I am not married yet, I have my own last name thank you!!!

posted 3 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I hear you; getting people’s names right is incredibly important. Some people just don’t get it and don’t bother to take the time to figure out a person’s name… I am married but kept my own name, and I get stuff addressed to “Mrs. Husband’s Name” all the time, and it drives me bonkers. 

Post # 4
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s awkward to me to write in an unmarried couple with the same name!
Anybody I’m not sure of (and there’s a few), I’m just going to outright ask them; it takes ten seconds or one email, and isn’t a big deal.

Mr. James and Ms. Jane PeanutButter
What! NO! It’s Mr. James PeanutButter and Ms. Jane Jelly!

Actually, honestly? If a Ms. Jelly was marring a Mr. PeanutButter, she better not change her name. Because… that’s just too awesome.

 

Post # 6
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I accidentally did this to FI’s cousin, except that she is married, but she did not take her husband’s name. Neither FI nor I had any idea. She isn’t active on Facebook and we didn’t think to ask. Ah well. Maybe she thought it was cute because you’re getting married soon?

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

People did that with DH and I before we got married. I thought it was cute! So I’m assuming she didn’t do it thinking you’d be upset by it.

I would make a FB status message or something “Thinking of hyphenating my last name… I like it!”

Post # 8
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@reynaweddingbee:  I doubt she meant any malice by it. I know a lot of women are excited to take their soon-to-be-husband’s name. She probably just thought she was being cute and funny.

Post # 9
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This bugs me too!!! I have had so many people lately address things to my FI and I as Mr. and Mrs. and I am like hello, yes we have been together for almost 12 years, yes we are getting married soon, but we are not YET! It’s like they are taking the joy away from me of getting to change my name and use it. Talk about jumping the gun! Such a pet peeve! Glad I am not the only one who this drives crazy!

Post # 10
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@reynaweddingbee:  Keeping my last name was really easy — I didn’t have to change a thing! 🙂 It required zero action on my part. It hasn’t caused any problems for me, with the exception of people misaddressing mail to me… haha. That honestly is the only annoyance. We just had a child, too, and we gave her my husband’s last name, even though she’s on my insurance, and again, no problem at all. 

Post # 11
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@reynaweddingbee:  

FI and I received a thank you card for a baby gift from FI’s friend addressed to us as Mr. and Mrs. {FI Last Name}.  I just rolled my eyes then showed FI and said how riduculous. 

I think she thought she was trying to be funny.

Post # 12
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would like it personally. Maybe that’s because I hate being associated with my father’s name and want to take my husband’s name when I marry, though.

Post # 13
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

My MIL did this too back when we were only engaged.  It annoyed me a little, but then I realized she’s just really excited that her son (and her first child) is getting married.  Try not to take offense.

Post # 14
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I did it with my brother and soon to be sister in law.  I am pretty sure I remembered a conversation about her wanting to change her name to his so I went with that.  I am going to feel really odd if she does not change her last name and might apologize in the future.

Post # 15
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

FI’s aunt addressed something to us with the same last name recently (months before our wedding). I just shrugged it off. I’m not changing my name when we get married, but I’m well aware that most people will assume I did, so I better get used to it! I’m not looking forward to explaining to everyone that I kept my name, especially since everyone seems to give me this shocked look like OMG YOU CAN DO THAT? haha.

That being said, in addressing our envelopes I was very careful to address people as they wish to be addressed. I have a few girl friends with hyphenated names so I addressed them as

Mr. James Peanutbutter and

Ms. Jane Jelly-Peanutbutter 

@CakeyP:  PS that is the best example name of all time.

Post # 16
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

As OP and PPs have said, she either didn’t think about it or she was trying to be cute, probably.  I definitely try to get last names correct, as the daughter of a woman who kept her maiden name.  Also, I’m not sure how common this superstitiion is, but a friend told me that it’s bad luck to address a woman by her married name before she is married.  If that’s true, then I’m screwed, because I use my FI’s loyalty card at one supermarket chain and the checkers address me as Ms. FIlastname.

 

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