmaids here and most of the time it is about a bridesmaid they didn’t care to have in the first place. 

Post # 4
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had just two bridesmaids as well and wouldn’t have had it any other way! Your wedding party should consist of those nearest and dearest to YOU, not people that are getting shoved down your throat. My MOH was my best friend, and my bridesmaid was a close friend to both of us. The three of us were as thick as thieves, and I just didn’t see the need to add anyone else to the mix. 

Just having two girls practically eliminated any bridesmaid drama over picking dresses or any cattiness from people feeling left out, not knowing each other, etc. I was able to help my girls out with the costs of their dresses, spoil them with super nice thank-you gifts, and have a much more relaxing time (and not quite as early of a morning!) getting ready at the salon. DH had four groomsmen, also his nearest and dearest who all know each other, and the pictures turned out great! Each girl got escorted back up the aisle with a guy on each arm! It was hilarious!

Only add your FI’s niece if YOU want to. Otherwise, stick to your guns!

Post # 5
Member
6552 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

LittleKisses_xo :  Not trying to disrespect your mom, but she has a very weird idea of what looks bad and what bridesmaids are for. You get it, so stick to your guns. If she brings it up again, I would use the Broken Record technique with her. That’s where, when someone won’t take no for an answer, you just keep repeating the same thing in the same tone over and over no matter how they ask. Here’s an example:

  • Mom: This venue is beautiful, but it’s so big — you’d need another girl up there.
  • You: I’m not adding another bridesmaid.
  • Mom: Emma adores you, she’d love to be your bridesmaid.
  • You: I’m not adding another bridesmaid.
  • Mom: But it’s going to look so bare, do you want people to think you have no friends?
  • You: I’m not adding another bridesmaid.
  • Mom: I don’t understand, what is it going to hurt?
  • You: I’m not adding another bridesmaid.
  • Mom: Is that all you’re going to say?
  • You: I’m not adding another bridesmaid.
  • Mom: Fine, it’s your wedding I guess.
  • You [to yourself]: YESSSSSSSSS!
Post # 7
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

No! I’m literally having 2 bridesmaids as well. Honestly, who cares? Have 20 have none… 

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Ignore her. More BMs is more trouble IMO. I wish I’d stuck with just having my MOH. 

Post # 9
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Two bridesmaids is just fine. Tell your mother ‘please stop pushing me to add another bridesmaid. I have chosen the ones I want and the matter is final.’ Then any time she tries again just straight up pretend like she didn’t say anything. 

Post # 10
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

LittleKisses_xo :   My advise would be to stick to your guns! Fiance and i have 6 on each side and had we both known better we agree we would have had less. I think 2 on each side looks just perfect, but thats not really what it is about. Its about having those you are closest with stand up beside you and you  both have done just that! Hope you have a wonderful wedding day 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I second what everyone else has said!  It’s about who do you want up ther with you?  I will only have two bridesmaids in my wedding – my SIL and my best friend.  My FI will have 4 groomsmen so it is a little uneven but we both are able to have the people we want up there with us!  Stand firm in what YOU want!

Post # 12
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Tell your mom to **** off 

Post # 13
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Ignore your mom…it’s your wedding, not hers!

Post # 14
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Next time she brings it up, say “mom, we’ve had this conversation several times already, have you forgotten? Maybe you should go see your doctor if you’re having memory issues.”  I bet you’ll never hear anything more about it.

Post # 15
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

LittleKisses_xo :  This is your wedding, not mom’s!  Keep the 2 bridesmaids you chose.

 

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