- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
So, my husband’s deployment has apparently been cancelled and we have set forward on the vow renewal. Ok, so it is still going to be just he and I April 2014 because of the fact that we may be moving in May of next year. We decided to stick with the plan of just having it be he and I in Hawaii and it is not just because I want it to be small and simple but because we live so far away from home and can’t really get any help from family to help plan it (and they shouldn’t, it really is our event). It is really important for us but we want no fuss.
My mom understands this and during her trip she wants to come and help find my dress. I was nervous asking her but she wants to have a fun time with me. I am happy for this but my brother is coming along during the trip and threw a fit about this because it may get in his plans for his trip here. Then he started to go on about how selfish I was being for not inviting anyone, how no one cares as much as us about this (this is true and so why would I have it at home?) and how he couldn’t come to the JOP ceremony. I turned it around on him and reminded him that HE DID HAVE THE CHANCE TO COME TO THE WEDDING BUT CHOSE TO GO TO HIS FOOTBALL GAME INSTEAD. How the hell am I selfish when he chose to skip his sister’s wedding for a game he actually didn’t play in?!
I wanted to really blow up and ask him if I am so selfish why did I pay for his plane ticket, providing him a place to stay during his trip AND haven’t asked him for a damn thing ever? I didn’t tell him because that would be rude but I did tell him that if he isn’t planning, paying or even going what does he care? He chose himself over other people’s events for years and now it is biting him in the ass. I did tell him that this has NOTHING to do with him. I did talk to my pastor and he said a vow renewal is about the married people, guests are nice but not necessary because it is not about them