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thank you so much for all of your comments on my posts about my relationship. unfortunately, i really had to hit my bottom with D before i was ready to leave. things have stayed bad. it's to the point where if i try to tell him something that's bothering me, he goes out of his way not to do any thing to improve it. and tells me i'm trying to emotionally control him by telling him how i feel. his temper has shown it's ugly head way too many times. every time i try to have a heart to heart with him. he has been witholding affection simply because i ask for a little more of it. it's gotten to the point where he hardly ever gives me any hugs or kisses, simply to show me "i can't control him" so i am leaving today. last night he came to bed after playing video games all night and giving me zero attention. i said "come here you big lug" in a playful voice. he didn't budge. it's been like that for about 3 weeks. i also had another epiphony the other day. i was watching an Alicia Keys video and it showed a married couple eating dinner with their child and the husband was yelling at the wife while the little boy watched uncomfortably. then the man throws his dinner plate across the room and storms off. i started crying and i thought, oh my God. that's going to be us if i stay with him. so i'm gone. and i have NO doubts. you ladies really helped me realize how bad things are long before i would have on my own! thank you so much.
Good for you. It takes a lot of strength to walk away but I'm sure you'll be much happier in your life having made this decision.
Wow, that's really strong of you to make that decision! I wish the best for you, and am happy for you.
Good for you! You will have everything you deserve in time :)
Good for you! You were so right and strong to walk away from this situation. I hope in the future you get everything you deserve and more.
Oh yay! I am just happy you realized this before it was too late :) You deserve so much better than that fool! I wish you luck, stay strong :)
Good for you! You deserve someone who cares and who gives you affection freely without you having to remind him.
That's one of the hardest decisions to make. Like everyone said, it takes someone with a lot of strength and a good head on their shoulders to pick up and leave a tough relationship. I'm so sorry things have come to this. But everyone deserves to be with someone who wants, loves, and respects them as much as they do. It's not a one way street. Happiness is priceless. And you deserve happiness. Hope things start to look up soon.
It sounds like you made the right choice, even though it may be a hard one. You deserve so much more.. keep your head up!
I am SO happy to hear tht you made this very mature decision for yourself. No one deserves to be bullied and intimidated!!
Good. You've decided...now you have to make a plan and follow through with it.
I am so glad to hear that you have decided to put yourself first!! This was obviously a hard decision for you to make, and although other bees have told you to leave him in the past, I'm glad you came to the realization on your own. You deserve to be in a fully functioning relationship with someone who loves you and can show it, and I don't see that happening with your current partner. So so so happy for you!
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: the only reason i haven't done it yet is because he's still sleeping
Good for you. Don't let him manipulate you into staying. You can do this. We support you!!
Good for you there are a lot of women that just arent strong enought to leave!! You are doing whats right for you, and I totally respect you for that!! I know this is a hard decision and even harder to go through with bc there was a time that things like this werent happening. But Im so glad that you are doing whats best for you and your future!!! You are such a strong woman!!!
I know I don't know you but I'm so preoud of you! Leaving my controlling and abusive ex was so hard, but it was SO worth it. I had a similar "lightbulb moment". He had bought a new house and asked me to move in. I had just recently witnessed a fight between his parents and it FINALLY occured to me-that will be us! I will be miserable and walking on eggshells all the time, we will have kids who can't stand being home, and eventually our kids will be just like me or just like their father. I did not want to be a part of that cycle. Congratulations! You are doing what's best for you! And if you ever start to second guess your decision-don't.
Good for you for making such a difficult decision. Make sure you have your close support system in place... you'll probably want to go out and talk about this with friends/family and physically separate yourself tonight. Surround yourself by people who are on your side and stay strong.
I dated a verbally abusive guy for 7 years... when he drank, it got even worse and he'd throw things and belittle me even more. After leaving him, I realized there was very little I was actually leaving... our relationship had deteriorated to be more of a burden than anything. Two months later, I placed a personal ad to meet new people. Two and a half years later, I'm engaged to one of the guys who answered my ad. You WILL find someone who is better for you. ((((hug)))
I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Best wishes to you. I hope everything works out great :)
I'm really glad that you made the decision to leave, and you should do it immediately. From all of your other posts, he sounds so incredibly controlling. Getting out now is absolutely the right thing for you to do. Now stay strong, get the heck out of there and don't let him talk you into coming back! We're here to listen if youare feeling sad one day!!
totally proud. It must be my hormones, but I welled up a little, in a good way.
I'm proud of you for putting yourself first! Let us know how you are doing.
I'm so proud of you! It's not going to be easy. Surround yourself with positive family and friends, get counseling if you need it, and remember why you left him. Sometimes they come crawling back and it's easy to forget.
You're a stronger woman for it, and you won't regret it. Please let us know how you are doing!
I am so sorry that you have to go threw this but in the same time, I'm happy you are making the decision that's good for you. Stay strong and best of luck to you!
best of luck for the future and i'm so glad you're strong enough to go through with your decision. <3
I'm so glad you are being so strong and doing what's best for YOU!!! You deserve to be with someone who cherishes and loves you, and also gives you the respect you deserve. You know... a great closing line would be, "you're right, I can't control you... but I can control me... so I'm gone."
Good for you. :)
Keep us posted! And of course, like other bees stated, good for you. Definitely the right choice.
You're doing the right thing. Best wishes and much happiness in the future!
GOOD FOR You!! your going to have a better SO in the long runn dont even worry!! (hugss tighty ) )))
I know your life will be blessed with a guy that deserves you and respects you in every way. This must be soooooo hard, but you are doing something a lot of women would be affraid of doing and I think you are so increadibly brave. Good luck
It is so good that you are standing up for yourself. You will find what you deserve!
Good for you! I am really glad that you realized what he is like now, before things got too far deep. I wish you nothing but the best!
Hope you're doing well and you did leave him! Come back with an update if you can!
I'm so sorry you had to make this choice, and am glad you have shown yourself strong enough to make it. ((((hugs)))).
If I can offer a bit of advice - I'd pack my things up as quickly as I could when he's not home, as soon as you ahve a place lined up to go. Also, be prepared for the concilitory act once he realizes you are NOT bluffing,a nd the he might even go as far as to whip out a ring to coherce you to stay, or get you back. Make up your mind NOW how to deal with that, don't let him catch you off guard.
You don't want to be packing amidst an argument, and you should make sure that anyhting that leaves the house with you is yours 100% - that he can't contest your right to it and be a d!ck and accuse you of stealing should he go the angry route instead of the "let's make up" one. He might even do both - grovel a little until it's evident that that won't work, then call the cops on you (think you've expressed that his anger issues are a big problem) or overreact in another way. Be prepared, pack, and maybe get a girlfriend or relative to help you get out quickly (a male friend would just open another can of worms).
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