(Closed) I am really kind of peeved right now!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I really dont think that  $10 is that much of a big deal, if she hasnt paid it for some reason that  shouldnt  be grounds for kicking her out of the wedding and ending a friendship. I really dont know why the other BMs even told you about this. 

She really may not be able to afford to have her hair done for $40, is it possible to allow her to style her own hair?

Post # 5
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First, your other bridesmaids should have never told you about all of this… I wouldn’t worry about to much right now.  I am assuing she was a good friend before all of this, I wouldn’t let one situation ruin a friendship.  I don’t really get why you are upset about the hair and make-up.

Post # 6
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I also have a BM who is dead broke. Unemployed. She couldnt help with my shower but she did handmake spaghetti. She cant afford to go to or help throw a Bachelorette Party. She is doing her own makeup and hair. She can’t afford to give me a gift. To be honest, thats fine with me. I understand her situation. But at least she is trying to do things like being a part of my shower and as long as she shows up for my wedding and stands by my side, I am happy. I think you are being a little to hard on your bm. If she can’t afford it, then she can’t afford it. It is what it is. Now, if she is saying she cant afford anything and not even showing up to things or  not trying to have a part in anything (physically or emotionally) than that is different. But if not, just try to understand where she is coming from. You don;t need any extra stress 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@mrskisstobe: Ok that makes a little more sense. She obviously sounds like she is trying to control your wedding. But it is just that, YOUR wedding. I think you need to sit down and talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her that YOU will decide what shoes and jewelry will be worn. Tell her that you are upset because you heard she didn’t participate in your bachelorette gift. Be honest with her, she may not think she is doing anything wrong.

Post # 12
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I understand better now, sorry you have to deal all her “drama”! But, I still don’t think anything you have said is that bog fo a deal… I would just not let her get to you.  

Post # 13
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

From reading your post I feel bad for her, $10 isn’t huge…she paid for her dress and asking your bridesmaids to pay for their own hair to be done seems like you’re asking a lot. I understand its your wedding and you want them to look nice. But I honestly couldn’t imagine asking my bridesmaids to pay for anything other than their dress for my wedding. Most of them said they couldn’t afford a gift. That is fine with me! I am happy just to have them by my side when I get married! She also has children? Kids are expensive and I’d feel crappy for wanting someone to spend extra on my event just because I picked them to be a bridesmaid.

She might have gone to Costa Rica but usually means someone has less to spend on other things–she should be allowed a vacation.

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