Post # 1
Hi I wrote yesterday and want the posts to be what you think…We have excellent communication get along wonderfully. It is not a matter of no communication, we are 55 and 66 and don’t play games in our relationship….I just want to know what happened to others who had a shy guy who was hard to get to say I love you and will you marry me….I am not concerned with the other parts and do not think they have anything to do with it, We are ready he is telling people I am his wife, I am almost with a ring If I let it be his idea….my MOM always says its best to let the big things be HIS idea and I am old fashioned and not going to ask him if I have to wait another year or two….Help me with what you have seen in friends or yourself, not with what you would do.
Post # 3
@diane.woodson1: After 55 years of life, I would like to think that I would be wise and mature enough to realize that I don’t need to wait on a man to tell me what is going to happen with my life. For my DH and I, marriage was an open conversation. I never worried about if he wanted to marry me or when he would ask. We talked about it.
So if you such great communication, communicate! Ask him where he sees this heading and see if you agree. I’m not sure why you mention being old-fashioned as being a reason to not discuss your future. Plenty of women here (including myself) had surprise engagments but still discussed marriage beforehand.
Post # 4
@hisgoosiegirl: agreed. We talked about it early on, because I didn’t see the point in wasting time in a relationship with someone who didn’t have the same intentions and goals as me. We knew we were going to get married, but the engagement was a complete surprise, as was the ring
Post # 5
I agree you need to talk to him. And you do need to ask him what’s on the horizon or if you “have to wait another year or two.” If marriage is important to you, and he doesn’t see marriage in his future, you should probably know sooner rather than later.
Post # 6
thanks for the two replies, I would love more though. I am pretty sure he wants to marry me, he talked alot about it over a year ago. I do not have any idea that I will be waiitng forever or anything like that. We have talked about this but not recently…I want more than even getting married to him, for it to be his idea, he was married before and I am working to make everything not perfect but the best it can be for us at home, in hopes that he will be brave and ask me. He hasn’t said he loved me in a while, but talks of it, so that is good enought for me. He is kind, thoughtful, giving, loving even if he never hardly ever says it, I would rather that than him say it all the time and treat me bad. I guess I asked the question wrong, all I want to know is if it seems to anyone else, or am I just thinking he is trying so hard to bring up the subject….I have been married before and hurt…To me why not marry each other when we already live together, he consults me and I him on all important things…..I hope this is clearer but I have a migraine and must go walk…Thanks everyone…
Post # 7
I agree with others who say you simply need to talk to him about this. I don’t think marriage should be just one person’s idea – it should be a joint decision since there are 2 parties involved.
Does he know what YOU want to get married?
Post # 8
I agree with everyone else, you should just talk with him about this. Let him know this is what you want and find out where he stands on the issue. Relationships are partnerships and important decisions are made together. Marriage is a very important decision and should be discussed out in the open.
Whatever is important to you, as an individual, is also important, don’t forget.
You say you’re ok with him not telling you he loves you. I would not be ok with that, at all. If someone feels the feelings they should be able to speak out the words, IMO. Maybe you can help teach him about that. Unless you’re really ok with him not saying he loves you out loud.
Talk to him about everything!