I am worried about our relationship… Just venting, long.

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s likely that what you’re experiencing with him will continue. 

If you don’t like what he’s doing now, then you should probably end the relationship, because it’s not likely that he’ll change any time soon. It’s not wise to continue a relationship because you hope the other person will change. More often than not it just leads to frustration, lots of trouble, and heartbreak. 

I would advise talking to him about this again to try and get him to understand what you’re going through and what you need from him, but it sounds like you’ve already tried that. You could still try it, but if he still doesn’t change his ways, it’s probably best to accept the fact that this is how he is and move on.

You can find a man who is more attentive, is driven to make his life and that of his SO better, who is appreciative, and reciprocates. That is what you want, so that is what you should have. It doesn’t appear that the man you’re with now will be able to do all of that. You should find a man who can, and there are plenty of men like this out there. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  .
Post # 3
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

DO NOT MARRY HIM!

Post # 5
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, that’s what happens: things are good, even great, for a few days or weeks, maybe even months, and then they go back to how they were. 

When things always go back to how they were, it’s likely that that’s how things will stay. They also tend to get worse.

Post # 6
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

figs2006:  this guys sounds like a loser and a waste of time. You’re too young to put all your eggs in one basket. Move on and get rid of him girl. 

Post # 7
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

These are some harsh statements about a 21-22 year old guy.  I think he is just young and not necessarily doomed to a lifetime of being a loser  but if you want a more mature relationship now, you will probably need to find it with someone else.

Post # 8
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The question you have to ask yourself is: Do you want to do this for the rest of your life?

Stop expecting/asking him to change. Assume that he is who he is, and nothing, besides HIM wanting to sincerely change (not you wanting him to), will truly allow him to make changes. Its easy to think “but he would be the perfect partner if only he did ____”, but that is neither realistic or logical.

Its perfectly fine to voice your concerns, needs, and wants, but you cannot force your partner into complying with them. You have to decide whether or not you can live with his “unchanged” self, and whether that would make you happy, or if you need to leave the relationship to go find a person who can meet those expectations.

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

nycsa:  I’m pretty sure lying and cheating are totally inappropriate at any age. But you do have a point. It’s so hard to give grown up advice to kids. And when I was that age, I felt like advice from older people was irrelevant.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Post # 11
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

coffeedrinker:  She didn’t exactly say he was cheating. 

Post # 12
Member
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You’re so young…it’s time to move on. Don’t you want better than that?  If you move on then you get to experience meeting a new guy & all of those amazing feelings & excitement that comes along with meeting someone new! It’s so much fun to meet someone you like & getting to know them….feeling wanted & appreciated….and you get to fall in love with again,  with someone new! I’m so jealous!  I absolutely loved those experiences.  I loved meeting a new guy & getting so excited to hang out with them & the butterflies when you first kiss them! Don’t settle. You will never be happy.  You will be having this exact same battle for the rest of ypur life. Give yourself the opportunity & chance to meet new guys that make you feel amazing! 

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