(Closed) I am so frustrated and want to cry (looooong, sorry I have to vent).

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with your FI. I think you are overreacting.

Contrary to what the commercials and TV shows portray, pregnancy is not always a walk in the park. Not only is she excited about her baby, like you are excited about your wedding, but she is probably overly tired, wore out, uncomfortable, moody, going through bodily changes, the list goes on.

I think you should cut her some slack. Have a talk with her. You have been good friends for a very long time. When you have the talk with her, maybe suggest that you talk about her baby/pregnancy for so many minutes, and then you can talk about your wedding for so many minutes, so you both have an opportunity to voice your excitement and concerns.

Sometimes being pregnant also messes with your mind. I am sure she is not doing this intentionally.

Post # 4
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You have to do what feels right for you, but pregnancy can do weird things to people.  I was a mess, and probably treated people badly at times because my emotions were just totally out of control.    Not saying that the way she is behaving is right or fair, but if she’s always been a good friend before this, you may find that after the baby is born she goes back to being that good friend. 

 

On the other hand, some people are just really self involved and if it wasn’t her pregnancy it would be something else.  In the end, only you know what she is usually like, and if her friendship is worth putting up with her self-centred behaviour. 

 

Good luck with this! I’m sorry you found yourself in this situation.

Post # 5
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

🙁

I think it would be good to start with, “Is everything okay lately?” and then if she says something like “of course everything is fine” let her know (gently) why you’re wondering.

Also, the most common complaint I’ve heard from bridesmaids is that brides forget anyone else has a life – are you regularly talking about stuff other than the wedding, or is the wedding kind of all that you talk about anymore? If the latter, might be wise to cool it in preference of ‘real’ conversation once in a while, even though you’re pressed for time.

Post # 6
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t care how pregnant someone is, if she is a good friend she would be there for you.  During my engagement I have had no less than 5 VERY pregnant friends (one of which is due this week) and although we have talked a lot about their babies and their experiences during this time, they are ALWAYS interested in my wedding.  Like jennibride said, only you know her well enough to determine if this is a temporary hormonal situation, or if it is par for the course with this girl.  Both of you are in the middle of very life-changing events and everyone handles these things differently.

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