- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2015
Hi, guys! I found this forum literally yesterday and it’s been such a lifesaver. I thought I was the only lady on earth to be impatient about getting engaged.
My SO and I have been together for a little over 3.5 years. We met at a minor league hockey game. He took a while to ask me out, but saying yes to him at that time was the best decision I’ve ever made. We had a really rough first year where we fought all of the time (we had a lot of communication problems), but honestly…the last 2 or so years has been really calm. We rarely fight and we never go to bed angry. I think we got everything out of our systems for the next decade in one year, LOL.
We both come from single parent families, and family is very important for both of us. My family is definitely the more traditional of the two, and I have been asked many times when I was going to get married. I always say, “Well, that’s not my decision, is it?” I have been very, very patient up until the beginning of this year. I think it was a mix of being together for almost 3 years and not having much to show for it (I hope that doesn’t sound bad! I know some people wait longer) and EVERYONE getting engaged this year. A lot of those couples got together after us and got engaged – obviously – before us. That really messed me up. I started to wonder WTF was wrong with me!
I have tried to keep shut about it, but I admit that I have broken down a couple of times in front of him. I feel so guilty about it, but he said just last night, “You are not one to bottle things up.” I have told him my personal reasons for needing this in my life before the 5 year mark. He understands and agrees that he would not want to date me for that long without a ring. I really try to trust him and trust the process, but then someone else gets engaged and it feels like the big green monster inside of me comes out swinging. I want to be happy for them, but I end up feeling like poop.
I was shopping for something for his mother and he got a phone call from her. He took it and blah blah until he said, “Yeah, I have to go pick something up from Home Depot to build that thing I spoke to you about over Thanksgiving.” He NEVER says things like that. If it was just tile or a toilet, he would have said it and kept it moving. When he hung up, I asked him what that was about. He got cryptic. After much nagging (I don’t like secrets), he said it was about me…not a Christmas gift…it was for my benefit…and to please not ask about it again. I dropped it. Last week, he took me ring shopping (mostly because I suggested it but he had to push me inside the stores!) Last night, I had a moment and asked him how he felt about his life and he said he was happy and that the puzzle pieces were starting to fit. He said before that he has a plan and to trust him, but he is always so slow to make his choices. I’m getting antsy and this whole thing is starting to affect my moods. Any advice, bees? Please?
Thanks for reading. I was trying to get it all in.