Post # 1
I’m a 27 year old from up here in Canada and I have been with my SO for almost 7 yeears. It wasn’t such a big deal to get married the first 5 years or so since we were finishing up college and in the process of buying our first home but now that we have lived in our place for 3 years and both have had pretty good jobs now, it’s getting tough. I’m pretty much the last one out of my friends to get married now and it gets to me sometimes. I want to patient and want it to be on his terms but with every wedding we attend and every engagement, it gets hard. He has the money to buy a ring, he makes really good money and could go out tommorow and but it but with the arguments we’ve had the past year about it, it’s always ” be patient, be patient” ” Maybe if you quit talking about it will happen” Well I talk about weddings because the past 3 years, on average I have had 4 per year to go to! and it seems like everyone is getting engaged. its not like I bring it up everyday but if I even watch one wedding show, it automatically makes me wedding obsessed… men eh! It’s frusturating. I want it to be on his own time but I’m like, after 7 years you don’t know? I am continuing to be patient because I know like alot of women are here say, it’ll be worth it in the end. I just have my moments where I get really upset and bitter…. The other day my cousin got engaged (we were kinda in the same situation – we called it the “bitter boat” and we were “paddling” together LOL) so that kinda brought up those feelings. I’m her MOH, so of course I told my SO – he got all weird, once again about wedding stuff. So to make light of it, I pretend to paddle around in a circle in the middle of our kitchen and told him my bitter boat only had one paddle left LOL. Still bothering me though… I know it will happen one day… just some days are easier than others.
thanks though for making me feel like I am not the only one. it’s so nice to read through this and see that other’s are in the same position. Wish me luck though tonight, I have a wedding to go to here in about 4 hours and the fun questions are going to be thrown my way… I think this time though, I’ll tell people who ask we’ll get married when the babies come LOL that should put them off for awhile!
Post # 4
@lilymarie23: I understand! I’m nearly 30 and have been with my SO since college. I’m happy and still in love after all this time, but some days waiting makes me so frustrated!
Hope you managed to have a good time at the wedding despite your frustrations!
Post # 5
Welcome! I was glad to find this site when I did too, but it definitiely influenced me. It empowered me in a way, and I still haven’t decided if that was a good or bad thing. I couldn’t take waiting…and I only waited a year (together for 3). I nagged, hinted, warned, complained, got upset. He finally proposed, like a week after one of my meltdowns, and he had been planning the proposal all along. Now I regret nagging him so much, I should’ve trusted him more. I can’t tell you not to nag, because it’s been 7 years and you have a house together. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t be able to wait that long without bringing it up every other day. You’re a saint. But if you can wait without prodding, you will feel so much better that it happened on his own accord. There’s a also slight chance you’ll have the “It’s about time!” reaction, but either way it’ll be awesome.
Here’s to hoping it’ll happen soon!
Post # 6
Guess who caught the boquet at the wedding?? Oh and he caught the garter. Yep, heard it all night LOL. I just shut people down right away.
Them: ” You’re next!”
Me: Nope! Definately not
Them: Well you caught the boquet and he got the garter, it’s meant to be! And you’ve been dating for so long!”
Me: Yep, I have 3 boquets at home, doesn’t mean anything.
Them: “oh… “ackward silence”. “I’m going to grab a drink”
Sometimes it’s funny ackwarding people out 🙂
Post # 7
Welcome! I’m glad you stumbled into the Hive! 🙂
I’m sorry to hear about your situation, some guys get very jittery whenever weddings come around. Has he ever even mentioned getting married? Or do you guys talk about the future in a non commital type way? Maybe he doesn’t really believe in marraige but thinks love is enough and to each their own.
I would just casually ask him whenever he calls you wedding obsessed if you should even think about weddings if he’s ever going to propose?
His response to your very NORMAL behavior makes me wonder if he even has any such plans…
Best wishes and keep us updated! 🙂
Post # 8
We had “the talk” about it around our 4 year anniversary on our way to an Oilers game out of all things. I told him that it was important to me and that I wanted to get married someday and he agreed and said that he wanted to as well and that it would happen someday. It seems like a casual talk the way I describe it but it was an actual serious conversation. We talked about it again around that time over dinner as well and he assured me that he wanted to get married as well and that it would happen one day. I haven’t given him any timeline’s or anything, I want it to be his decision but I am so tired some days of waiting. It’s tough. I figured by now that it would of happened. His mom wants us to get married as well, heck his nan told me to get pregnant first (can you believe his grandma told me that? LOL). She tells me that he likes to have his ducks in a row and that is probably what he is waiting for. But I’m still like, really? He is a 4th year refridgeration mechanic and only has one more semester to go, it’s not like we havn’t done school before, we both have bachelor degrees. And we own our own house, vehicles, etc. We aren’t “living on love” so to say. He has more than enough money to buy a ring, he could buy a nice one 5 times over if he wanted to. He is very spontaneous, so his mom said maybe he is waiting for me to be suprised? But how can I when I am fricken surrounded by all my friends getting married. What do you think is on my mind? ARGGG. BUT I am gonna wait. Because I love him too much to let him go and as much as I want to be his wife and be married to him, I would rather have his love and our relationship than to be with anyone else. Still frusturating though. I don’t know how some people get to 10 years + waiting, I can understand though!
As for his reponse. He has everyone breathing down his throat every week about it , especially the past 6 mos, so I think he is just feeling the pressure. Which I can understand but it’s not going to go away, I have stopped with it but I can’t stop what other people say!
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves
Seriously his nana told you that?! Hey it must be nice to know they like you that much, they really want you to be an official part of the family!
Hey we got engaged after 7 years and 10 months together, the wait’s worth it. =)
Post # 11
Yeah she did! I had to ask her to say it again after she said it the first time, I was so shocked!
Thanks – It’s good to know there is hope out there 🙂
Post # 12
Ugh i was in the same boat but not as bad. My FI and I have been together for three years and he isn’t into the whole marriage thing, his family is full of divorse. But I love weddings and marriage, my dream since I was child has been to be a wife! After three years of holding in wedding talk completly (my family thought i was crazy to talk about a wedding when I wasn’t even engaged) i’m like why not, it’ll happen eventually!!! Anyways my FI finally came to realization that I wasn’t going to be happy without a marriage (he would have been ok going the Gean Simons route) and proposed!!!! Thank goodness because it was getting really hard not to beg him to propose since my best friend just got married. No ring yet though 🙁 now I can talk to him about our wedding, which is in 3 years, but my family still seems to think i’m crazy because its so far away and in their mind no ring=no engagment, what turds, but they will come around eventually. But thank god for this site because now I have people other then my FI to be excited for me and help me through my plans that are already running through my head. We’re here for you and I’m sure your SO will figure come around soon enough 🙂 and during those tough moments where you feel like your about to pass out from holding breath so you don’t bug him, just know we’re good listeners and will do our best to help you
Post # 13
It’s so nice to have support of people on here! You guys are all awesome. 🙂
And yeah, my SO would be happy going the Gene Simmons route, he’s said before “my uncle tony and his wife were together for 25 years before getting married” and I just give him the LOOK. No way buddy!
One of these days! Till then, I am going to add my boquet from yesterday to my others LOL.
Post # 14
its funny that you say guys get jittery at weddings, my guys is the COMPLETE opposite! every wedding we’ve ever been at he’ll make comments like “oh our wedding is going to be so much better” “or we’ll play this type of music at our wedding” yada yada.. to the point where i get mad at him! (especially after a few drinks ;)…a i’m like yeah well maybe we should get engaged before we plan our wedding.. or i’ll say “oh yeah? what wedding?” didn’t know we were engaged… haha… its sooooooo frustrating!
Post # 15
My man has started making comments like “Oh I liked this hall and this one…” or.. “Oh that caterer was good”. But that’s about it. I know when it happens I will have NO idea though, my SO likes to suprise me. He once kept my anniversary present a surprise for 3 weeks and I had no idea until he called me at noon on a long weekend and told me to pack my bags as we were leaving when he got home. Long story short, he drove me all night to Vancouver from Alberta so we could watch the sunrise over the ocean together in Vancouver on our 5 year anniversary 🙂 but i had NO idea. so I am guessing when it happens it’ll be a total shock and surprise for me without him mentioning anything beforehand.