I am living in the middle of a grown man sleep over

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

EncoreBridetoBe:  Create a chore chart and make everyone responsible. The longer you let this go on the harder it will be to fix. Let them know that Ethan may not work out as a roommate if he doesn’t help around the house.

Post # 4
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

EncoreBridetoBe:  I would leave it about a month for the novelty to die down, as it sounds like though it’s frustrating, you can handle it for a little longer.  If nothing changes, then I would sit both blokes down and explain your expectations.  It sounds like you all get along well so I’m sure they won’t take offence.  I’m sure Josh is just excited to see his friend and will soon go back to normal.  I think the other guy probably just doesn’t know the expectations but if you guys talk and he sees how you and josh live, hopefully he’ll emulate.

I know what it’s like.  I live with FI, one of his best friends and another guy.  Sometimes I feel really left out because FI and his BF really want to hang out all the time and do guy stuff in the house so even though I’m right there, I feel neglected.  The boys also don’t clean unless someone tells them to (well FI is pretty good but he has his lazy weeks)

I get along with all of them really well so can tell them my problems and they are happy to rectify them.  I have to nag every now and then and they jokingly call me the house mum, but they do what I ask.  

Post # 5
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would tell them.  What’s the big deal, some guys need to be told.  Just say .. .Hey guys the trash is full and I took it out the last four times….. it’s one of your turns.  Just smile when you say it and be done with it.  No biggie. 

Post # 7
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

EncoreBridetoBe:  I am positive the novelty will wear off if this is out of character for Josh.  I was the same when my best high school friend came back to town for a month and I hadn’t seen her in years.  We were back to teenagers, giggling and gossiping and telling inside jokes, which is so far from my normal personality it’s not funny.  FI had a what thuu look on anytime he saw us interact, and joked that my voice goes a couple of octaves higher whenever I saw her. After a bit, we relaxed and went back to our mature personalities, which luckily still complement wickedly.  I miss her now she’s gone again 🙁

Post # 9
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You are just going to have to get to know Ethan better to not feel like an outsider, I guess… And I know chore charts are out but you could probably still talk about boundaries and cleanliness together? It is important stuff!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

EncoreBridetoBe:  We were in a similar position with roommates and it only got worse until we finally caved and moved out.  Rent was so cheap that it was tough to lose out but after a year and a half of being the only 2 people cleaning up after everyone (which included 5 adults, 3 dogs, and 3 cats), we were done.

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