I backed out of my friend's wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@TriggerhippyTiffy:  You have every right to back down from bridesmaid status, especially considering you don’t support what she’s doing. You did the right thing by being completely honest with her but don’t be surprised if this drastically changes your friendship.

Post # 4
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@TriggerhippyTiffy:  I don’t think so. Everyone has different tolerance levels for this sort of thing. You are still offering your love and support by attending as a guest. If you really feel like it’s bothering her in a week or two, then ask to meet for coffee or a girl’s night and just tell her again how much you care about her and that you will support her by being there if that is what she decides she wants.

Post # 5
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@TriggerhippyTiffy:  I don’t think you’re wrong. It feels kind of dishonest when you’re supposed to be standing up there in support of a marriage when you know it actually won’t work. At the same time, if it were me, I don’t think I would have stepped down as a bridesmaid. I’d see it as my friend needing my support. She’s clearly confused. Why do you think she’s going through with the marriage?

Post # 7
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@TriggerhippyTiffy:  Yeah, it kind of sounds like maybe your friendship has run its course. She seems to be unwilling to change her situation. Things can only improve when someone WANTS them to. I’m proud of you for not being the company to her misery. 

Post # 8
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

They’re already married.  Your friend has already made this choice and this commitment. This might not seem like a smart choice or a moral choice to you, but this is the road she’s decided to take.  It’s so heartbreaking to watch friends make wrong choices, but all you can do is support them and be there.  

Post # 9
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think you’re wrong.
As a matter of fact, if you were my friend and I was in her shoes, it would be a bit of a wake-up call to me (a harsh one).

The tricky thing is that she’s already technically married, so it’s sort of like this wedding is a farce in the first place – they really didn’t tell anyone who’s going? As a guest I’d be so offended if I found out something like that later on… but that’s just me.

I’m sorry you had to make a tough choice, but I think you made the right one overall.

Post # 10
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

Mine is a bit similar. During the Bachelorette party my BF told me how much she missed her EX and then “magically” he showed up later that evening. She was crying about how she didn’t know if she was making the right decision. Well, we couldn’t get him away from us or my best friend away from him. i tried my best. Somehow they left together to another bar and I decided it was time for me to go and I wouldn’t be a part of this circus.  . I told her I didn’t want to be apart of her wedding because what she did was uncalled for and I don’t want to stand next to someone and support cheating on your husband. My result was not pretty though.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you do. there is no point in standing in supporting her when you don’t believe in what she did. Hopefully she understands and if she doesn’t well she isn’t a realy friend. That’s how I learned about my so called best friend. Good luck

Post # 13
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

@canadajane: I agree. it’s too late since the’re already married. why make matters worse?  

 

Post # 14
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Whether she has the party or not, she’s already legally married, so even if she doesn’t have the party she will still need to get a divorce…….so the deed is done, why not be up there by her side, the false marriage has already done. I’m sure its not easy for her, sometimes people get so caught up in things and its easier tkvne married than back out, its sad but it happens. She needs her friends support right now, I’m sure she already knows its wrong so don’t turn your back on her yet especially since she’s already married. 

Post # 16
Member
6869 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think the statement that you are making for this not even a wedding reception, is completely appropriate to the circumstances. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors