Post # 1
So my wedding is coming in July this year. I am happy about getting married to the man I love. And he is happy too. We both are immigrants from Russia/Ukraine, though he has been in the states for a long long time already, and I’ve been here for little more than 4 years. So…the problem is, that my relatives are not coming to our wedding (obviously because they can’t afford it financially). The only person who is here is my mom. I know I should shut up now and be happy that at least my mom is here. But I feel upset 🙁 I read other bees posts about how they are invinting 150 people and stuff, and that makes me upset about that I can’t have a nice big wedding like that. My fi’s parents and grandma are coming, which I am really happy about, I love them. But I wish my grandparents could come too, I miss them and they are old too, I don’t even know when I will be able to see them again (or will I). I wish my mom’s sisters and their kids (some already married) could come, because we were really close before we immigrated (and I have been to their weddings). I wish 4 of my best girlsfriends could come and be bridesmaids, and one of them would be the MOH, I miss them so. I am not going to have bridesmaids, and not going to have the MOH, because I haven’t made any good friends here (not that I am weird, I am an introvert, and had my friends for a long time in Ukraine). I feel so defective…..My wedding is gonna be empty :((( I’m not gonna have a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and I have to plan everything by myself and go to the bridal shops with my fi to pick the dress. My mom is not a big help with the wedding (she doesn’t speak english well enough, and doesn’t know stuff at all)
Please, don’t suggest to have another wedding in Ukraine, I am scared to go there, I don’t wanna get robbed and beaten up and taken away all my documents and credit cards by some crazy people over there who think that if I am from the states than I am a millioner.
To finish it up on a good note, I wanna mention that my fi’s father is going to walk me down the aisle, which makes me really happy. Because all my life I was certain that I will be walking there alone (if ever married), my biological father gave up on my mom when she was pregnant with me.
Post # 3
I know it is touch now but just keep thinking about the fact that they wont be there because they can’t not because they don’t want to. And in the end it is all about you and FI. You wont be thinking about who is there and who isn’t. You will just be enjoying each other.
Post # 4
Are you hiring a videographer to capture your day that you could then send to your family over seas.
Or, would it be financially possible to honeymoon somewhere safe for you to travel to but closer to where they live (Greece or Austria or something) and meet up there? That is at least cheaper for them.
Post # 5
THat was one of my ideas is send them the video after the wedding or you could try to Skype them in. I am not sure how awesome the quality would be but at least you would know they are there watching.
I had to skype my mom in for when i tried on dresses because she is homebound and can’t get out of the house.
I hope you feel better! Your wedding day will be amazing no matter what.
Post # 6
Its not the same, but maybe you could set up a web cam at the ceremony and stream it live on the internet for your distant family to watch?
Or at a point in the reception set up skype on a large screen so someone there could give a toast?
I am sorry that you are sad. It must be tough.
Post # 7
I’m sorry, that must be so tough. I think the idea that a PP posted about trying to honeymoon somewhere that they could meet up with you is a great idea. Then you could all go out for a special meal and celebrate together.
Post # 8
i’m sorry, it must be so hard to be far away from so many people you love. i second pp’s suggestion of a webcam or skype or something so you can include some of the people
Post # 9
If you’re scared of going back to Ukrain, have you thought of having a party for your family and friends in a country that’s closer like poland, Slovakia, or hungary. They are safter and would not cost your friends and relatives adn arm and a leg.
Post # 10
Thank you for your comments and for being so understanding.
We are planning on having our wedding professionally videotaped, and of course we are going to give them a copy of it. But the wedding itself is going to feel incomplete, because of abcence of bridesmaids, MOH and just happy smiling people. Maybe I am just overreacting, and we just should go somewhere and elope, but still I always wanted to have a big nice wedding.
I liked the idea of going to some safer coutry, but I don’t even think they will have money for that…They all live below the poverty line, and at times ask us for money because they have nothing to eat…I feel bad about everything. The economy there is so bad that money for people are more important than relatives, friends. Sometimes I feel they don’t even care, and in our relationship with them everything is set up that we owe them everything because we live in the states and they don’t even have to send us cards for birthdays because they live overthere (even though it’s pretty cheap). They just frustrate me…