Weddingbee boards

I think that is a great way to approach it. Your dad's feelings may be a little hurt, but he has to understand that he has not been a huge part of your life. I think the fact that you are including him for your Father Daughter dance is wonderful and he will feel special.

I too have a similar situation with my real father who didn't decide to be a part of my life until I was 18.  I am much closer to my stepdad than my father but my stepdad does not want to walk me down the aisle because he has really bad anxiety problems and he doesn't want to hurt my father.  My solution to this is to have my little brother walk me down.  Just last weekend my father decide to ask who was walking me, I was so incredibly nervous telling him because I knew he would have a problem with it.  He then wanted to know why I chose my brother and I said "I have 2 dads to pick from and I am taking the easy comfortable way out."  His response to this was "No sweetheart you only have one dad, you have a stepdad, but only one dad."  This infuriated me to no end, I just wanted to tell him that if he felt he was my only dad then where has he been all my life when my stepdad was raising me.  The other kicker to this story is that the original reason he called was to tell me happy birthday, my birthday was 2 weeks prior to the call but he forgot.  At this point I have decided that I am not telling him any details about the when and where until really close to the wedding just in case I don't want him there.  I really hate that but it's our day and I don't want him ruining it.  I think you are making a great choice but like the others have said, I don't know if I would sugar coat it for him, it's your day.  He should just be happy to be a part of it.  Congratulations 

I totally understand what you're going through, too. I had to have this conversation with my dad about a year and a half ago, when I was seriously dating my FI and realized that I wanted to nip this problem in the bud before it got closer to an engagement and wedding. You can do it! It can feel so scary, but it can be really worth it too. I am also extremely close to my mom (I grew up in a house with her and my brother). When I told my dad that I wanted the two of them to walk me down the aisle, he started crying...but not because he was sad, because he knew it was perfectly fitting and the best choice. The two of us decided that neither of us can handle his being present at the wedding, which was a huge blessing because it's just stressful for both of us. We are just now starting to build a relationship. Instead, FI and I will sit down with him once we get our pictures developed and share the memories with him. I hope your dad reacts positively too, and that you feel comfortable with the final decision. Your phrasing is awesome...what a good spin on the situation!