Post # 1
This is mainly just a vent that I need to get out before I cry. I have been in my position for 5 months now and it was going rather well up until these past two weeks.
From July-August I was not feeling well at all and I did end up falling behind in my filing because it was very difficult for me to stand up and bend over without feeling ill. I missed some time from being too unwell to go to work and fell behind on a few more things. Despite explaining this to my supervisor and boss they seemed to be under the impression I was exaggerating.
Finally at the end of August the doctor finally confirmed that I was hypertensive and put me on a couple of different medications to help me out. Within a week I was feeling like myself and no longer missed any time and started working hard to catch back up. But then at the beginning of September I had to lose a few hours of work to attend wedding related meetings plus other medical appointments and was not able to catch up as quickly as I would’ve liked.
Despite my hard work to catch up there are 3 situations in the past 2 weeks that have labelled me the “liar” at work:
1) I reconcile several accounts with statements that are very large. My training for this was in my first week at work and they never followed up to make sure I had it down or to confirm I was shown all steps. It turns out that a few steps were left out of my training and I haven’t been confirming the balance correctly for 4 months – they are balanced though, it was just my process of getting there. My supervisor freaked out on me for “making it work” rather than following my training, I spoke up about how I was never shown those final confirmation steps and was told that I was lying about it and need to be more careful.
2) I was calling regular vendors to make credit card payments with 2 different cards. On one call I requested that card #2 be used instead of the usual card #1 and was told by the woman it would be done. The next day we discovered she charged the amount to the wrong card and I had to just rearrange the remaining payments. It was a small mistake and a simple fix but my supervisor insisted on calling and yelling at the poor woman about how unacceptable it was. The woman on the other end lied to my supervisor and said that she didn’t recall me ever mentioning it was a different card (even though she confirmed it on the phone with me) and my supervisor then turned on me and called me a liar.
3) Weeks ago I received a travel expense package from the boss (summary page + receipts) so that I could properly record the expenses and file the receipts away, I was unaware that everything had to be kept together and filed the receipts separately in the appropriate files (the summary sheet was attached to 1). For whatever reason my supervisor asked to see the summary page and even though I remember stapling it to the hotel receipt we could not find it (or that receipt) anywhere. I had helped her search for over an hour as I remembered filing it but it appeared it either got misfiled or was taken. She told me that those were both lies and that she KNEW I threw it out and was always lying to get out of trouble.
So now I am the liar at work and I feel so defeated as I’ve always felt like my supervisor was against me. I luckily have Monday off and don’t need to face her again until Tuesday but I feel like my reputation has been ruined and I won’t be able to work confidently again. She is always droping clues that she thinks I am incompetent, she thinks I wedding plan on company time, she thinks I twidle my thumbs when no one is around to see me work… everytime I say anything to her I feel like she doesn’t understand what I am saying!
I don’t know what I can do to prove to her that situation 1 was simply a lack of training, that situation 2 was a miscommunication with the other woman and situation 3 is a paper that is simply misplaced and should turn up…. the more I try to communicate that I am not lying about these things the more she seems to think I am covering up.
Post # 2
I’m not sure about everything else, but if I were a supervisor, in all honesty, I would bit a bit concerned about an employee who ‘lost a few hours of work for wedding-related meetings’. Especially when it sounds as if you have missed some time due to medical issues. The medical thing is totally understandable, but to add on to it losing time for your wedding, yes, your supervisor may think that you have bride-brain right now and aren’t 100% focused on the job.
I would just make sure all of your ‘i’s are dotted and your ‘t’s are crossed for everything in the future since it sounds like she will be watching you. Double check yourself. Keep good records. Don’t let yourself be caught in a situation where your work ethic or practices will be questioned; show them you are a dependable and competent employee.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium
I don’t think there’s anything that can be done at this point with those three situations. From here on out though I’d try to make sure there aren’t any problems and work to gain her trust back. If you are unsure about anything ask someone, if not your boss maybe a co-worker can help you out.
The medical stuff shouldn’t be a problem becaue that’s understandable and you have the doctor’s confirmation. I’m not sure when your wedding is, but do whatever you can to keep it from getting in the way of work. If more meetings pops up that can’t be scheduled outside of work hours maybe your fiance or a friend who knows what you want and are planning can fill in.
Post # 4
MrsYokiman: It wasn’t a few hours of wedding related stuff (didn’t want too much detail in that long thing) but when you combine it with the medical appointments (all during my lunch hours that ended up going longer than anticipated) you have a few hours total that I lost from work, wedding related was maybe a half hour total where I missed and it was cleared in advance. I am still very confused about how she figures I am wedding planning while at work, I don’t even check my personal emails or anything during the day so it is a stretch to think I am secretly wedding planning.
I’ll certainly be on my toes for the next little while to make sure absolutely no mistakes are made – even if they aren’t my fault! Hopefully if nothing like this happens again they’ll just forget about the assumptions of me being a liar.
barrogten: The only thing I worry about with starting to ask whenever I am unsure is that I end up looking like I am incompetent. I had asked a lot of questions in my first couple of months and my supervisor seemed to get the impression that I was a complete idiot so I stopped asking so many questions but maybe just reconfirming things with her will make sure there is no confusion.
The previous wedding meetings were the only time it will ever get in the way of work since the wedding is very soon and those were final meetings with out of town vendors. I had booked the meetings before I had known about needing the time off for doctors appointments, looking back it would’ve been a good idea to have just had my mother bring my notes to meet with them.
Post # 5
Hmm – I was a manager for a long time with a large organization and I dealt with a plethora of illness related absences, none of which were wedding related. Had I even one 30 minute absence for a wedding related issue, I would be going over the total time off and viewing the issues with a lot of skepticism.
I’m sorry, but business is business and my boss would have come down on me for a performing my duties incompetently. Since you are my responsibility, I really couldn’t argue the point could I?
I don’t believe for a second you are incompetent, perhaps just young and inexperienced. Unfortunately the world outside of your world is vicious and unpredicable. For every job you aren’t able to perform, there are dozens, if not hundeds of people who will.
Protect yourself and your personal life from any further scrutiny and plan your marriage on your days off.
Let us know how you are doing ok? I do hope you can sort this out.
Post # 6
WeddingBells2014: I’m sorry, I guess I misunderstood. You said, ‘But then at the beginning of September I had to lose a few hours of work to attend wedding related meetings‘ in addition to your medical time off, so I thought that meant you took time off work for wedding-related issues.
Regardless, you are a newer employee and there have been mistakes made on your watch, whether or not they were entirely your fault. That coupled with the lost time is going to make any employer a bit uneasy this early in the game. I advise you with the same motto I do my students: ‘facta non verba–actions not words’. Don’t tell your supervisor that you aren’t lying about these issues; show her you are a worthwhile, competent employee by doing your job and doing it well. You need to stop trying to convince her you aren’t lying. Let these past incidents go and make sure you do everything you can to ensure no more happen.
I know this must be a very stressful time for you, especially with the onset of medical issues. Just take a deep breath and think of Tuesday as a new start. Forget the past and work on the future. Good luck, and an extra wish of good luck for your upcoming wedding!
Post # 7
Did they actually use the words “liar” and “lying”? Because that is harsh and unacceptable to me. No one calls me a liar- and on the flip side I would never say that to someone directly. Or was that just implied or you inferred it?
Post # 8
Try not to lose any time from work for wedding planning (I am not sure if you have had the wedding or not) anymore. If you have to delegate to FI or even the bridal party or other family to take care of these things because you are having trouble at work, I am sure they would help you. Also, the next time something is wrong, apologize to your supervisor. Apparently, she does not want to hear an excuse, whether it is true or not. Also, document things as much as you can. Seriously with dates and times. This should include documenting her behavior. In the future, this may save you from being written up or worse. Good luck with work, I hope things improve for you.