Post # 1
My Aunt is throwing me a shower, I think that is such a nice surprise, and so nice of her. She lives a few hours away and is traveling to co host with my other aunt. So one of my bridesmaids lives across the country. I would NEVER expect her to come for my shower, I mean I’d love it if she were there, but totally understand that she couldn’t make it. I’m sad that my friend moved, and I want her to feel included in the wedding festivities. BUT I feel like If I invite her she’ll feel obligated to send me a present, which I don’t want to happen. If I don’t invite her she might feel left out,or not included. She is in the wedding after all. So should I add her to the invite list that I’m giving to my aunt or leave it off knowing she can’t make it?
I also have a few friends that live an hour and a half away. I want to include them too, but again I feel like they might feel obligated. I guess in general I feel really apologetic about everything wedding related and I don’t know why. I’ve got a wicked guilt complex going on, I’ve kind of always been like that. I feel awkward about having a shower at all and wasn’t planning on having one because my Fiance and I have almost everything we need. And having a party for the sole purpose of getting gifts makes me feel bad. I guess I just need advice on what to do about the shower invite list. I could possibly be overthinking this. I just don’t want to look gift grabby.
Post # 3
@abbybee: Just send them a invite. It never hurts to include people! We sent my cousin one even though she is almost 6 hours away. She politely declined since she was coming in town the next weekend. I didn’t think she would feel obligated but I didn’t want her to feel left out.
Post # 4
This may make you feel much better. YOU are not having a shower, and YOU are not inviting anyone TO the shower. Your AUNT is hosting a shower in your honor, and she will be doing the inviting.
I would provide your aunt with the list of names that I presume she requested from you and not attempt to exempt certain individuals due to distance or other factors. If these friends are able to attend, they will. If they are not, they still may choose to send a gift. However, every invited guest has the option of declining the invitation without needing to provide a reason.
Post # 5
Thanks you guys! I didn’t think about it as my aunt hosting and me attending, which is exactly what it is. I feel better about the invite list.
Post # 6
send the invitite. let the people decide if they want to come or not.
Post # 7
@abbybee: Definitely invite your friends within a 3 hour drive radius. It’s an easy drive and could be a lovely day trip. I drove 6+ hours to go to my friend’s shower because I WANTED to see her and I WANTED to give her a lovely gift. I think you may be surprised just how many fans you really have.
TBH, I live with maddening guilt but try to tuck it away. This moment of being a bride-to-be is so short. Celebrate it!
Post # 8
@LilRhodyGem: You’re right! I don’t know why I feel like I’m putting people out all the time. People love weddings! Especially close friends. Thank You 🙂