@sherryberry: OMG did you steal my story?!? haha BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ALONE and this is me 100%
It’s hard to not be jealous. In the case of my FSIL….she gets a lot of what she has through manipulation. Yes, she did get a 10000.00 ring, a 27000.00 wedding and big new house for her and her new husband (Mr VB’s bro).
UGH it irks me to no end sometimes!
I know I shouldn’t but I just remind myself that of the gossip I’ve heard lol-She only got proposed to because she basically threatened to walk, and everyone knows it and talks about it all the time. She must be insecure about something because she’s always talking about how expensive her ring is.
She also had a very expensive wedding, and it turned out she couldn’t afford it. FFIL had to do physical labor at the venue in order for them to be able to afford the venue, and immediate family were all told to pay 125.00 a plate. Very tacky.
Then they had to have a house and bought it right before the wedding…but there was no furniture in it when we saw it and they had been living there for almost 2 months because they couldn’t afford it.
Sometimes you just don’t know how people like to ‘pretend’. I know it’s frustrating, and it’s soooooo hard to not be a little jealous. I would talk to my therapist about it and she’d say “Of course you are jealous. She’s got the life you want”. And while I hated my therapist for saying it and wanted to deny it…in that moment I knew she was right, I do want that life for us in some ways.
Mr VB and I are probably a good year or two away from getting engaged, but we are working towards it together. We are probably 3-4 years away from being married and 5-6 years from home ownership. If I’m lucky I’ll have achieved these things by the time I’m 40…as I’m 30 now.
Try and take it with a grain of salt. Allow yourself to feel jealous, take a deep breath and exhale. It’s possible that she’s jealous of you for something. Could be your committment to your man/relationship, it could be your sunny outlook on life, or your ability to make better relationships with people in the family. You just never know, because like you would never say that you are jealous of her, she would never say that she is jealous of you.
Just try to be the best person you can be and let it go. Sorry this is long….It’s always good for me to vent somewhere about my frustration over my FSIL (and because of how cunning/manipulative she is it’s hard to be just happy for her) and also type out words of encouragement and remind myself that hey, it’s okay to be jealous just be sure to not obsess over it and carry yourself like a classy lady by never saying it outloud.