- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
ARGH! So– rant warning–
My parents, particularly my mother, have never liked my SO. My parents have been astoundingly unreasonable and rude about every man I have been with, including my current/longterm SO, who I love dearly and who treats me very well. My parents also don’t think much of my SO’s parents (even though they have only met up twice or three times, my parents think my SO’s parents are controlling, blah blah blah). My SO’s family live about 1/4 of a mile up the road from us (we live in a very rural area), whereas my family lives about 50 miles away. . . this will become relevant in a minute. . .
WELL, last weekend my parents came to visit me for a short while, and apparently my SO’s mom saw them driving up our long driveway, as she was on her way somewhere and could see our driveway. She’s a bit nervous and overprotective herself, and there have been some creepy incidents around here lately, and she knew I was home by myself that day. So she followed them up the driveway, not knowing it was them and being concerned about marauders, and when I heard voices in our parking area and walked up to investigate, it seemed that she and my parents were having as civil an interaction as three people could under those circumstances. I thought it was very odd that my SO’s mother would do this.
Then, the whole time my parents were here, my mother kept asking me why my SO’s mom would do such a thing. I said I don’t know, it was weird, but it’s not my problem, she’s never done something like that before! Unfortunately since my mom has a really badly screwed up view of my SO’s family, this incident apparently drove her crazy and made her think who knows what awful things about the environment I live in.
So, anyway, I get home today and my SO tells me that he heard that my mom called up his mom and said that her behavior (i.e. coming to check on who it was coming up the driveway) was UNACCEPTABLE and rude! Using those words! I can’t believe my mother did this! How stupid! And then of course, because my SO’s mom is upset that my parents have not accepted him and tried to behave decently to him, she said to my mom that she thought my mom’s behavior towards my SO has been very rude. Then apparently there was a long silence, and my SO’s mom basically said, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Goodbye” and hung up. WTF???????
SH*T. This sucks. I HATE how parents think they have to get involved in their children’s adult relationships (I’m 25 and my SO is 40, and we are QUITE CAPABLE of existing and living without crap like this, or parental intervention of any kind). Now I’m really mad at my mother, and rather mad at my SO’s mother. There has been SOOOOO much garbage with my parents being rude about my SO for so long– I’m just DONE with this crap. This stupid thing is between the two mothers and I’m not getting involved. It’s just insulting that my mother thinks she can call someone up who she barely knows and tell them she thinks their behavior is rude and unacceptable, especially since the land the driveway is on is owned by my SO’s parents (though my SO owns the big chunk of land our house is on).
OH MY GOD. I can’t believe how immature this behavior is. I’m so sick of the whole affair (my parents have been almost entirely unreasonable about my relationship from the beginning, 3.5 years ago, when I am perfectly happy with my relationship and I DO NOT need anyone meddling or telling me what is or is not OK!). I’m not sure what, if anything, I’m going to say to my mother about this, but this problem is between HER and my SO’S mom, and I am going to have as little to do with it as possible! It is GARBAGE!! WTH would you do?
ETA: I should add that I have very calmly and seriously told my parents that I make my own choices and they cannot and should not meddle in my relationship. I have also behaved in a fashion that makes this clear, but I’m an only child and they are WEIRD. UGH.