Post # 1
so im not really sure why i am even writing this…. i think i will just feel better once i get it all out. i am a full time college student and i work as a waitress about 25-30 hours a week. i also go to zumba for an hour everyday which is basically my only ‘alone time’ (it is like an escape for me and i really enjoy it) and alot of my time is spend studying, doing wedding stuff, and i handle all of our finances…. so needless to say i have alot on my plate right now. anyways tonight i just got really overwhelmed and i just cried for almost an hour! :*( my dog peed on the rug in our bedroom, fi was playing with them (we have 2 dogs) and i guess she got a little excited plus she had just drank a bunch of water… well our comforter was halfway on the ground so that got pee on it too…. which is soooooooo convenient because my washer is broken (and has been for a week now). i was pretty upset because fi had told me hed take it in after work today so it could get fixed but instead he came home and slept on the couch all night. ugh!
if thats not enough, our hot tub is broken too and we just got done shelling out a couple hundred dollars to get that fixed. i just got a 600 dollar bill from my doctor in the mail 2 days ago. i also discovered tonight that one of the dogs chewed up one of my favorite shirts (which cost about 60 dollars) 🙁 they have chewed socks and stuff before so go figure theyd pick my fave shirt.
oh and as i sit here my livingroom is a mess… it needs dusted and swept, the dog toys are everywhere, the diningroom table is covered in mail and papers and homework. the fishtank needs a couple of inches of water and it looks like crap right now bc fi hasnt been keeping up on it (its his deal… id rather just get rid of it but he insists on keeping it even though he cant take care of it properly)….
i just spent an hour cleaning the kitchen and its still not done… OMG…. i just feel like i have too much going on and i cant keep up! i tried to talk to fi tonight and he just got upset and then i cried some more. all i want is a little help… for gosh sakes. i cant live like this forever.
Post # 3
I am so sorry….
I don’t really know what to say. I would suggest talking to your FI about being overwhelmed, but it seems you already tried that. Maybe you could make a to do list listing chores for each of you and ask your FI’s opinion on it. You both may have to compromise on a couple of things, but at least things would be divided out. Make sure to list things like work and school hours too. It will help to see who is available when to do each chore, and then maybe schedule a date night in there somewhere.
Post # 4
Second, make a list of everything that needs to be done in the next week. Put it on a schedule. Include school, work, gym, cleaning, repairs, etc. Then sit down with FI and sort out who is going to do what and exactly when. I always find tasks are much easier to handle once I have a plan of attack.
Finally, take an hour of time for yourself besides Zumba. Take a bath, read a book, whatever will take your mind off of your situation for the moment. Allow yourself to scream and cry if you need to. Then pick yourself up and accomplish those tasks.
I know what it is like to be so insanely stressed with your world spinning out of control and so much is piling up nothing gets accomplished. So let yourself have your me time, make your plan of attack, and relax once it is all done 🙂
PS. After you feel like you’ve played catch-up, I would make a “chore chart” and separate the house duties by day/person. Also, if he doesn’t take care of his tank, even after you set our chore responsibilities, I would make it all “mysteriously disappear”
Post # 5
We all have those moments when you look around and it seems like your world is just coming apart. When I went thru college I had two baby boys, a house, and worked 35 hours a week to pay bills. My house was a wreck at times but i just kept telling myself “this is temporary”. My husband at one point had a dog, a gecko, fish, a tortoise, and a bearded dragon all of which he could not possibly take care of. You cant sweat the small stuff. You have a man that loves you, two dogs willing to lick your face until you laugh, and an amazing hour to zumba! I hope you feel better and things always look better after ice-cream.
Post # 6
@noritake22: i think thats a good idea, ill try the chore board… maybe i will make it tomorrow night with fi when he is in a better mood :/
@nut9108: i lol’d at “mysteriously disappear” – hed kill me!!! haha his ‘baby’ catfish mikey lives in there! (and hes like over a foot long, so not really a baby)
i know this is all temporary- its just soooooo much at once! thank god my mom is helping me with this wedding or id be so lost!
@15happyyears: icecream sounds sooooo good… but i have to weigh in for weightwatchers and i dont wanna spoil my weightloss! lol maybe some frozen yogurt!
Post # 7
LOL!! I should switch to frozen yogurt too. Im so glad your feeling better.
Post # 8
@stephanie63087: Steph, just stop! Seriously. Nothing is that important. What would it hurt to leave the kitchen and pick up where you left off.
The one lesson in household management I learned from my mom was a what NOT to do. Mom would get overwhelmed with “stuff”. Resentment would build and suddenly everything would piss her off. I swore never to overreact to things that I could overlook. Tonight, he cooked, and left the kitchen in a major mess…then fell asleep. I ventured into the kitchen, packed the leftovers into the fridge, moved the mess to the sink, then took my shower, and came to chat with you guys. Not stressing at all.
It’s not worth it kiddo! Your plate is already full and you’re doing an awesome job juggling. Most of the other items are money related which is the number one way to drive yourself crazy with worry. Do what you can and let the rest go mentally. Prioritize and deal with things one at a time.
and BREATHEEEEE 🙂
Post # 9
@stephanie63087: I know how it feels to have a lot on your plate. Just try to relax. Sometimes I feel like I have so much responsibility and its little things like dishes, sweeping, or even cooking that get me down. When I used to feel like this I turned into a serious person and shut down.
My SO started to notice this when we first moved in together and he asked me what was wrong. I told him how I felt and that there was all this responsibility on me to keep things together. I told him how all these thoughts about taking care of things run through my mind and cause me to shut down. After I told him this he said tell me what needs to be done and we will take care of it together. Some things can wait, but others I feel like need to be done right away, my SO is always willing to help. Talk to your SO and tell him you are stressed and need his help. Take Care and feel better.
Post # 10
Now add a kid to what you just described and you’ve been married for 3 years 🙂
Everyone’s life is like this at times (sometimes all the time) I have had the same exact breakdowns and freakouts. Plus when everything is going wrong and the house is a mess it makes me feel crazy like my whole entire life is a mess, when really it’s just the living room. It’s all good. Deep breaths.
Post # 11
thanks everyone…. i feel alot better today 🙂 i guess im just a little ocd about the house being clean which doesnt help matters haha. i think sometimes it might help to have a mini meltdown because it definately puts everything out there and makes me think about what is really important and what isnt (ie a dirty living room ;))
Post # 12
i know exactly how you feel! to-do lists and delegating chores to fi should be your best friends.
and it DEFNITELY helps to have a mini-meltdown once in awhile! don’t feel bad about that!