Post # 1
So, if you read the last thing I posted on here, it was about a cousin who asked me on FACEBOOK if she and all her siblings, their spouses and their children should RSVP on my Aunt and Uncles RSVP card because they are the only ones who got one….
I only gave my aunt and uncle an RSVP card in their invite because I am having a VERY small ceremony and dinner and my mother decided she could not invite her ONE half brother, when she was inviting her other two siblings.
We were NOT going to invite his whole FREAKING family!
Well, I messages her on facebook (not on her wall) that the three of them could come (because I felt like I had no other choice in the matter… and to just RSVP on their card). So I figured 3 more people, not the biggest deal in the world…. WRONG! They RSVP’ed for 10 people!!!!!!
WHAT THE HECK!!!!!
Also, there goes my adults only ceremony and dinner…. ALL the kids are coming too.
🙁 SO pissed! Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
Why can’t you just clarify with them? Seems simple enough. Also, if 3 more people were ok, why was it not ok for your mom’s brother to come?
Post # 4
I agree. I would just clarify that it is a adult only ceremony.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
“we’re so thrilled you’re all so excited, unfortunately we only are able to extend the invitation to so and so, as indicated on the invitation. If this means you are not able to make it, we understand and you will be missed”
Post # 6
I would not let this slide. Message her again and clarify exactly who is invited and why you are not inviting everyone.
Post # 7
Message her back, especially about the kids, and tell her you didn’t mean the kids could come. Tell her that you’re sorry about the misunderstanding but you are only having a small intimate wedding and there won’t be any other kids there. If they don’t understand then it’s their problem, not yours. 🙂
Post # 8
@crayfish: It is fine for my moms brother to come…. he is one of the ones I ACTUALLY invited, but his entire family wants to come. Thats the problem. People I don’t even know and haven’t spoken to since I was about 5 years old.
Post # 9
No way would I let that slide.
Post # 10
I would be angry too. But honestly it seems like it could be a really easy fix. Call it a miscommunication and extend the invite to select people and inform her that it’s a no-kids event.
Post # 11
@rebwana: I love that, I am going to use it! Thanks!
My mom is feeling the most stress though and I feel so bad about it all since its her family and she feels OBLIGATED to not hurt her half brother’s feelings.
Also, I feel bad to tell them no kids since my cousins kids (who I am super close to) are in the wedding, but they are the only kids I invited.
Post # 12
I also agree that you should just politely clarify that your wedding is intended to be small, that you managed to squeeze the extra couple of guests in as per your conversation with them, but unfortunately you have already reached a maximum based on your venue and plans (that’s if the previous excellent suggestion by another Bee prompts them to ask why etc)
Post # 13
@Jezika: I like that also, you guys are good with the polite rejection stuff! LOL!
Post # 14
@SweetartMD: i would be pissed right off. put your foot down and tell them no. of course in a polite way. let them know that you said ok to the 3 of them (even though they weren’t initially invited) but not to 10.
that is just simply rude, rude, rude.
i hate hate, hate hearing stories like this. it’s all too common.
i am going to start a company called the “rsvp defenders” or better still, “U weren’t invited” and when brides get crazy responses like this, i will contact the evil doers and do all of the dirty work in the most diplomatic way of course.
Post # 15
@mypinkshoes: I LOVE THAT! Lol, I will help!
Okay, here is what I think I might respond: Let me know what you think!
Hey, the thing is we are having a very small ceremony and dinner to follow since we are on a tight budget. We aren’t giving anyone plus ones (extra boyfriends or girlfriends) So I am really sorry but we cannot accommodate people who have not been invited. Please let Shea know that we are sorry about not being able to invite his girlfriend. Also, we are not having very many kids at the wedding since we wanted a mostly adult affair. Your kids are fine but I just wanted to let you know that it will be mostly for adults, I do not know if Joey’s kids are even coming. I do understand that sometimes it is very difficult to find a babysitter. Just please let us know for sure since we have such limited seating. I am sorry for all the confusion. I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings, but when you are on a tight budget sometimes these things happen.
Yes, No? Thoughts?
Post # 16
No maam! 10 extra people are NOT coming! LOL
You need to say something and immediately. Dont just let this happen. Depending on how much you are paying per person you could be forking over a lot of money. Tell them the deal honey..this is YOUR day!