Post # 1
People have been giving me their negative opinions about aspects of my wedding. Someone will ask something about my wedding and then feel like it is okay to tell me that is a bad idea. The negative feedback is starting to wear on me. I dont think my ideas are crazy.
Chocolate wedding favors, flat shoes instead of heels (I have a medical condition and I can only walk or stand for 10 minutes, heels would shorten this to 2 minutes), wearing a crinoline (this person had not even seen my dress), having a table assignment AND a seating assignment, having an aisle runner, wearing my hair down and not up, having table numbers that match my wedding colors, having chopsticks for every guest as opossed to just the 50 guest that will actually use them. And the list goes on for just about anything wedding related.
I dont think these things are that weird. I am tired of people giving me their opinion. With the exception of weddingbee of course bc I asked for your opinion on something.
For now on and I not talking about my wedding. If someone asks I will just say “I don’t know” or ” It will be a surprise”. I am not showing anyone my dress, my shoes, my aisle runner, my seating chart, my music list or my underwear. I am tired of people hatin’ on my bridal flats.
Post # 3
I actually had a friend of the FHs that told me the men HAVE to wear colored vests, and he has nothing to do with the wedding. I have been being told what I have to do and what I can’t do since the planning started. I just don’t listen, makes life easier.
Post # 4
BTW I think your ideas are awesome. And as long as you are happy with it and your FH is happy with it then that’s all that matters. It is your day… people just need to keep the negativity to themselves.
Post # 5
I’m rocking the flats, too! FI’s two inches shorter than me. While it’s a good height when I’m in flats, it starts to become an awkward height when I’m in heels.
It sounds like you’re surrounded by a ton of negative people. I wouldn’t tell them anything about the wedding, either! You can always come on here and we’ll help you gush and look forward to your wedding :).
Post # 6
I’m there too babe. My mother, MIL, MOH (though she means well – can’t say the same for the others lol) BMs, Family, etc. I think the only one that is saying “Its your wedding you do what you want” is my father and FI. lol (Of course FI says “our wedding” and “WE’LL do what we want”. lol
Yes, I want to wear BLUE shoes under my wedding dress. And yes, my my MIL AND mother will be walking down the isle. And yes, I want the acoustic guitarist to SING during my ceremony. And YES, I want to my cake and I plan on eating it, too!
and I think your ideas are fantastic because they’re YOUR ideas for YOUR wedding 😉 You go girl! Surprise the hell outta em!
Post # 7
Bravo!! Seriously – I think we all get to the point where it just gets OLD and TIRED. I honestly don’t think people realize how much thought brides put into details… I think they just think you are ‘thinking’ of doing it that way vs. thought through the why behind it (thus the negative comments or ‘helpful’ suggestions.)
Everyone will have an opinion during the planning process – but, I will guarantee you – that come the day of the wedding – everyone will rave about ‘what a good idea ‘x’ was’. Like the sensibility of your bridal flats! 🙂
Post # 8
Two of the older ladies I work with have children planning weddings for 2012 and thus, they are now experts on weddings. My colours are black, white and pale pink and according to them black will look like a funeral.
Oh, and only having a matron of honour will look silly, and only 50 guests will not be a proper wedding.
I came sooo close to telling them to shove it today, but I just smiled and told them that just like their children are having the things that they want at their wedding, I will have what I want at mine.
Post # 9
I am glad I am not the only one dealing with this. My FMIL, bridesmaids, grandmother, friends, relatives and strangers like to throw in their opinions.
But who would have thought that their FMIL or even a stranger would have an opinion about table numbers? Seriously?
I totally want to tell people to shove it, but I also just smile and nod.
I am glad I am not the only bridal flats bride. I love heels and was feeling sad that I couldnt wear heels and feeling even worse when people react to me wearing flats like I am commiting a crime. But flats can be pretty and are comfy too.
Post # 10
I only voted ‘no’ because I haven’t been given ANY feedback, negative or otherwise, I am she of the invisible wedding it seems 😛
I feel for you though, when it come to certain things in life (like weddings, or parenting) people always seem to think they know everything about anything and that their perspective/opinion is the only correct one, which can be very frustrating.
Post # 11
People have definitely given me unwanted opinions, but no one’s criticizing my choices directly. I think it’s hilarious when people not immersed in weddings present these really common ideas as if they’re totally unique and original (which they are, in their minds), and I’m like, “yeah I know, I’ve seen a million pictures, decided against it for the following twenty reasons, thanks for the help.”
Post # 12
I’m sorry this is happening to you, too. The other day an old pal was asking me about my engagement and wedding plans, and her reaction was odd when I said we are eloping. It was very judgmental and hurt my feelings (especially when I thought she of all people would understand my many reasons for choosing this). It really takes the wind out of your sails and makes you want to keep things quiet even if others are excited about it.
Post # 13
Not really. Unless you include my mother. I swear her and I have 150% different ideas on what a wedding is!
Post # 14
I dont give out much info about the wedding because I realize the less people know about it, the less i have to deal with their opinions. Everyone thinks they need to tell you how to do it right. Well they can “do it right” at their own wedding.
Post # 15
No, for the most part, because I don’t say anything. My FMIL told me my favors were a bad idea before she realized that I had already made them. So, I guess I have one in the unsolicited column.
Post # 16
I have a coworker who bashes everything that has anything to do with my wedding. It started the minute I got engaged.
She bashed my ring “Why the hell do you need something that huge? I wouldnt want that….it would be too much”
She asked how many people we were inviting and how much we were spending. “OMG….there are so many other things you can spend that kind of money – your not rich!”
Bashed my dress. She is nosey. I had it shipped to my work becuase i didnt want FI to receive it, “OMG….you going to wear it 1 day! That is just stupid, I dont know why people buy expensive dresses like that”
I think she finally stopped asking questions cause she thinks we are being rediculous. We really are not though.