MAJOR vent about looking at rings-ticked off
more by beckyh
New here-have been waiting 6 years
Just don't go to this extent.....
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Back to the no proactive wedding/marriage/engagement talk...
FREAKING OUT! just picked out the bands yesterday. I don't think i like it!
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Oh no!!

I am so mad...hate waiting...another friend engaged

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
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    beckyh      

    I am just mad today. I found out another one of my friends is getting engaged. There was 4 of us that were really good friends. Two of them are already engaged and one is looking for rings as we speak. That only leaves ME.  The amounts of how long each couple has been dating COMBINED (ie. 2.5 years, 1 year, 2.5 years=6 years) is less than the amount I have been dating my boyfriend for (6.5 years). I am going crazy. I know he has done nothing wrong but I am just freaken angry today. 4 other friends have become engaged in the last 2 months and it is just hard. I am trying not to speak about anything ring related becuase my BF gets mad and says its annoying. So I decide to just vent here. Thanks for listening :)

     
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    HoneyBear    March 17, 2012   Texas/ Isla Mujeres

    Awwww, I'm sorry! We are all pretty much in the same boat over here in the waiting section! You are in very good company now lol

    Feel free to vent whenever you need it, I know it helps a lot. All the ladies here are super supportive and make you feel much better!

     

     
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    speechie      

    hugs Becky.. I had a mad day the other day too.. Venting on here and a good old fashioned temper tantrum (in private) helped me out a little. I get pangs of jealously every time people get engaged who have been dating a shorter amount of time than us, but I think about how great it will be when we finally do!

     
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    ProudPeacockBride    August 13, 2011   Washington

    I just posted about this! I'm sorry your frustrated...but why exactly do you need to get married? Why are you angry that you haven't had the big "party" yet? If your in love, and your commited whole-heartedly to this man, why should it matter if your married or not? Why should it matter that the government knows your filing your taxes together? What is marriage, really, other than formally being with the one you love? It's tax benifits, it's easier bank transactions and bill paying, it's cheaper insurance rates, lower application fees for renting a home, it's health insurance benifits, etc. Do you really need those so badly that your getting mad at your partner? So many relationships are ruined because of that!

    If you love this guy, wait it out! Good things come to those who wait! Good luck!

     
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    CurlyDreamer    patiently waiting   Bay Area

    (((HUGS))) Vent away, girl! I think a lot of us can relate to how you feel. It's hard not to feel a little jealous when your friends have something that you want. I think it's great there are places (like this place!) where we can come and whine to people who understand.

     

    Your day will come and, until then, at least you can get it out without having to talk to your sweetie about it.

     
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    starcharades    December 31, 2011   Philadelphia

    Aww Im sorry. I dont really know how you feel since I am the first of my friends (only by a week) to get engaged. But just think, you will have that much more time to spend together without the stress of a wedding. I am sure thats not much help now, but don't worry. It will come.

     
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    waterprincess    June 25, 2011   Ohio

    ((HUGS)) Vent away... we've all done it.  I come here instead of talking to BF, and it works wonders.  I have a feeling I will be in the same boat with you soon... 

     
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    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    *hugs* GIRL! We totally get it. Two of my best friends have gotten engaged in the last month and it's been hard. Just keep it together, focus on your relationship in the here and now and it'll all work out.

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    hmmmm I didn't read your post as a need to be married.  no one needs to be married. i think you want to be married to the person whom you have shared your life with for the last 6.5 years.  it's really hard to watch your friends move on to the next level in their relationship when you are waiting for your own next level. does your boyfriend want to be married?  maybe when you aren't so emotional you can defintiely sit down and have a talk with him to make sure you both want the same things in your relationship.  ((HUGS))

     
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    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    guuurrlllll! we are all here!!! or there? and that's what we are here for. i know it's easier said than done to to be happy with what you have, and i know how awful it feels. but you have us and keep the faith :)

     
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    tea       norcal

    ::hugs:: let it all out here. i know how frustrating it can be seeing everyone else move foward while you're seemingly standing still. hang in there though! we'll help you through :-)

     
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    MrsCox2B    March 13, 2011   Delaware

    I felt the same way you did. My Fh and I were together for almost 5 yrs before we got engaged. Even bought a house tOGETHER with no ring! all my friends are either married or engaged and I am the last one to go and the longest relationship too. I feel your pain. When the timing is right, he will pop the question and when he does, your head is going to go in a whirlwind of excitment. Just relax, it will happen.

    Venting is always a must. Just not to him. That is what weddingbee is for!

     
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    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    I know that feeling. I was moh for a friend and I was jealous that she was getting married first. now she is my moh and she is sad hers is over and I still get to plan.

    Cheer up- it will happen!

     
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    beckyh      

    Thanks everyone!

    I feel better now. I also called my best friend at work and I know she is busy so I asked for 1 minute of her time-I vented for the 1 minute and then i said "thanks for listening, get back to work" lol :)

    I have spoken to my BF MANY times about getting married. He wants to get married its just that we are both in graduate school and won't be done till summer of 2010. We have a "tenative" date for our wedding for August 2011. SO i keep saying things like "you know I need a year and a half to plan" becuase I will be busy working. He's response was like oh no you don't need that long. So the other day when he was in a good mood I asked him if i could show him something wedding related and he said yes. So i showed him one of the forums that people we're discussing about getting their venues 1-1.5 years or more in advance. He thought i was crazy when i told him that but now he finally believes me and i think he understands. As there is only one date in August I want.  SOOOOOOO here's to hoping it happens soon :)

    Thanks for all the support! You are so awsome! It's good to have people who understand.

     
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    iggies    March 2011  

    i hear you! my boyfriend and i have been together 5.5 years today and i'm so sick of waiting! i'm also sick of hearing via facebook that almost every person i know is engaged or getting married and they've only been with their fiance/husband for 1-3 years. my boyfriend is the least decisive person i know and i'm not quite sure what exactly he's waiting for since he's told me since august that he knows he wants to marry me! i had a huge punch in the gut when my best friend from college got engaged last month out of the blue after only dating her boyfriend for 2 years.

    i'm totally here for you to gripe with!

     
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    littlemissmango    July 7, 2012   Oahu, HI

    Girl I know how you're feeling! This past weekend 3 of my friends got engaged... AND my most recent ex told me he just bought a ring for his GF! Let's just say that the engagement itch is getting a little unbearable these days...

    I do want to make a comment regarding peacock's advice, if I may. I agree with crebre in that nowhere in Becky's post did she say she is "needing" to get married. We're talking about values here. We don't need to be questioning "why it matters," when she has already made it apparent that it does matter to her. It is something that she values and wants for her life. And obviously, it matters to you too, Peacock, since you yourself are getting married (congratulations!)! It would be an awful waste of time, energy, and money to throw that "party" if it didn't matter to you as well. In fact, you are "proud" of your upcoming nuptuals, are you not? :) I just wanted to kindly remind you that this is the Waiting board, we are all anxious about getting engaged and getting to plan a wedding, or we would not be here, but it hasn't happened for many of us yet, so this is our space to express any and all feelings associated with that: frustration, excitement, disappointment, and anything else we feel, and to have our feelings validated by others who are in the same situation. In the words of Martha... it's a Good Thing. Wink

     
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    mandalee0624    October 2, 2010  

    I feel your pain. :)

     
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    Dreamer72      

    I totally understand. My boyfriend's best friend got married a few weeks ago and the whole time he kept saying "I can't believe he did it!"

    He says that everytime his friends get married. He's 25, a perfectly normal and acceptable age to get married... but he's totally freaked out when people his age get married.

    I think he's finally getting there too though. I hope so, anyway.

     

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