Post # 1
I must say first that I am sorry if this post offend anyone but I need to vent.
I came to conclusion that I am JEALOUS of a girl who I was friends with and pretty much no longer keep in touch with. She is an attractive girl. She is a promiscuous girl. She is rather selfish and she is extremely dependent on a man. She does not place friendship high in her life and that’s pretty much had me distant from her… And I am none of how she is except the attractiveness.
She is married and I am not.
I feel like crap and I don’t get that she has a husband and I am waiting. I am a girl who has always wanted to be married. Life sucks sometimes.
I hate that I feel this way!!! I hate being a jealous bitch!
Post # 3
But you won’t be waiting forever!! Think of how many girls you know who are probably very jealous of YOU simply for having a wonderful boyfriend who loves you!
Really though, we’re girls. We all tend to think this way at one point or another. I think it’s good that you can admit you feel jealous and it’s fine to vent about it. You seem to *get* it, that you know you shouldn’t be super concerned with Mrs. Selfish ex-friend. So, try to just focus on your relationship and ways to keep your mind off of waiting (a la Mr. Bee). And continue to vent away on the waiting boards. 🙂
Post # 4
aaahh THANK YOU SO MUCH… this stuff just makes me wonder if I’m not good enough or everything in between. it just feels aweful! and you know what it also sucks to admit it!!! I really can’t tell any of my real friends how I feel about this!
Post # 5
@gramgeek: I have a post completely dedicated to being jealous..so I know how you feel! It sucks! Not to mention all the facebook updates of people getting engaged/married all the time.
Hang in there! After all, Karma’s a Biatch for those types of people 🙂
Post # 6
You’re jealous of a selfish promiscuous married woman???? I don’t get it.
Post # 7
@Widespread Panic: She’s upset that this woman has the honor of being married, and to date, gramgeek does not. I understand how she feels, because I’ve seen lots of women around me who seem to me less than stellar wife-material who married their men only to use up their money and boss them around. I hate it that they get the respect that goes with being Mrs. So-and-so and I get a combination of pity, confusion and whatever else people direct at women who are with men who are slow with the whole marraige thing.
If you’re not in the relationship to simply have a “sugar daddy”, and feel you’re doing things the “right” way by being caring, sacrificing and working together to build a life with your SO, but still don’t have the honor of being married, seeing women who not assertive, but are frankly b!tches get tha makes you feel that you deserve it and they don’t.
All I can say, gramgeek, is that you know your relationship is a healthier one and in the long run, I’m sure your happiness in the future will out way any jealousy you feel now.
Post # 8
Well you definitely don’t know for sure if she actually has a happy marriage, right? Just because she’s married doesn’t mean she has everything. I understand your jealousy because unfortunatley one of my very close friends had to overcome it when I got married (she was very open and honest with me through the whole thing), but the thing is it’s not just about the marriage it’s about the life you’re now living. I know for sure that my friend wouldn’t be happy in my current life. Not because anything is bad or wrong, but because she’s such a different person than me. So it’s not as black and white as married or not married, it’s more bigger picture.
Post # 9
I think sometimes its normal to feel jealousy at timees, especially when its someone who you feel doesnt deserve it as much as you do. Fact is, life isnt always fair, and doesnt always make perfect sense, but just try not to let this jealousy overwhelm you. Jealousy can be very destructive if you allow it to be.
Post # 10
Girls, Thank you for coming in and sharing thoughts.
Isilme explained for me so well.
I know that I will not know whats going on behind doors, about anything in life not just about marriage. But I just feel some sort of ‘its not fair’ kind of thing that a woman like her seems to get what she wants when some honest people have difficulty. I guess I’m confused as well.
Post # 11
I think you may have some odd ideas about marriage. Just having a husband doesn’t mean squat.
Having a happy, healthy, life enhancing relationship with a spouse–that’s enviable.
But to be jealous of someone simply because they bagged themselves a husband? What’s that about?
Post # 12
well no I’m not talking about woman begging a man to be her husband, I wasn’t even thinking about that…
in this particular situation, she got married to stay in the country and live in the city she has always dreamed of. they have long distance marriage! they got married and once she got her visa she got a job in her dream city and moved without her ‘husband’. But I guess it works for them…
I really don’t get it.
Post # 13
It is difficult when you’ve kept your nose to the grindstone and done things *mostly* by the book…worked on a career, been loyal to your friends and SO, played house, been responsible with money, etc…. and yet you’re waiting while your other younger non-committal flaky friends who are still in the bar-hopping crazy stage (even in their upper 20s) seem to catch a man and get married almost overnight (whether it be a shotgun wedding or not).
No, I am not jealous of marrying someone I haven’t dated for very long just b/c I got knocked up. But I am a little jealous that someone gets that marriage and family that I want, without ever having to settle down for it. It makes you ask yourself…. what am I doing wrong? what’s wrong with me?
….and then I hear my mother’s critical voice in my head saying, “If you’d just lose weight, you’d be such a pretty girl, and then you would be married.” Ugh….I feel fat. *Cry*
Post # 14
@gramgeek: I know exactly how you feel. I’m ashamed to say that during some of my lower points as a single lady, I would sometimes sit around with my friends and we’d say things like, “How is SHE married and we’re not?” (“She” referring to some mutual acquaintance not particularly known for her kindness, intelligence, etc.)
But remember, this woman has to be her (selfish, dependent, friendless?) self for her whole life, and you get to be your fabulous self. That is all that matters!
Post # 15
Don’t look for the perfect man and you’ll find one. Don’t beg for a ring and you’ll get one. And don’t compare yourself to other women. You are your own woman. celebrate who you are and what you have to offer.
Post # 16
Not “begging”, I said “bagging”, as in going hunting & bagging an animal.