- 5 years ago
Hey Bees, yet another bee gone undercover post. I’m afraid this is going to be very long so please bear with me.
Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years, we have talked about the future, marriage, kids etc and I think a proposal was coming soon.
Last Wednesday night, he was in the bathroom and his phone was just sitting there next to me. I don’t know why, but I just went and looked. I didn’t look at messages/calls, I went straight onto Internet history. From the prior Sunday he had looked at around 15 transsexual porn movies and later on had looked at adult friend finder. I immediately went to find him and told him what I saw. We had had an argument on the Sunday, he said he went on adult friend finder as he felt lonely but immediately came off it. When I asked him about the transsexual porn he said he looked because it’s tabboo and he was curious.
The following day at work I created a fake account on adult friend finder and saw that he actually has an account on it. I took a screenshot and immediately went to confront him with it. He told me it was an old account he didn’t even know was there any more. I went on to the account and all of his favourites etc were added around 3 years ago, the favourites were mostly, if not all, transsexuals. He had made 3 membership payments to the site, the last one being jan 2010.
He still maintains he does not like transsexuals, and that it’s just because they are taboo etc. he let me look at his 2 email accounts to verify he has no activity on adult sites.
We saw a couples councillor this past Monday and began to touch upon some of our issues, I clearly have trust issues as I decided to look at his phone in the first plac.
On Tuesday I remembered another email account he hadn’t shown me. I logged on as luckily it had the same password as his other accounts. Here I found out he has been taking nude pictures of himself and emailing them to people, one of which was definitely a transsexual. I found 3 instances of this in the time we have been together, the most recent being just over a year ago. Once again I confront him and he says it’s only to transsexuals and after a long emotional talk he told me the name of the website he finds them on, I logged on and last visit was Aug 11. He said he doesn’t actually remember doing these things.
We had an emergency appointment with our counsellor last night and she said she has come across this issue before, a stress, trauma or rejection causes him to do this and not actually recall doing it after. Almost like a Jekyll and Hyde situation I suppose. Without sounding rude to transsexuals he says they make him feel sick and has never met up with one and would never want to.
He went to stay in a hotel last night because I cannot be around him. I am in bits, our lovely happy future we had planned is in tatters and I don’t know what to do. Due to the nature of this situation I just don’t feel able to talk to friends/family and I don’t know what to do