(Closed) I am just…so…frustrated!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

… honestly, I think it’s good that you have those timelines in your head. But on the flip, I’m glad your boyfriend has his own timelines. I’d sit down and tell him your timeline, just to let him know, so that he’s not blindsided by anything and to give him time to think about things and what he feels is right for him, as well as you. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow… this sounds a lot like what i went through before i got engaged!

We got the information from our apartments about renewing our lease and he asked what we had to do to renew the lease and i let him know that there wasnt anything we had to do… i told him that while i loved him that i was choosing to llive apart because i was not going to be one of those live in girlfriends that live with their boyfriends for 5+ years without getting engaged or getting married (that would have driven me crazy). i basically laid out the plans that if he wanted to get married to me then great but if he didnt know or was still unsure then i was moving out (i lived with him for a year) and i would continue to date him until he was sure about something. He let me know that he wanted to marry me and told me a proposal was coming and then it took a few months. But you should let your guy know that  if an engagement.. or an engagement to an engagement was coming, that you would feel more stable in your relationship. I think he might have something to say and if you ask him point blank then… he should answer point blank and then you might get some closure.

Post # 5
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

When does he find out if he’s accepted for school? I honestly would probably let him know or perhaps closer to your lease date being up have apartment guides around the house or something like that. And then just let him know. I don’t think it’s giving him an ultimatum, you’re simply doing what you need to do.

Post # 8
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yeah… i like cres advice 😀 with the apartment guides.

I think its TOTALLY normal to feel the way you do. I dont know much about law school (it takes a long time im assuming) but it sounds like he has a timeline set up and i really think when you have the “we need to live apart if we arent getting engaged” talk that you will get soo much more closure. i know i did and the waiting part was torture but at least i knew it was coming…

Post # 9
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

i think it’s important for you two to sit down and discuss timelines, especially if you’re wary of signing another lease without some form of a firm committment. just tell him what you’ve said here. i have this conversation with my boyfriend occassionaly just to see how our lives are measuring up with our proposed timeline because you know how life tends to be uncooperative with plans. it’s important for the both of you to be on the same page and comfortable with the decision. good luck!

Post # 10
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

i hope he does propose at that year! he sounds like a good guy that you can trust. Waiting SUCCKS!!!!!!

Post # 11
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I got my first acceptance letter right after Christmas… he should know pretty soon, hopefully. 🙂

I hope you can find a way to let him know about not renewing the lease unless you get a ring without blindsiding him, though. You should stick to your guns (if it’s important to you not to continue to live together without being engaged, you shouldn’t do it!), but it sounds like you don’t want to lose him, either… so tread carefully here! Even if it’s not an ultimatum, it will certainly seem like one without great care.

Post # 13
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Perhaps you could go ahead and let him know you’re going to start looking for apartments once your lease is up because you don’t want to put any pressure on him engagement wise etc.  You feel that you aren’t living up to your own expectations if you continue to live with him without being married.

Post # 15
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Frustrated (love your avatar!!)but march is only 2 months away. I think it’s so awesome of you to wait until law school is taken care of.  We are definitely here for you to vent until you are ready to have the conversation with him.

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