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I am just so at a loss right now! What is the polite answer if someone ...

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    asks you what you'd like for Christmas? H's sister keeps texting me asking me what I'd like and giving me categories to choose from! I tell her that she doesn't have to get me anything ... and I haven't said what I would like either. It's weird for me because I know that it's rough right now ... and everyones budgets are tighter - even ours. So who has money to blow on xmas gifts?

    How do I answer? I hate being put on the spot!

    Do you ask people what they'd like? If I don't ask her back will it seem rude of me?

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I don't really ask people what they want because we don't have the money for presents right now.  I would give her a few inexpensive ideas.  She might want to get you something just because you are new to the family!

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I never know what to say to that - I feel like that's such an awkward question!

     
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    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    It's pretty common amongst my family to tell one another what you want for Christmas/ask each other.  My mom and MIL have already called to ask us what we want.  When they ask, I'm honest and give a few suggestions.  I try to give a variety of price ranges, so that they can decide on how much they want to spend.  I think, for us, I'd rather suggest a few things than end up with stuff we don't need/want.

     
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    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    I don't really ask people what they want because I like to think I'm a pretty good gift-giver.  But FMIL makes me give her a super-detailed list and she buys EXACTLY what's on it.

    Just give her a couple of inexpensive ideas -- scarves, gloves, makeup, etc. 

     
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    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    Our families are starting to ask us what we want for Christmas, and we've been telling people, "Oh wow, that's nice of you. We'll have to think about it and get back to you."

    We both decided a few nights ago that since our wedding was in late September, and we got everything we could ever want for our wedding, we're telling people not to get us anything. If they REALLY want to give us something, they'll have to get creative :) We really just have absolutely no need for anything right now.

     
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    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    My in-laws all use amazon wishlists and it is HEAVEN. All year long we all just toss stuff onto our wish list and then at Christmas we all get each other things from our wish lists. It's fantastic because there is always a bunch of price points to choose from and everybody gets something they love and there is none of the awkwardness around asking people what they want. Plus you can add stuff from any website (not just amazon) so I can even put my etsy favs on my list. Easy-Breezy! I wish my side of the family would agree to do this too but they aren't all online yet.

     
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    Jacqi    February 28, 2009  

    You could just say, "I'm actually considering not doing gifts this year, and instead focusing on spending time with friends and family and remembering how lucky I am."

     
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    cheerful    September 2009 - eloped  

    Tell her a category of item that comes in a range of prices, that way she can choose whatever works for her budget. "Kitchen" works pretty well - everything from $5 gadgets to $500 pots, you know? If you trust her taste, decorate vases, ceramics. Need some tumblers? Snifters? Dinner napkins? Or "something nice for the bath" also can come in a huge range of prices for bubble bath and lotions. 

     
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    LittleLynx    May 28, 2011   Canada

    This might sound weird, but everyone in my family asks everyone else what they want for Christmas, so we tend to make a short list. I guess you could think of it as a Christmas "registry" Wink You make a little list of a range of things... less expensive stuff and things people could go in on together if they want to. 

    Again, that's my family. If it's weird for you to ask for something specific, you could always ask for some of her delicious Christmas cookies (or whatever else she is good at making), or just go to my Dad's stand-by answer: "All I want for Christmas is to get to spend it with the people I love!" haha... cheesy, but he doesn't have to answer the question anymore!

    And I don't think it's rude if you don't ask her back. It's good to ask if you have no idea what to get for someone, so they don't get something that never gets used, but if you already have an idea it's not really necessary.

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Thank you.

     
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    Dancy905    February 5, 2010  

    FI's family is like that too. They always know exactly what they're getting for Christmas. I think it's weird. My mom usually asks but I never know what to say. No one's asked this year - my Aunt said buy a gift for me would be easy this year because of the registry. LOL I don't think that's how it's supposed to work, but whatever works & makes it easier I guess. LOL

     
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    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    We make lists as well with a wide range, and we also draw names in the immediate family (there are 11 of us) which makes things much easier. We have a price range from home-made and up. 

     

     
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    mechiebaby    June 4, 2010   Malaysia / Washington DC

    @LittleLynx  My mom's standard answer when we were young was "Good children!" which she never got, hehe. what can I say? My brothers and I were naughty!

     
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    LittleLynx    May 28, 2011   Canada

    @mechiebaby - hahaha!! I tried to throw my folks off one year, and when they asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I put a big grin on my face and said, "Men!"

    ...So my dad went out and bought me a bag of little plastic army men. He laughed so hard when I opened that one!

     
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    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I ask for a pony every year. Still haven't gotten a real one, but two years ago my brother got me a My Little Pony wearing a cowboy hat. It was super cute.

    Amazon wish lists are AWESOME! Mr. KM used to keep one, but stopped so everything on there is outdated.

    I really like the idea of just doing a gift exchange where you draw only one name out of a hat. Could you suggest that for the whole family or is it too late?

     
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    Ms. Min Pin    October 3, 2010   Lives in NY; Wedding in New Hampshire

    just come up with something small...like a gift card to sephora for like $25...you can always use it for wedding makeup ;)

     

     
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    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I always ask people what they want (unless I came up with a great idea on my own) and my family asks me what I want.  Can you give her a broad idea, maybe "something for the kitchen"?  My friends family uses wishpot.com for their wish list and its great.

     
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    BirdofaFeather    April 10, 2010   Encinitas, CA

    we always give christmas lists too. makes my mom and FMIL happy to know that they bought us something we wanted. not a ton of surprise, but always more practical!

     

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